Grazing Rites

Western Conference

Chicago vs. Vancouver

Chicago’s overall record is stronger than Vancouver’s with Vancouver just edging ahead in less OT Losses and a stronger 5-on5.   Against each other, the two teams are pretty evenly matched - the teams met four times in the regular season and each team netted 2 wins and 2 losses – however Luongo seems to be a greater obstacle against the Hawks than Khabibulin for the ‘Nucks posting a 2-1-0 record with a 2.36 GAA and a .923 save percentage to go along with one shutout. 
Without a doubt, this will be a hard fought series though I think the Canucks have had more of an opportunity to rest and regroup going into the series and that will be their 7th man this series. 
I predict the Canucks will take the series in 6, though I’m a Vancouverite so take that with whatever quantity of salt you wish.

Anaheim vs. Detroit

Anaheim’s ’08-’09 record compare to the Wing’s is, in many areas, sub-par however they do have a lot of things going for them; the least of which is rookie net minder Johan Hiller.  He is a tremendous goaltender for a veteran, much less a “tender” rookie with a record .919 save percentage and a 2.30 GAA in the regular season and getting strong in the playoffs at a .957 save percentage and a 1.64 GAA (besting Osgood in both the regular and post season, despite Osgood ranking higher in the regular with 26 wins versus Hiller’s 23). 
The Ducks have eliminated the Wings in the ’03 and ’07 playoff seasons and are 4-1 in the Joe Louis arena in the last five playoff meetings, so the home ice advantage may be more for the Duck’s.  The Ducks are also not the same team they were when they last met with the Wings on Feb. 20. 
All that said, the Ducks don’t have the everlasting dynasty that the Wings have going for them and the Wings have got to be a bit sore about their less than stellar record at home against the young Ducks.   With Datzyuk being a strong Duck hunter (netting 3 goals and 4 assists in the last four regular season matches). 
I think I’m going Detroit in 7, but then again, I can’t stand Chris Pronger and will always root the team that plays against him.

Eastern Conference

Carolina vs. Boston

As decent a team as the ‘Caines are (my partner doesn’t like me admitting this), they are simply outmatched by the Bruins.  The four times the two teams met up in the regular season the B’s destroyed the ‘Caines.  Caroline will pose no significant threat against Boston’s top three lines, though I suppose the fourth like might have their work cut out for them, but come on.  It’s the fourth line. 
The Bruins in 5 (Carolina will fluke their way into a win, and then the Bears will show the young upstarts what happens when an expansion teams pits themselves up against an Original 6 team).

Pittsburgh vs. Washington

Ovechkin up against Crosby and Malkin?  As little as I like all three of them (well, Malkin’s actually a cool dude, he just has the misfortune of being Crosby’s go-to guy) it’s still going to make for great hockey.  On paper the two teams are pretty evenly matched though the Caps have eliminated the Pens three out of four times.  That said, two Caps wins were when Gonchar wasn’t in the lineup (for either team) and the Pens now have Gonchar (who helped them net their one series win against the Caps) and new head coach Bylsma in their roster.  The Pens also have the rookie Washington goalie going for them.  That’s right.  I said the Pens have Washingron’s Varlamov going for them.  While he was pretty decent in the first round, he’s also only seen less than 350 minutes of ice time during the regular season.  Unless Jose Theodore makes some miraculous come back (I don’t think Caps Head Coach Bruce Boudreau will be likely to forget Theo’s massive breakdown in Game 1 against the Rangers), Varlamov is soon going to crack under the weight of the teams Stanley Cup dreams. 
Pens in 7.

So I’m over at my mom’s place when I notice a doctor’s note for a prescription on her desk…

…it was for a youtube video.

12 years ago in July of 1997 on a boring summer afternoon Jon and I got the idea to create a website. Years before blogs, facebook, myspace, youtube, and even friendster we wanted a presence on the internet. A place to share our thoughts, jokes, stories, movie reviews, pictures, and videos.

And now all that is coming to an end.

To hell with that.

Yes the website had gone to seed like a once regularly tended garden, growing in every direction and much of it was dated and no longer relevant but it never stopped being a resource.

Of course nothing on the internet is ever truly, completely gone - The Way Back Machine chronicles every dumbass mistake you’ve ever made on the web. That’s both comforting and disturbing.

With one stress-relieving passtime having recently gotten the crap kicked out of it this major project isn’t entirely unwelcome. Given all the hours I’ve put into the site over the years it didn’t seem right to be so embarrassed by much of it. Seems to be a theme lately: facing projects that at the time seemed fun and worthwhile but in the end were mostly wastes of time.

But unlike imaginary vacations (how stupid does that sound?) I think there’s something good that can be salvaged here.

First I need to find a new home for the site. Yahoo! hasn’t yet announced when exactly they’ll be shutting Geocities down but the initial release kept mentioning this summer as when more definitive information would be forthcoming. I’m often ve y busy in the summer so I want to get out in front of this thing. I don’t want to wake up one day and find my website gone.

So the first step would seem to be trimming the crap…and there’s a lot to trim. Some pages that have been around since the beginning that are now little more than irritating e-mail forwards.

I think some pages worth keeping include: novel reviews, the story of my username, my convocation, some writing, the roadtrips section, and a few others. Things I have already removed include: half of the comedy section, the music section, the guestbook, Dark Enigma’s page, some extreneous DS9 pages, the story of AllAdvantage, Hiking and Karaoke pictures, and a bunch of other crap.

If there’s one thing I learned last week it was that vacations are selfish. So let’s accept that as granted.

There are 52 weeks in a year. I averaged 1 week of vacation time over the last few years. Does that make me 2% selfish?

Just call it introspective week here at Grazing Rites. Having received complaints about Hockey-related posts years ago and Travel-related post more recently I’m very curious to discover what people like and dislike about my blog. What makes people come to read it and what would they like done different.

Any good author should know a little something about his audience. Call it market research.

So what makes you want to visit this site? My writing style? Information about my life? Witty observations or other humour? A sense of obligation? The frequent updates?

About that last point, would you prefer daily posts that were hit-and-miss or rare updates that were always gold?

Do my Rock Band updates bore you to tears? Tired of my movie reviews? Sick of my thoughts on politics?

The other day on the Skytrain I swear I saw a modern day attempt at foot binding. You know that thing they used to do in China to keep women’s feet small but actually just caused incredible harm?

And some people think abusing our bodies for impossible and ironically unattractive ideals of beauty was a relatively new thing - this is like old school plastic surgery.

I’ve been re-evaluating some things with regard to my travel habits lately, specifically how they affect others. So once again, I swear for the last time on this subject, I’m looking for a little feedback.

Question #1 - The Videos
Those vacation videos I make, how would you describe them?
A) Entertaining
B) Interesting
C) Boring
D) Self-indulgent
E) Embarrassing

Question #2 - Trip Blogs
Blog entries I make mid- or post-trip talking about what I did, things that happened, reviewing things:
A) Interesting
B) Informative
C) Boring
D) I don’t read them
E) Keep it on TripAdvisor, jackass

Question #3 - Planning Blogs
Blog entries where I talk about where I want to go, planning trips, and counting down to a departure:
A) Interesting
B) Informative
C) Boring
D) I don’t read them
E) Self-indulgent angst-ridden crap

I know I don’t usually review specific TV episodes (the only exception being the last season of 24) but I’m trying to diversify.

*Spoilers follow*

And this isn’t a bad episode to try this out with because it seems to represent a fundamental shift in the show - and I’m not just talking about Casey’s promotion.

First off the show was really good. Scott Bakula and Chevy Chase were their usual fantastic selves, and the regular cast was at the top of their game as well. The writing both in terms of plot and dialogue was pitch-perfect but some plot points bare discussing.

I like that Chuck and Sarah’s relationship is evolving rather than becoming the yo-yo or constant reset button such relationships become in other, lesser shows.

As to the intersect finally being out of Chuck’s head and the danger that presents to the premise of the  show I think everyone’s forgetting about the Fulcrum database he absorbed - methinks his dad didn’t extract that particular data. Either he didn’t know it was there or didn’t know how to extract it.

Of course the idea that looking at pictures could take information out of your brain is pretty ludicrous but I’ll chalk that one up to suspension of disbelief.

Chuck’s renewal or cancellation is due to be made public by May 5th - there’s a twitter account out to save the show and it probably wouldn’t hurt to hit the official site if you’re a fan of the show.

I know I said I wouldn’t write about this subject but I think it’s important to understand it better first before putting it to rest, so please bear with me. I’d like to get some of your opinions.

Do you think…?

a) I should take a 1-week vacation this year
b) I should take two 1-week vacations this year, one without my family
c) Vacations are self-indulgent extravagancies only to be taken when they’ve been earned through particular hardship and should not be an annual activity even if you can afford it

Please vote below by posting a comment. Thank you.

Felt like ass last night, felt about the same this morning but the kid wanted to go outside so we went to Oakridge. Apparently the book store there went out of business. Anyways I tried to cheer myself up by buying some things since saving my money seems to be counterproductive and pointless. So I picked up Depeche Mode’s new album Sounds of the Universe for $20, it also came with a DVD. I also picked up a couple blu-rays: The Simpsons movie and The Sex & the City movie. Watched the Simpsons movie with the kid, he really enjoyed it. $76 later and I didn’t really feel any better.

And no I don’t want to talk about it – it was just pointed out to me recently that I’ve been blogging about one topic too much lately (although in my defence that topic only makes up about 11% of my posts) so I’m trying to mix it up but couldn’t think of anything else to write about.

I was debating with myself much of the day how to order the priorities of awesome scripted TV, hockey playoffs, and the Rock Band Star Trek contest. Then I find out Canadians can’t enter the contest.

The first contest, the random free track draw, Wii players and Canadians couldn’t enter.

The second contest, the battle of the bands, Wii players can enter but Canadians can not.

Maybe I’ll be able to enter the third contest, the avatar contest.

Oh well, I guess this means I don’t have to buy a new guitar and what to do with my television becomes a lot easier to decide.

Drums

Easy
Interpol – PDA
Modest Mouse – Float On
The Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat

Medium
Billy Idol – White Wedding
Blondie - One Way Or Another
Cheap Trick - Hello There
Devo – Uncontrollable Urge
Dinosaur Jr. – Feel The Pain
Foo Fighters - Everlong
Guns N’ Roses – Shackler’s Revenge
Jane’s Addiction – Mountain Song
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
Journey – Any Way You Want It [x4]
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Lit – My Own Worst Enemy [x1]
Lush - De-Luxe
Nirvana – Polly [x3]
Rage Against The Machine – Testify
Ratt - Round & Round
Smashing Pumpkins – Today
Speck – Conventional Lover [x2]
Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
The Donnas - New Kid In School
The Main Drag - A Jagged Gorgeous Winter
The Offspring – Come Out And Play (Keep ‘Em Separated) [x3]
The Who - Pinball Wizard [x2]
Journey – Don’t Stop Believing
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
The Replacements – Alex Chilton
Nirvana – Drain You

Vocals

Easy
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Oasis – Wonderwall [x3]
R.E.M. – Losing My Religion [x2]

Guitar

Easy
Modest Mouse – Float On

After a 6 year drought there is now an entire new season of roadtrip videos. I made 8 episodes in 3 days of intense editing. This season benefits from great advances in technology over the last 6 years. Shot in HD, thanks to Jon’s new camera, this season is proudly presented in 480p (season 1 was 144i, season 2 was 180i) widescreen. My dual core processor and Premiere 4.0 (used 2.0 in the previous 2 seasons) made the process much faster than in previous seasons but I still suffered through 3 Blue Screens of Death in the making of this season.

All episodes are available on my Facebook page and are also posted items on Josh’s Facebook page.

Unfortunately certain copyright holders have taken issue with my use of their music, which I make absolutely no money off of to be clear, on YouTube so not every episode is available there. Here’s the breakdown:

3×00 – Teaser
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htzsDp7GKYo
Taken with my digital camera, lower image quality

3×01 – Interviews
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSUFPkM7Tjw
A new concept for our videos

3×02 – Come Fly With Me
(no link available)
Video completely disabled, you can thank UMG.

3×03 – Hoover Dam
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTb5ZQwuqnY
Done in the classic styles of our pervious seasons

3×04 – Boulder City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb_ZD-B2CTg
Easily one of my proudest accomplishments

3×05 – Las Vegas Nightlife
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICr-8KlaxGE
Audio disabled, you can thank UMG

3×06 – James Darren
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEScYvEjH-E
Ironically no one had a problem with the bootleg

3×07 – The Strip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4iAUXQo7OI
Obligatory video of Vegas strip clichés

3×08 – Stratosphere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgIzG0EXIuY
Audio disabled, you can thank WMG

Boston vs. Montreal – Boston in 6 (Lucic and Bergeron will be the shining stars, but Recchi will save the day on more than one occasion.  D’Agostini will cause the Habs far too much trouble.  Price will sadly fall apart.  He has yet to fully recover from Carboneau’s grand douchiness.  Montreal will be feeling too insecure in their standing with the organization as more news of a future sale arises.)

Washington vs. Rangers – Washington in 7 (The Rangers will give them a run for their money, but all the Rangers really have for them is Antropov.  Naslund, as usual, is underperforming; Avery’s an ass.  As much as I’d like to say that all the Caps have is Ovechkin, it’s just not true.  They also have Backstrom and Semin and Federov.  Federov isn’t putting a lot of points to his name, but he’s got more playoff experience than most can dream of.  Regardless, Ovechkin needs to be taken down a peg.)

New Jersey vs. Carolina – New Jersey in 5 (The ‘Caines have a decent roster, and they have plenty of playoff experience for such a young team.  They already have a cup under their belt!  Pun very much intended.  Nevertheless, the Devils have an embarrassment of riches with their netminders.  They won’t pierce that wall often enough for it to make any real difference)

Pittsburg vs. Philadelphia – Pittsburg in 7 (Crosby will have a rocky start, but will pull himself together after the first two games; Malkin will be ever present; Staal will be his usual unshakable self.   Briere will be quite present for the Flyers side.)

San Jose vs. Anaheim – San Jose in 6/7 (I haven’t decided if it will go to 6 or 7 yet.  Both teams have a lot of strengths to provide, but Nabokov’s netminding and the Sharks’ strong offensive line will prove too much for the Ducks’ strong defense line)

Detroit vs. Columbus – Detroit sweeps (There’s just no contest.  It’s almost unfair.  It’ll be a total sweep.)

Vancouver vs. St. Louis – Vancouver in 6 (The Blues are far more hungry than Vancouver is; they have the future of the franchise to protect.  Nevertheless their lines aren’t as deep as Vancouver’s.  The Sedin’s will do their usual power play funny business that will make you want to hurt someone; Salo will save the day with his Sammi Salo Special; either Rypien or O’Brien will face a game suspension; Kesler and Wellwood will improve their score sheet and face-off record.  Strachan will be the top player on the Blues’ side as his payoff experience will be a major asset.)

Chicago vs. Calgary – Chicago in 6 (Calgary is and will be limping all the way to the golf course.  Not much noteworthiness will occur in this series.)

For simplicity’s sake I’m removing songs on Easy from the list that I’ve since completed on Medium.

Drums

Easy
Interpol – PDA
Modest Mouse – Float On
Nirvana – Drain You [x2]
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
The Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat

Medium
Billy Idol – White Wedding
Blondie - One Way Or Another
Cheap Trick - Hello There
Devo – Uncontrollable Urge
Foo Fighters - Everlong
Jane’s Addiction – Mountain Song
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
Journey – Any Way You Want It [x4]
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Lit – My Own Worst Enemy [x1]
Nirvana – Polly [x3]
Rage Against The Machine – Testify
Ratt - Round & Round
Speck – Conventional Lover [x2]
Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
The Donnas - New Kid In School
The Main Drag - A Jagged Gorgeous Winter
The Offspring – Come Out And Play (Keep ‘Em Separated) [x3]
The Who - Pinball Wizard
Smashing Pumpkins – Today
Dinosaur Jr. – Feel The Pain
Lush - De-Luxe
Guns N’ Roses – Shackler’s Revenge [first try]

Vocals

Easy
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Oasis – Wonderwall [x3]
R.E.M. – Losing My Religion [x2]

Guitar

Easy
Modest Mouse – Float On

I totally forgot that Avery plays for the Rangers now. I need to make a revision to my predictions…I should also clarify some of my choice are what I actually think will happen and others are more like hopes.

Round 1
Boston vs. Montreal – Montreal (Hope)
Washington vs. Rangers – Washington (Avery kills their spirit)
New Jersey vs. Carolina – New Jersey (Hope & Thought)
Pittsburg vs. Philadelphia – Pittsburg (Thought)
San Jose vs. Anaheim – San Jose (Thought)
Detroit vs. Columbus – Detroit (Hope & Thought)
Vancouver vs. St. Louis – Vancouver (Hope & Thought)
Chicago vs. Calgary – Calgary (Hope)

Round 2
Montreal vs. Washington – Montreal (Hope)
New Jersey vs. Pittsburg – Pittsburg (Thought)
San Jose vs. Detroit – Detroit (Hope & Thought)
Vancouver vs. Calgary – Vancouver (Hope)

Round 3
Montreal vs. Pittsburg – Montreal (Hope)
Detroit vs. Vancouver – Vancouver (Hope)

Round 4
Montreal vs. Vancouver – Vancouver (Hope)

I’m glad to see all the dialogue my predictions have sparked though - look for Mindi’s predictions to be Ghost Written in a couple days.

Round 1
Boston vs. Montreal – Montreal (in 7 games, hell of a series it will be!)
Washington vs. Rangers – Rangers (Ovechkin will underperform)
New Jersey vs. Carolina – New Jersey (sweep, Carolina crushed)
Pittsburg vs. Philadelphia – Pittsburg (in 7, Crosby & Malkin shine)
San Jose vs. Anaheim – San Jose (in 7 games, decided by goaltending)
Detroit vs. Columbus – Detroit (sweep, Columbus will get schooled)
Vancouver vs. St. Louis – Vancouver (in 5, they get lucky & piss us off)
Chicago vs. Calgary – Calgary (in 7, Calgary will take time to heal)

Round 2
Montreal vs. Rangers – Montreal (beating Boston will energize them)
New Jersey vs. Pittsburg – Pittsburg (eventually crack Brodeur’s code)
San Jose vs. Detroit – Detroit (Playoffs will make them focus more)
Vancouver vs. Calgary – Vancouver (in 7 games as Calgary re-injures)

Round 3
Montreal vs. Pittsburg – Montreal (Crosby & Malkin crack under strain)
Detroit vs. Vancouver – Vancouver (God Himself will intervene)

Round 4
Montreal vs. Vancouver – Vancouver (Lingering effects of intervention)

So here’s my promise. If Vancouver makes it to the finals I will upgrade my cable to HD regardless of cost.

Drums

Easy
Interpol – PDA
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Modest Mouse – Float On
Nirvana – Drain You [x2]
Nirvana – Polly
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
The Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat

Medium
Billy Idol – White Wedding
Blondie - One Way Or Another
Cheap Trick - Hello There
Jane’s Addiction – Mountain Song
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
Journey – Any Way You Want It [x3]
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Lit – My Own Worst Enemy
Nirvana – Polly [x3]
Rage Against The Machine – Testify
Ratt - Round & Round
Speck – Conventional Lover [x2]
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
The Offspring – Come Out And Play (Keep ‘Em Separated) [x3]
The Who - Pinball Wizard
Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger
The Donnas - New Kid In School
The Main Drag - A Jagged Gorgeous Winter
Devo – Uncontrollable Urge
Foo Fighters - Everlong

Vocals

Easy
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Oasis – Wonderwall [x3]
R.E.M. – Losing My Religion

Guitar

Easy
Modest Mouse – Float On

Clothes (3T or larger unless otherwise stated)
PJs
Sweatshirts
Hats
Light Jacket (4T)
Pants/Shorts
Shirts
Shoes (size 7)

Toys
Cozy Coupe
Kid’s Digital Camera
Plush Elmo (non-talking)
Thomas Toys (non-talking)
Tricycle
V-tech “Smartridges”

Other Stuff
Age-appropriate Transformers stuff
Diapers Size 5
Moneymaster Contribution
Potty Training Stuff
RESP Contribution
Sippy Cups – The First Years Thomas (blue lids)
Sony AA rechargeable batteries
Thomas DVDs (not “Rusty To The Rescure”)
Train Tickets (San Francisco, Edmonton, etc.)
Transformers G1 DVD Set
Wipes

Gift Cards
Chapters
Community Centre (i.e. punch card for swimming at Canada Games)
Gap Kids
Gymboree
Please Mum
Sears
Superstore
The Children’s Place

Please Do NOT Buy
Toys that make noise
Socks
Sunglasses

Drums

Easy
Interpol – PDA
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Modest Mouse – Float On
Nirvana – Drain You [x2]
Nirvana – Polly
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
The Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat

Medium
Billy Idol – White Wedding
Blondie - One Way Or Another
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
Journey – Any Way You Want It
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Lit – My Own Worst Enemy
Nirvana – Polly [x3]
Rage Against The Machine – Testify
Ratt - Round & Round
Speck – Conventional Lover [x2]
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
The Offspring – Come Out And Play (Keep ‘Em Separated) [x2]
The Who - Pinball Wizard
Jane’s Addiction – Mountain Song
Cheap Trick - Hello There

Vocals

Easy
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Oasis – Wonderwall [x2]

Guitar

Easy
Modest Mouse – Float On

For those twitter-heads out there, here is the short version of my review:

He’s Just Not That Into You pulled a No Country For Old Men…it had a great message of empowerment until the end - then they pooped on it.

For those who want more substance, read on. But be advised, spoilers follow.

Gigi is arguably in the most dire need of the lesson the book, based on an episode of Sex & The City, apparently seeks to teach. I’ve seen the episode but not read the book but the point is, if a potential partner gives off clear signs that they aren’t interested move on rather than try to make excuses for them and re-interpret their behavior until it fits your fantasy – to do so is disrespectful to yourself and your value and to their attempt at honesty. It’s also about reading those signs but I think the critical message is one of self awareness and empowerment. It’s a good message. Don’t believe the polite lies and false stories your friends tell you just because they don’t want to see you upset. The faint hope they offer is false. Rather be aware of yourself, those around you, and don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t see your value because they will not come around and you cannot fix them and even if either was the case you deserve better – you deserve someone you don’t have to fix and who can see and appreciate your value.

Gigi is the poster child for the kind of person who desperately needs to hear this message both for themselves and others. Justin Long’s character gives her the message and all is well until she disregards most of his message through excuses and reinterpretation and completely reverts, stands up for her old neurotic ignorant previous self and gets rewarded with a happy ending. Up until that happens the film carried a wonderful message of self awareness and self empowerment but by giving the character a happy ending brought about because she ignores the advice and reverts to type completely misses the point and sends the wrong message in the end. The stereotypical Hollywood happy ending killed the value of this plotline. She could have had a happy ending that came from her self-awareness, growth, and emotional independence but instead she throws a hissy fit and gets what she wants by waiting for it to happen. This has possibly caused the creation of an entire generation of Gigis which makes me want to contemplate building a bomb shelter.

Ben Affleck’s character is also worth discussing. Now there is a logical flaw to his character in that if he doesn’t believe in marriage then why does he not just do it if he doesn’t care. I, for example, do not believe in unicorns but if my girlfriend really wanted me to take an oath never to hurt a unicorn I’d probably do it - particularly if she waits 7 years. But alright, let’s accept the logical fallacy of the character and move on. So it’s a part of who he is and through a series of events his girlfriend comes to accept the whole of his person – not everything except some detail about him she wants to change. Good for her, happy ending within sight, all is well. Then the butthole (I so want to use stronger language here) goes and purposes. What’s the casual viewer who really needs to see this film going to get out of it? Was it that she passed his test? Oh great, mind games. Fantastic, well done movie.

So what will people take away from these two stories? Be neurotic, proud of yourself for defining yourself completely in terms of your dream boyfriend, and be patient and you’ll get everything you want. And if you give your boyfriend an ultimatum and pass his tests you’ll get what you want.

Now I understand that it’s nice to see people have happy endings and I admit they were somewhat creative and had some fantastic lines in how it happened but they could have still done all that without completely destroying the message. Let’s see if I can undo some of the damage…

Lesson 1 – Don’t be neurotic. If you find yourself obsessing about something then that something has too much power in your life. Take charge. Rediscover a hobby or old friend or something.

Lesson 2 – You are you. You are not your boyfriend or your dream boyfriend. Your life is yours and if you give virtual strangers this much power over you then your life will constantly be in chaos.

Lesson 3 – Patience is good but the kind of patience where you wait by the phone is not patience, it is drama. Drama sucks, avoid it at all costs. And pay your damn bills on time.

Lesson 4 – People are whole individuals – complete menu items if you will. They are not a la cart – you cannot pick and choose or fix things you don’t like. Only they can do that and you cannot wait for them to decide to do so for they may never will and you cannot make them want to change for any such change would be false and likely temporary.

Lesson 5 – For the love of god man up when talking to your friends; tell them the truth to their face or you don’t respect them and you are possibly doing them great harm.

Lesson 6 – There are no tests, people do say what they mean. Those who don’t, you probably don’t want to be around. Don’t tell people what they meant to say – they probably said what they meant to say and if not it’s up to them to correct it.

As for the other plotlines they were entertaining and wonderfully performed and I saw no real logic or message flaws except when Jennifer Connelly’s character starts over she defines progress as dating – again defining herself by other people. I did kind of want to see Scarlett Johansson and Bradley Cooper’s characters together at the end of the film but I was happy to see that not everyone got the Hollywood happy ending and in the end that was more rewarding because it respected my intelligence.

I liked some of the musical selections particularly the use of R.E.M.’s Supernatural Superserious in the movie and The Cure’s Friday I’m In Love in the credits.

Other than that I can totally see what people see in Scarlett Johansson and Bradley Cooper now; I’m confident in my relationship and sexuality respectively to say they are both beautiful looking people. And they had great chemistry – that was some fantastic casting.

Overall it’s a great movie that screwed up the messaging at the end by not having the balls to stay true to itself or the reality it did such an excellent job depicting throughout the rest of the film.

In light of this contest I thought it was time I stepped up my game…
http://www.rockband.com/forums/showthread.php?t=132042

Drums

Easy
Interpol – PDA
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Modest Mouse – Float On
Nirvana – Drain You [x2]
Nirvana – Polly
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
The Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat

Medium
Billy Idol – White Wedding
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Nirvana – Polly [x3]
Rage Against The Machine – Testify
Ratt - Round & Round
Speck – Conventional Lover [x2]
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
The Offspring – Come Out And Play (Keep ‘Em Separated) [x2]
Blondie - One Way Or Another
Journey – Any Way You Want It
Lit – My Own Worst Enemy
The Who - Pinball Wizard

Vocals

Easy
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Oasis – Wonderwall [x2]

Drums

Easy
Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat
Interpol – PDA
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Modest Mouse – Float On
Nirvana – Drain You (x2)
Nirvana – Polly
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon

Medium
Billy Idol – White Wedding
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Nirvana – Polly (x2)
Rage Against The Machine – Testify
Ratt - Round & Round
Speck – Conventional Lover
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
Offspring – Come Out And Play (Keep ‘Em Separated)

Vocals

Easy
Oasis – Wonderwall
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead