He’s Just Not That Into You Review
For those twitter-heads out there, here is the short version of my review:
He’s Just Not That Into You pulled a No Country For Old Men…it had a great message of empowerment until the end - then they pooped on it.
For those who want more substance, read on. But be advised, spoilers follow.
Gigi is arguably in the most dire need of the lesson the book, based on an episode of Sex & The City, apparently seeks to teach. I’ve seen the episode but not read the book but the point is, if a potential partner gives off clear signs that they aren’t interested move on rather than try to make excuses for them and re-interpret their behavior until it fits your fantasy – to do so is disrespectful to yourself and your value and to their attempt at honesty. It’s also about reading those signs but I think the critical message is one of self awareness and empowerment. It’s a good message. Don’t believe the polite lies and false stories your friends tell you just because they don’t want to see you upset. The faint hope they offer is false. Rather be aware of yourself, those around you, and don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t see your value because they will not come around and you cannot fix them and even if either was the case you deserve better – you deserve someone you don’t have to fix and who can see and appreciate your value.
Gigi is the poster child for the kind of person who desperately needs to hear this message both for themselves and others. Justin Long’s character gives her the message and all is well until she disregards most of his message through excuses and reinterpretation and completely reverts, stands up for her old neurotic ignorant previous self and gets rewarded with a happy ending. Up until that happens the film carried a wonderful message of self awareness and self empowerment but by giving the character a happy ending brought about because she ignores the advice and reverts to type completely misses the point and sends the wrong message in the end. The stereotypical Hollywood happy ending killed the value of this plotline. She could have had a happy ending that came from her self-awareness, growth, and emotional independence but instead she throws a hissy fit and gets what she wants by waiting for it to happen. This has possibly caused the creation of an entire generation of Gigis which makes me want to contemplate building a bomb shelter.
Ben Affleck’s character is also worth discussing. Now there is a logical flaw to his character in that if he doesn’t believe in marriage then why does he not just do it if he doesn’t care. I, for example, do not believe in unicorns but if my girlfriend really wanted me to take an oath never to hurt a unicorn I’d probably do it - particularly if she waits 7 years. But alright, let’s accept the logical fallacy of the character and move on. So it’s a part of who he is and through a series of events his girlfriend comes to accept the whole of his person – not everything except some detail about him she wants to change. Good for her, happy ending within sight, all is well. Then the butthole (I so want to use stronger language here) goes and purposes. What’s the casual viewer who really needs to see this film going to get out of it? Was it that she passed his test? Oh great, mind games. Fantastic, well done movie.
So what will people take away from these two stories? Be neurotic, proud of yourself for defining yourself completely in terms of your dream boyfriend, and be patient and you’ll get everything you want. And if you give your boyfriend an ultimatum and pass his tests you’ll get what you want.
Now I understand that it’s nice to see people have happy endings and I admit they were somewhat creative and had some fantastic lines in how it happened but they could have still done all that without completely destroying the message. Let’s see if I can undo some of the damage…
Lesson 1 – Don’t be neurotic. If you find yourself obsessing about something then that something has too much power in your life. Take charge. Rediscover a hobby or old friend or something.
Lesson 2 – You are you. You are not your boyfriend or your dream boyfriend. Your life is yours and if you give virtual strangers this much power over you then your life will constantly be in chaos.
Lesson 3 – Patience is good but the kind of patience where you wait by the phone is not patience, it is drama. Drama sucks, avoid it at all costs. And pay your damn bills on time.
Lesson 4 – People are whole individuals – complete menu items if you will. They are not a la cart – you cannot pick and choose or fix things you don’t like. Only they can do that and you cannot wait for them to decide to do so for they may never will and you cannot make them want to change for any such change would be false and likely temporary.
Lesson 5 – For the love of god man up when talking to your friends; tell them the truth to their face or you don’t respect them and you are possibly doing them great harm.
Lesson 6 – There are no tests, people do say what they mean. Those who don’t, you probably don’t want to be around. Don’t tell people what they meant to say – they probably said what they meant to say and if not it’s up to them to correct it.
As for the other plotlines they were entertaining and wonderfully performed and I saw no real logic or message flaws except when Jennifer Connelly’s character starts over she defines progress as dating – again defining herself by other people. I did kind of want to see Scarlett Johansson and Bradley Cooper’s characters together at the end of the film but I was happy to see that not everyone got the Hollywood happy ending and in the end that was more rewarding because it respected my intelligence.
I liked some of the musical selections particularly the use of R.E.M.’s Supernatural Superserious in the movie and The Cure’s Friday I’m In Love in the credits.
Other than that I can totally see what people see in Scarlett Johansson and Bradley Cooper now; I’m confident in my relationship and sexuality respectively to say they are both beautiful looking people. And they had great chemistry – that was some fantastic casting.
Overall it’s a great movie that screwed up the messaging at the end by not having the balls to stay true to itself or the reality it did such an excellent job depicting throughout the rest of the film.
