Grazing Rites

Unfortunately there’s not all that much to update on.

Before taking the car down to J.J.’s my girlfriend spoke to someone on the phone at the dealership who at one point apparently said “Well even 5% brakes are still working brakes” and reiterated that the warranty was for the drive train which does not include brakes. She made the counter point that we haven’t even had the car for 2 weeks so it was a little ridiculous to think it totally acceptable for the brakes to develop problems already. This little exchange, particularly the shady comment about 5% brakes still being brakes, did not inspire me with confidence – if they were already making these kinds of statements/arguments it looked like an uphill battle was before us.

We went to the dealership yesterday near closing time and the guy that sold us the car confirmed our thoughts that something is wrong with the forward right brake pad. He said to bring the car back the next morning, avoid driving as much as possible in the meantime, and they would take a look at it, fix it up, and “discuss cost at that time”. This was a little better than what we were hearing on the phone but still didn’t inspire me with confidence – it didn’t sound like they were helping us so much as selling us a service. Particularly when they said that it would cost no more than $70 to replace the brake pads, including parts and labour. The estimate was comforting as I was predicting well over at least $100 but at the same time it felt more like they were selling us something rather than fixing a problem they had at least shared responsibility regarding.

The car sounded horrible on the drive home. Each noise seemed like a harbinger of doom.

Jon came over for some Rock Band 2 last night and I described the problem to him. His theory is that there is some kind of dirt on the brake pad – this would explain why there’s been no loss in braking power. He suggested we find an empty stretch of road, get up to a serious speed and then slam on the brakes to get the dirt loose. I was very encouraged by his prognosis however I couldn’t ignore the fact that his advice was the exact opposite of what the alleged professional at the dealership said.

So I figured at that point it could go either way really.

This morning the car didn’t sound as bad, although that may have been wishful thinking on my part as it sure as hell didn’t sound good.

I had to work so my girlfriend took it to the shop, which won’t even be able to look at the car until late in the day, and contacted the dealership. This time they said they were 99% in agreement that they should at the very least share in any cost but they wanted to get the mechanic’s diagnosis before agreeing to anything specific.

So now we sit and wait.

And hope.

12 days after purchasing our car the brakes started making loud noises. We never got around to taking advantage of the free inspection because the place they offer the inspection with was fully booked during the 2-day money-back guarantee. The 30-day warranty was essentially a drive-train warranty which by rights doesn’t include brakes but we’re going to contact them to see if they’re willing to do anything.

Like after the Xindi attacked Earth and Enterprise had to alter its mission to save Earth, the economic downturn has cut a swath across some beloved businesses and my vacation must take on a new mission to save them.

Now granted I don’t expect to make quite the impact Enterprise did but imagine if Enterprise had a fleet of shuttles backing it up…might not have made a huge difference but it couldn’t have hurt.

The Colbert Report alerted me to the following article:
http://www.usnews.com/mobile/blogs/flowchart/2009/2/6/15-companies-that-might-not-survive-2009.html

Now there are some areas I agree with under the concept of creative destruction, or trimming the fat if you will. Claire’s, Chrysler, Dollar, Station, Loehmann’s, Sbarro, Blockbuster, Sirius, Trump, and BearingPoint can all go under with my blessing. They seem poorly run, not adapting to the changing markets and customer needs. From their ashes more efficient companies can emerge – its capitalist evolution.

However there are 3 companies that deserve to be saved.

From the article…
“Six Flags. (SIX; about 30,000 employees; stock down 84%). This theme-park operator has been losing money for several years, and selling off properties to try to pay down debt and get back into the black. But the ride may end prematurely. Moody’s expects cash flow to be negative in 2009, and if consumers aren’t spending during the peak summer season, that could imperil the company’s ability to pay debts coming due later this year and in 2010.”

Six Flags factors into all of my vacation planning. Marine World was the source of many fond memories of my Anaheim roadtrip. They cannot be allowed to fail.

From the article…
“Krispy Kreme. (KKD; about 4,000 employees; stock down 50%). The donuts might be good, but Krispy Kreme overestimated Americans’ appetite - and that’s saying something. This chain over expanded during the donut heyday of the 1990s - taking on a lot of debt - and now requires high volumes to meet expenses and interest payments. The company has cut costs and closed underperforming stores, but still hasn’t earned an operating profit in three years. And now that consumers are cutting back on everything, such improvements may fail to offset top-line declines, leading Krispy Kreme to seek some kind of relief from lenders over the next year.”

I love Krispy Kreme. Quite frankly they make the best donuts in the world. If they fold the world will have lost something very special. I want my son to grow up in a world with Krispy Kreme.

From the article…
“Landry’s Restaurants. (LNY; about 17,000 employees; stock down 66%). This restaurant chain, which operates Chart House, Rainforest Café, and other eateries, needs $400 million in new financing to finalize a buyout deal dating to last June. If lenders come through, the company should have enough cash to ride out the recession. But at least two banks have already balked, leading to downgrades of the company’s debt and the prospect of a cash-flow crunch.”

I admit when there was a Rainforest Café in my city it was great at first but quickly seemed to be an inefficient business model and promptly folded once the locals got tired of the gimmick. But last November I rediscovered the Rainforest Café care of their location in the MGM Grand. They’ve become much leaner than they used to be and now as a family man I can really appreciate their unique offerings. I want my son to grow up in a world with the Rainforest Café too.

…thus far is included somewhere in the updated board below – can you guess what it is?

Easy
Interpol – PDA
Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Modest Mouse – Float On
Nirvana – Drain You (x2)
Nirvana – Polly
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon

Medium
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
Nirvana – Polly
Billy Idol – White Wedding

So two of my roadtrip videos on YouTube have been muted due to copyright issues with WMG.

1×03 Camping uses a Hootie & The Blowfish song and 2×01 Apples uses a Depeche Mode song and WMG felt they needed to intervene concerning my unauthorized amateur not-for-profit use of parts of their music.

Adding a few songs to the list of songs I’ve got 100% playing on drums…

Easy
Interpol – PDA
Nirvana – Drain You (x2)
Nirvana – Polly
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
Go-Go’s – We Got The Beat
L7 – Pretend We’re Dead
Modest Mouse – Float On

Medium
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
Nirvana – Polly

I checked my American cash the other day and it turns out I had nearly $400 left over from Vegas. I was hoping for a little over $100 so that’s a clear win.

Speaking of Vegas, the primary objective is to eat at the Rainforest Café (whether the kid comes along or not…or Jon for that matter).

Secondary objectives include the usual suspects:
-Shopping at the Premium Outlets (particularly Kenneth Cole)
-Discount shopping at Ross (particularly work clothes for my partner)
-Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory
-A visit to the Space Needle (and perhaps rides, if open)
-A far too filling meal at Izzy’s
-A box of Krispy Kreme Dounuts
-A box of Jones Soda Pure Cane Sugar Berry Lemonade

If a grandparent or two decide to have the kid over for a sleepover while we skip town, The Science Fiction Museum will be added as a primary mission objective.

Our car has a retracting radio antenna so, alas, no Jack ball. We can still eat there if it is so desired but without the Jack ball or a western burger, what would be the point? Maybe I’m just sad over Jack’s coma.

Stop the presses! We have acquired a new mission objective.

Orange You Glad For Change

Orange (you glad for change) Soda will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine.

So looking in detail it appears that the Rainforest Café is in a mall; a mall which also has a Cheesecake Factory. It is also near SeaTac which would require a wee bit more driving but accommodations tend to get much cheaper near SeaTac.

Here’s one possible plan. We hit the Ross at Bellis Fair on our way to the Premium Outlets. After shopping we make a bee-line to check in at the yet-to-be-determined hotel. Then we go for dinner at the Rainforest Café. A Volcano will be had. The next day we go to the Space Needle with a sort of brunch at The Cheesecake Factory and maybe a stop at the Market (I would like to check out the used book store and I’m sure we’d all get a kick out of the collectable store). We go to Izzy’s for dinner and stop at Krispy Kreme in Burlington (or Delta) and Cost Cutters in Blaine (for Jones Soda) on the way home.

As Peter would say, it’s bulletproof.

If the kid ends up having different plans we replace the Space Needle with the Science Fiction Museum and Bob’s your uncle.

Assuming there are no objections, suggestions, or thoughts concerning the plan the next step would be to find accommodations. I wonder if I could somehow pull a rabbit out of my hat and find a place with an indoor pool at a reasonable price. I wouldn’t hold my breath on that.

So another election is upon us however for me this is not just any old election. Granted no two are the same but for me the provincial is a different beast. For one thing I’ve had the highest level of involvement and probably still know many of the key players – as well some people who worked with me are likely curious if I plan on returning.

Municipally I just do my one day of work and get the heck out. Federally I’m an RA for the revision period and then do my one day of work and get the heck out. Provincially I was essentially the assistant office manager – I jumped a pay grade on my first shift and half way through the contract they were already having discussions with me about grooming me for future positions. And they’re a nice group to work with – that cannot be discounted particularly given my recent less than stellar experience on the federal level.

But the timing could be better. April I work 3 days per week at my day job, and in May that goes up to 4 days a week.

We could use the money though – having just bought a TV, blu-ray player, hard drive, and car in the last 2 months alone.

My day job is also having quite the shakeup with my boss and my boss’s boss both going on maternity leave in the coming months.

It would be moonlighting though – I can’t make the time commitment they would need from an office manager and the office staff pay grades are less than I make at my day job.

The application deadline is March 8th. I had a chat with Lyndon today and as we talked the more I thought that I should at least apply, I can always turn down an offer.

Time for an update of songs I’ve hit 100% on playing the drums…

Easy
Nirvana – Drain You (x2)
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
Interpol - PDA
Nirvana – Polly (first try)

Medium
Jimmy Eat World – The Middle (first try)
Nirvana – Polly (first try)

Today there was a shooting within a couple blocks of my son’s daycare.

Frankly that’s reason enough to justify my belief that non-police, non-military citizens should not be allowed to own guns. I don’t care about trampling the rights of hunters or collectors. The right to shoot animals or revere guns is trumped by my son’s right to live.

I don’t care what arguments you may have about responsible gun ownership – this minority is opening the door to rampant tragedy. It’s the exception that justifies the law and it just protects the right to kill, cause damage, or increase the risk of same. Guns produce nothing constructive in the hands of private citizens. If we outlaw private gun ownership we can shut down every currently legal way to buy, import, or own guns and ammunition and then have blanket laws and border lockdown on them, whatever gets them off the streets. Gun buybacks should be a regular occurrence so there’s no excuse not to conform to the law – hell, throw in amnesty for non-violent crime as part of the buyback.

I have e-mailed my mayor, MLA, and MP and asked what they are doing and will do to combat gun violence. Their answers will be quite interesting I think.

I believe I’ve found my election issue for the provincial election on May 12th. Unfortunately I don’t believe the candidates in my riding have been selected yet – the NDP incumbent isn’t running.

Who I vote for, donate money to, and perhaps even volunteer for will pivot on this issue.

Is there an anti-gun advocacy group I can join?

Update: The Mayor is calling for a new metropolitan police force. Carole James is criticizing the new provincial budget for no new funding for police programs.

Update: Vancouver MP Ujjal Dosanjh was five blocks away and raced to the scene. “This is completely out of control,” Dosanjh said. “Whatever we are doing now to stop gangs is not working.” He said all levels of government need to rethink policy, come together and figure out a non-partisan solution.

It became unavoidably apparent during the near-record-breaking snowfall of December that the time would soon come to buy a new(er) car.*

Now years ago, I’m talking somewhere between Nov ’98 and Aug ’01, I made a promise to read ‘Don’t Get Taken Every Time’ cover-to-cover before attempting to buy a car. I’m big on keeping promises, even when I can’t remember exactly who I made the promise to. So it went on my shopping list but I never really got around to picking it up. I had mentioned the tome to Jon and he immediately went out and bought it so I just waited for him to finish reading it and then he was going to lend it to me, thus saving the $17.50 + GST cost of the book. So I was off to a good start.

Jon finished reading the book and brought it over on his last trip to the mainland. I slowly began reading it.

Then the car seemed to develop a serious problem, so I read faster.

Then the problem went away, so I went back to casual reading.

Then the problem came back and refused to go away – we had to officially take the car off the roads.

So on Monday I sat my ass down in front of the computer and finished the book in a day while making notes and searching online.

Now as fantastic as the book is, you need to keep in mind that it is written from an American perspective talking about American laws and American experiences with American businesses. I was however able to find the Canadian equivalent of one of the websites the book recommends: www.canadatrader.com

Using that website I began my search. I recommend an advanced search with a distance of 10km from your postal code because if you do end up with a lemon, you’re not going to want to try and figure out how to get it back to the dealership over 10 km away. And for me that included listings for Vancouver, Burnaby, and Richmond which was about as far as I was willing to go. If you don’t find anything acceptable within that radius you can begin to work your way out. The advanced search feature is very useful as you can set the year, price, and other ranges for your search. In my case I was searching for a 1995 model or newer between $1,000 and $3,000. Anything less than $1,000 is likely to be a parts car and $2,000 pre-tax price was my upward limit but setting the upper range to $3,000 gave me an idea of what was a good market value locally. It doesn’t hurt to look at car appraisers online (so long as you don’t have to provide your e-mail to get the quote) but many are based in the US or Ontario and each province has its own market and regulations.

So my searches kept bringing me to the same dealership website: www.jjmotorcars.com

I identified 3 cars that seemed to fit my needs and budget: a 1998 Elantra, a 1997 Cirrus, and a 1995 Century. I printed the listings for each car and did numerous searches to find out the features, reliability, fuel efficiency, and reviews for each car. They all seemed to have the essential things we were looking for.

I also googled the hell out of J.J. Motor Cars. I found one complaint about not being allowed to test drive a vehicle and one talking about some AirCare issue but I had to dig pretty deep to find those and they didn’t seem particularly current or trustworthy (one of them was someone complaining on craigslist for example). So I found the search to be reassuring because they were so few negative comments plus it helped me identify two issues to ask about on the lot just to be safe.

I also checked J.J. Motor Cars’ Better Business Bureau rating which is an ‘A’, the second highest rating the BBB gives. They weren’t certified by the BBB but the rating spoke volumes on its own.

By this point I was very confident that J.J. Motor Cars would have my next vehicle but I was prepared to walk away if anything looked the slightest bit fishy.

On Saturday I went to another random lot just to see what kind of selection and pricing was available – the random lot did not impress me at all.

On Sunday with our license plates in my partner’s purse we went down to J. J. Motor Cars.

I admit I don’t know much about cars. You point at a parking lot full of cars and say something about “the Mustang” and “the Saab” it’s going to take me a while to figure out just what car you’re talking about so when the guy we were dealing with pointed out an entire lot including prices and deficiencies I was quickly left behind, but thankfully my partner had this part well in hand.

A quick note about those deficiencies, as near as we can tell they were very upfront about every vehicle’s problems, if any. The Elantra for example was missing a transmission and the Cirrus had been sold and the Century sold while we were looking at the car we ultimately ended up buying.

Now their secondary lot is in a secure underground facility the entrance to which makes you wonder if you just stumbled into a horror movie but everything was fine and really that’s how places keep prices low – not spending the big bucks to make the place look pretty. But they’re very accommodating about driving the vehicle up and letting you poke all over it, even asking the salesman to start it and switch back and forth between neutral, drive, and reverse so we could hear and watch the transmission in action listening for any problems – just like the book told us to.

So after we had pretty much decided on a 1998 Taurus at the high end of our price range we remembered the first rule of buying a car, as mentioned in the book, never buy on your first trip. We told the salesperson we were going to go for lunch and think it over, his entire face collapsed and we knew we had him. I said “I never make a major purchase on an empty stomach” and we went down the block to the DQ for lunch and to place a couple calls to get second and third opinions on the deal. Everyone we spoke to agreed that it was a good but reasonable deal – so we weren’t being taken but also it wasn’t too good to be true and likely having a hidden problem.

The great thing about this place is the security offered in their warranties. You get two warranties, one is a 2-day money back on the whole thing deal and the second warranty is a 30 day drive train warranty which the book will tell you is a very good warranty for a used car, not ideal but very reasonable. They also provide you a repair history and a free inspection. Now the book warns about free inspections or going to a dealer-recommended mechanic however with the 2 warranties this seems a redundant concern. As the book will tell you almost all serious problems with a used car will show up in the first 30 days.

So we went back after lunch and took it for a test drive. So much for the complaint I saw online about not being allowed to take a test drive – they offered! We checked the thing top to bottom for any signs of rust, there wasn’t so much as a hint. I sniffed the upholstery in different places with my rather sensitive nose and didn’t pick up a whiff of anything. After letting the car run we ran a finger inside the tailpipe, like the book says, and there was only a bit of water so no concern there.

So almost completely confident in the purchase, as confident as one can be really, we went into the office to ink the deal. Now as impressed as I was with J. J. Motor Cars they did try one trick, attempting to tack on a 2.5% surcharge for paying by credit card but one withering glance from me and that idea was quickly dropped. I didn’t even have to open my mouth – the going-for-lunch play had already laid the groundwork that we weren’t going to be taken. We were clearly willing to walk and he had already felt like he lost this sale once today, he wasn’t going to let it happen twice in one day. A bit of a psychological ploy on our part I admit but all’s fair in war and car sale negotiations – particularly when usually it’s the seller who’s completely empowered and the buyer who’s left guessing and confused. There was a document fee that was higher than I was originally willing to pay but the salesperson did explain that much of it comes from all the research they have to do on the vehicle’s history and that they provide to us. Was there a profit markup there? Certainly. Was it egregious? I don’t think so. They made some money off of us, as any good transaction should, but they didn’t take us. And to compensate for the fee they gave us essentially a free oil change.

We’re going back today for the free safety inspection. We don’t have to obviously and it’s going to be at the service centre of their choice so the information may be slightly suspect but we plan to drive the hell out of this car during the warranty periods – that will be the real test. Yesterday we drove it to the mall and then to Coquitlam and back and not so much as a hint of a problem.

Once the deal was inked and paid for we took the plates out of my partner’s purse and the guy realized he’d be dealing with seriously informed consumers. He was shocked. He honestly thought when we went for lunch that we were gone for good and even commented on how our poker faces were perfectly convincing. He never thought for a moment that we came with the idea of driving something off the lot. I think he was a little annoyed with himself for not being able to see through us. Then we were able to have some laughs and trade some stories, we even told him about the book and my intense googling. It turns out all car salespersons have to be certified annually in BC, essentially taking a refresher course on everything from documentation to ethics and disclosure. That was obviously not mentioned in the book so clearly there are some buyer protections in BC that they lack in the US so do still read the book and do your research because while salesperson are required to pass the course, they aren’t required to believe it; but this tidbit can help you sleep a little easier on it.

Assuming this car has no major issues I definitely plan on making my next vehicle purchase at J.J. Motor Cars and would recommend you to do the same. I will of course provide updates on the car here on my blog in case any issues arise.

But things actually seem to have turned out a little better than we first thought. Once we got the thing home we discovered a 6-disc CD changer in the trunk (seems crazy to me but my partner insists it’s quite common). They never mentioned a CD player at all. In fact he pointed out the cassette player and radio but didn’t say anything about a CD player. I checked online, they don’t update the website in perfect real time, and found the listing for the car we just bought and sure enough it didn’t say anything about a CD player either!

So I daresay perhaps THEY were the ones who got taken this time.

-

*New(er) Car: A used car, newer than the current car, but completely new to us.

So yesterday I got my first 100% playing a song in Rock Band so I thought I’d keep track of the songs I have defeated perfectly…

Easy
Nirvana – Drain You (x2)
Panic At The Disco – Nine In The Afternoon
Interpol - PDA

It’s back! Here’s how the game works – go over your debit and credit card transactions and figure out just where in the hell your money is going. In today’s economy it’s a good idea not to take your eye off the ball for too long. (Cash is too hard to track so we’ll call it the margin of error – so all figures are +/- cash)

Rent, Daycare, and Medical: 59%
Groceries: 11%
Fast Food: 8%
Merchandise: 7%
Entertainment: 7%
Dining Out: 6%
Gifts & Fuel: 2%

Rent, Daycare, and Medical: This number is inflated due to our landlord requesting early payment for February but also mitigated by some previous overpayment on my part in previous months.

Groceries: It’s good that this is #2

Fast Food: Please don’t judge me too harshly - this includes my workday Subway lunch and Pizza for the family on Mondays for new episodes of 24.

Merchandise: This includes things like cabling, blu-ray discs, and whatever we get at Wal-mart (which includes some gifts, clothes, etc.)

Entertainment: Includes movies seen at a theatre, cable, and internet.

Dining Out: Went to La Spaghetteria a couple times.

Gifts & Fuel: I know, it’s a weird pairing but I had to collapse these two categories to be statistically significant.

Given that buying a newer car is in the offing I think I can make economies cutting back on dining out and maybe shifting some of my fast food spending to groceries where the money goes further.

I think I’m doing better than the last time I took the challenge back in June 2007. Back then Rent was 37%, Groceries only 5%, Fast Food a fat 14%, Merchandise nonexistent, Dining Out a fat 16% and gifts 5%.

How fare you?

James Darren is performing in Vegas May 22 & 23rd.

Staying at Imperial Palace for a week at that time would be $589 per person. Circus Circus or Sahara would be even cheaper.

Just sayin’

So I was poking around the internet when I stumbled upon some interesting information about Rock Band 3 – specifically 3 things I didn’t know before.

The Good – They are definitely making a Rock Band 3
The Bad – It won’t be released in 2009
The Maybe – They are currently looking at the possibility of adding a keyboard

Personally I think a keyboard would be fantastic – it would open the door to the likes of SynthPop and Elton John.

There’s a lot going on in the world of entertainment today. James Darren announced, very last minute, that he’s performing tomorrow at some old-age RV park in Arizona and that makes me rather sad – he should be packing lounges in Vegas but I don’t know the whole story behind it so I’ll try not to judge. A new episode of 24 airs tonight, the last of the pre-writer’s strike episodes. There’s a new episode of Big Bang Theory in which it is rumoured Rock Band will play a heavy role – will Sheldon challenge Wil Wheaton for the title of Best Rock Band Performer Ever? President Obama (still feels good and not just a little odd to say that) will be holding his first press conference. Depeche Mode also updated their website with some goodies about their new album, Songs of the Universe. And Love, Etc., the first single from the forthcoming Pet Shop Boys album Yes, got its first airplay in the UK today – I have yet to hear it.

With so much happening today it’s hard to decide what to focus on but there are a couple great discussions on the Pet Shop Boys fan page on Facebook that got the juices flowing. Two subjects particularly got my attention: What did you think of the album Release? And when and why did you become a fan? I’m tempted to do a retro album review of Release but for now I thought I’d discuss the evolution of my PSB fandom.

Most of Actually (their second album) peaked my interest in the late 80s when my sister and her boyfriend at the time would listen to it – particularly King’s Cross stood out to me as some unique and One More Chance was a fun way to start off an album. But it wasn’t until Behaviour in 1990 that caused me to become a real fan; it is still by far one of my favorite albums of all time of any genre. By the time Discography came out the next year I was practically a rabid fan. From ‘91 to ‘93 (ages 11 to 13) Pet Shop Boys probably made up about half of all the music I was listening too - I never got sick of any of it (save West End Girls which gets old fast). I had Discography on tape and I swear I listened to that thing so much on my walkman and stereo that I nearly wore the tape out. This largely motivated my drive to buy a CD player, the first piece of major electronics I ever bought myself.

The first CD I ever bought was Behaviour and to this day it is probably the most played of all my CDs. I would let the CD play for hours as I’d read (particularly The Siege, a DS9 novel by Peter David always reminds me of that album and vice versa); play video games, or just listen. I remember Please on CD being my favorite gift at my birthday party in Grade 8. By the time Very came out I had converted my whole family - Very didn’t leave the family CD player for months. I remember playing games like Final Fantasy 2 with my mom as we’d listen to Very. Later when Alternative came out we’d listen to that too, now playing Final Fantasy 3, but it being a collection of B-sides my family’s interest seemed to wane a bit.

By the time Bilingual came out I was listening to it by myself again, now while I spent time on the computer – Bilingual was good and signified a new period but it didn’t quite capture my interest to the obsession-inspiring degree Behaviour, Discography, and Very did.

When Nightlife came out I listened to it a few times but then it spent an unconscionable amount of time in a CD wallet, ignored. In later years I would rediscover it and find In Denial and Footsteps to be among my favorite songs ever.

I interrupted a date to buy Release, listened to it once or twice and forgot about it (and the girl!). A couple years later I went back and rediscovered such gems as London, The Samurai in autumn, and Love Is a Catastrophe – the latter two truly beautiful songs and London served as a bit of an inspiration, theme song, and driving force behind the Europe trip of 2005. Seriously, I would listen to that song as I prepared my pitch to get London added as a stop on that trip and as my mom will tell you it was the crowning jewel of the vacation.

With Fundamental I was back on the ground floor – I knew about it ahead of time, bought it the day it came out, and frankly absolutely loved all but one song. It really meant a lot to me to know that quality timeless music was still being produced somewhere in the sea of crap out there on the radio. Easily raising to the ranks of Behaviour and Very this is one of my favorite albums of all time.

With my hope for future quality music in the universe restored I planned an entire vacation around seeing the Pet Shop Boys live in concert for the first time ever on the Fundamental tour. If I had a bucket list, this was very high on it. The second the tickets went on sale I was there clicking away getting the best seats. A delightful (for the most part) train ride to Seattle and a stop at The Cheesecake Factory (and a dodgy hotel) brought us to the show, surrounded for the first time in my life by people who were as big a fan as I, some even bigger. The show was fantastic. In the league of Hootie & The Blowfish and Depeche Mode – although I still have to say Depeche Mode puts on the best show anywhere if only for Enjoy The Silence. But nevertheless what you get at a Pet Shop Boys concert you can’t find anywhere else – and I’m not just talking about the $130 USD I gladly, almost gleefully, spent at the Merch table.

So today a new chapter in the story opens.

I have a plan, I know what I’m doing, and the timing is and has been largely out of my hands for some time now. I told someone my plan today and it was so good it made them cry, someone I’ve never seen cry before, so try having a little faith in me and get out of my way.

I made a plan, tested it out, and it passed the test so kindly shut up about it. Allow for the possibility that I know what I’m doing and have a plan and if I need your help, I’ll ask.

And no, I will not tell you my plan – you are a bystander not a participant. As of right now I am the only participant and that needs to be respected. I’m taking back the driver’s seat and I don’t care who I have to kick out the car to do so.

In fact I will be floating fake plans just to keep you guessing. If you don’t have a role to play in the plan but you think you know what it is then you’re being lied to – probably by me.

Note: Does not apply to Burton or my mom – they seem to get it. Maybe a couple others. But they don’t know the plan either so don’t ask. Or hell, ask anyways it’ll just waste your time. If anyone asks you about the plan, refer them to this post. This post is not directed at any specific person; in fact it appears as though a whole army of people might benefit from reading this.

Talking to Jon today after attending a career fair (holy high school field trip Batman!) there seemed to be a general consensus of feeling that recreating the roadtrip of 2002 is a high priority target for future vacations.

Jon brought it up, it’s been in the back of my mind, and lord knows Mindi would love it. So let’s explore the feasibility, shall we?

First, a timeline.

Day 1 – Portland is simply too short a distance for a full day of driving at 5 hours. We’ve all been to Seattle a lot and I’m still hoping to get down there for a minibreak this spring and Portland, while pretty and friendly, has nothing to do. What about Redding? Nothing there but a waterpark and a Motel 6 but at nearly 12 hours distant it’d make efficient use of a full day of driving. With 2 drivers stamina hopefully won’t be an issue. We could stop at the Izzy’s in Everett or the Rainforest Café in Seattle for lunch along the way. We’d want to get an early start on the day though; a 10am departure would mean essentially a 10pm arrival. Nothing much to do in Redding but sleep in the Motel 6 anyways as the waterpark probably won’t be open the time of year a trip is likely to occur. And the thing is, the more driving distance covered in Day One, the more time in San Francisco.

Day 2 – Redding to San Francisco is a scant 3 hour drive. We could hit the 6 Flags in Vallejo along the way if we timed it right and were so inclined.

Day 3 – To spend a whole day in San Francisco or keep your eyes on the prize of Anaheim and keep the trip as short and cheap as possible? Let’s say a full day at the Dock of the Bay this time; we shorted ourselves hard on this last time.

Day 4 – San Francisco to Anaheim. That drive is a bitch despite only taking 6 hours – best to assign a whole day to this, maybe hit the Hard Rock at Universal for dinner but trying to do any more than that is likely foolish.

Day 5 – Disneyland and Universal Studios, in that order. Sound stupid or impossible? Not in September.

Day 6 – Knott’s Berry Farm / 6 Flags

Day 7 – Anaheim to Redding – without the stop in San Francisco this only takes 8 hours and passes through Sacramento (further on there’s a reason I mention this).

Day 8 – Redding to Vancouver, another marathon drive but we could hit the food option we didn’t hit on the way down.

So there you have it – Vancouver to San Francisco to Anaheim to Vancouver in 8 days. There’s some flexibility there too, if we only get 7 days we can cut the day in San Francisco or the Knott’s Berry Farm / 6 Flags day. If we combine 2 weekends with a week off and leave the Friday night we could do a LOT more.  Make it to Seattle or maybe even Portland that night and then have 11 days for the rest of the trip – could add another day in San Francisco or a day trip to San Diego plus a couple Studio Tour / TV Show Taping days in Burbank.

So what would be required to make it happen? 5 vacation days per person, a share of accommodations (but staying at places like Motel 6 is pretty cheap and if Josh comes we get double occupancy in both rooms), gas money (split 3 or 4 ways), spending money, and 7 to 11 days of consecutive babysitting (although perhaps broken up between varies parties *cough*grandparents?*cough*). Oh yea and a vehicle but given that both Jon and our short to mid-term plans include buying cars, one is bound to be roadtrip capable. Right? Well, worst case there’s always a rental.

Seriously though, done smart this could be done on the cheap fairly well.

This idea also passes one fairly critical road trip test: How many Hard Rock Cafés can you hit along the way? This trip would have 4, possibly 5 if time permits:
-Seattle
-San Francisco
-Hollywood
-Sacramento
-San Diego (possible)
Wait, hold on, Seattle? That can’t be right. There’s no Hard Rock Café in Seattle is there? This blogger’s surely lost his mind. Oh no my friends, a brand new Hard Rock Café is opening in Seattle this summer so if this trip were to take place in, say, September then it will be open. Like James Darren in Vegas is this a sign from the Prophets that this trip is pre-ordained? I wonder.

Oh, and the theme song for such a trip? How about Miracles by Pet Shop Boys.

“Bluer sky, a brighter day…miracles happen”

It’s a slow cooker, this one, but once it gets to a boil you’ll be laughing your butt off. It takes a little longer establishing the car than I would have liked but the latter two-thirds of the movie more than make up for a slow beginning. It’s actually much better than the previews make it look and the previews looked pretty good.

Keir O’Donnell does a fantastic job; particularly considering that his type of character has been done ad nauseam it really speaks to quality writing and performance that his character comes off as fresh and interesting.

Jayma Mays is some bizarre combination of Anna Faris and Winona Ryder (from Mr. Deeds particularly) that works but doesn’t really leave a lasting impression.

Don’t read the reviews; they’re all a bunch of hooey. People who watch movies for a living always seem to expect gold from every minute of film but they’re just a victim of their own unreasonable expectations. In you go in expecting a fun comedy then you’ll not only get what you came for but you’ll be pleasantly surprised several times.

Roger Ebert did make one great observation however. He awarded the film 3 stars for not having any adult-themed scenes and said, “it’s as slam-bang preposterous as any R-rated comedy you can name. It’s just that Paul Blart and the film’s other characters don’t feel the need to use the f-word as the building block of every sentence.” It didn’t really occur to me at the time – despite children sitting in the front row – that this really is a family film but one that doesn’t reek of it. This isn’t Disney, its family entertainment when family is defined in a broader sense than just for children. Happy Madison has really grown as a production company over the years and I increasingly am discovering their logo is a portent of quality entertainment (with some sadly notable exceptions).

Apparently Kevin James laughed off the idea of a sequel but given the film’s surprise success Sony is interested in making it happen so, go Sony!

My son seems to think I’m Simon from Prozzäk.