Grazing Rites

I was sent some interesting comments regarding my post the other day…I don’t necessarily argee with every part but I found it interesting.

“Boy do I ever know exactly what you’re talking about in this post.  My kid has been exposed to violence (a good parent must show his kid Transformers), but there’s a lot of talking that goes on and explanations of good over bad, etc.  However, I will never bring him around vagrancy.  There’s a bum that has asked me for change many times with or without my kid there and each time I tell him no.  One day while I was without my kid, I told him I wanted him to remember my face because I don’t want him near me while I’m with my kid and I certainly don’t want to fend off his begging when I’m trying to spend time with my child.  I almost felt bad about it afterward…almost…until I remembered that he’s there because he wants to be there and he likes the easy way out.  I have no sympathy or bleeding heart for vagrants, drug addicts, street hookers, etc.  I’ve also taken a liking to really despising smokers.  Every time someone asks me for a light or a smoke I always say something like, “No, I don’t do that filthy disgusting habit.  It sickens me”. Trying to get smokes off of someone is like a combination of two horrible parts in our society, begging vagrants and smokers.”

I can’t remember the last time I made my own plans. Probably because they weren’t that spectacular or memorable to begin with but nevertheless I think the lack of me time is affecting my judgment in subconscious, subtle ways. Like this computer I ordered recently - it wasn’t something I needed strictly speaking, I think it was an expression of a need to exercise some control in my life.

It just occurred to me yesterday.

Far too often, which is to say more than never, I’m reminded of a quote from ‘Chain Of Command, Part II’ (TNG). “When you teach a child to devalue someone, they can devalue anyone - including their parents.”

I sometimes see children in the areas of extreme poverty my daily commute takes me through. To expose a child to homelessness and drug addiction is monsterous. Even in passing. Thankfully the vast majority of these kids are just visitors but I still think it’s a problem. As an adult I find that life terrifying, I can’t imagine how a child would process the experience. I probably could but I do all I can to keep from thinking about it.

And before you start thinking this is all because I’m a parent now let me assure you these thoughts are not new to me.

Getting back to the quote, here’s the context. A torturer has just been visted by his daughter in the room where he conducts torture, the victim still present. The moment before the quote…

Picard: “I’m surprised that you’d let her come in here”

Madred: “Why?”

Picard: “To let a child be exposed to this…to someone who is injured and suffering”

In trying to get the quotes just right I stumbled upon a Social Psychology website that analyzed the scene. They had this to say…

“Madred was acting as if everything was normal, and she accepted that it was too. Now cognitive dissonance is at work: if someone I love and I can act normally with while this is going on, then it must be normal for it to occur, thus must have reason”

So it seems that I’m not the only one troubled by this. So let’s reformulate the above to these cicumstances.

Bringing a child into an environment of extreme poverty, homelessness, and drug addiction and behaving as if everything is normal teaches the child that this is a valid life choice and that nothing is wrong with the situation.

Now whether or not you agree with me that drug addition is inherently wrong or not I think everyone, including the homeless, can agree that extreme poverty and homelessness is wrong. Whether wrong as a choice or wrong as being permitted by society it’s still some kind of wrong. So parading your child through skid row can teach them very few things, none of them good.

Without a context they would likely infer that you’re okay with this existence as a life choice. But even with context - explaining why the people are there - you’re likely to scare the hell out of them, potentially in a life-altering way. Say what you will about the merits of scared straight but I’d like my child to be driven by his own goals, interests, and passions, not by some fear of ending up on the street.

In other words, no good can come of it. It is not okay and it is not a lesson, it’s simply sad and upsetting.

So this, in short, hopefully explains why there are some areas in the city I do not want to take my son. Frankly given the arguments presented I have trouble seeing how anyone could if given a choice.

Aquatica – SeaWorld’s Waterpark opened in March. Aquatica is the first new water park to open in Orlando in 12 years. It features 36 water slides; six rivers and lagoons. Guests are immersed with live animals in the park, including dolphins, macaws and colorful fish.

Busch Gardens Africa added two signature rides including a zip line experience with three different flight patterns and a ride launching guests above a towering waterfall.

Universal Studios Florida added a new ride, based on FOX’s blockbuster hit series, The Simpsons. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson–stars of TV’s longest running series–will ride along with guests in the new attraction, which takes them on a hysterical, almost unimaginable adventure. The ride will open during May.

Why do I sign up for newsletters?

When the primaries began CNN broke down who the candidates were and I used that as a jumped off point for expressing my thoughts. Now in a similarly formatted article they have begun to seriously delve into the potential running mates.

Before jumping in myself I must say I don’t agree with the emphasis being put on “balancing the ticket” and the idea that you automatically win the state your running mate is from. I understand the politics of it but I honestly don’t think Obama, and to a lesser extent McCain, would be primarily strategic in making their selection. There should be only one reason for selecting a running mate which was so eloquently said by the President on The West Wing, “Because I could die”. That said, let’s dive in.

Republicans

Bobby Jindal
Could they try to out-Obama, Obama? They’re talking about this kid much the same way people were talking about Obama before the last DNC convention. That said, no way in hell will McCain pick him because it completely invalidates the experience argument.

Mitt Romney
Much like Hillary on the other side, he went too damned far. There’s simply too much content out there of Romney saying bad things about McCain for there to be unity.

Charlie Crist
51, Bachelor, Governor of Florida with great hair? I think you’ve got a gay. I don’t have anything wrong with that, but the vast majority of your party does. Would be an interesting chain of events if he ran, they won, McCain died, and he took office and then came out of the closet. Bam, first gay president and while he couldn’t serve in the military he’d be the commander in chief.

Mike Huckabee
Done and done. They get along; I don’t see huge gulfs in their values or policies. Huckabee wins where McCain can’t and vice-versa. They both have a sense of humour and I don’t care what CNN says but that’s not a liability. They cite the Obama NRA thing as how it can be a problem but Huckabee is known for having a sense of humour so it was a one-day story. Look at Hillary who has a history of being divisive and not being funny, if she made such a joke it would stick because no one would believe it was a joke since she’s never made one before.

Condoleezza Rice
Yea, defeat the black person and the woman with a black woman! Would the democrats even need to run ads tying McCain to Bush? And how could she campaign when she’ll, God willing, be facing perjury and war crimes charges?

Tim Pawlenty
Who is this guy? His name sounds like a soup.

Joe Lieberman
Joe-mentum? Really? If the conservatives are upset with you now imagine what they’ll do to you if you join up with Loserman. Frankly I’m surprised McCain turns his back on this guy, unless he has a secret cure for knife-in-the-back.

Carly Fiorina
Wow, they found a woman not tied to the Bush administration. The only problem is she’s never held public office – as if such an idea isn’t ludicrous enough but she too would invalidate all experience attacks on Obama. Utter foolishness.

Mark Sanford
Okay, he once brought 2 pigs into the State House in Columbia to protest pork barrel spending so he’s got a sense of humour and lines up with McCain on that issue that few people believe in so he satisfies the “I could die” reasoning nicely. He’s a bit of a pretty boy and from a Carolina so if Edwards changes his mind about running with Obama he could counter that.

Bob Portman
He’s got economic experience which McCain desperately needs but he’s part of the Bush administration. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Conclusion
Anyone who thinks Condoleezza Rice or Carly Fiorina are serious contenders clearly doesn’t understand the situation. It’s Huckabee with Sanford a close second.

Democrats

Hillary Clinton
When I saw CNN put her name first I was annoyed but then I say what they had to say about her and immediately forgave them: “Clinton is one of the most divisive politicians in America”. As I’ve said numerous times before, she went too damned far. See what I said about Romney above, and then multiply that by ten hundred billion.

Wesley Clark
Please for the love of God seriously consider him, Mr. President. The writers of The West Wing predicted he would be pivotal in getting Clinton supporters to back Obama. I think they’re right but more importantly it counters Obama’s lack of service. I’ve been in favor of Wesley Clark for a long time, he doesn’t speak as passionately or as eloquently as Obama but I firmly think they believe in the same things and want to get there the same way. He definitely, in my opinion, fills the “because I could die” standard. CNN dares to ask “Does anyone remember his leadership in Kosovo?” Yes, I do and I’m Canadian so there’s got to be few Americans out there who also remember. Besides, I think they have a few months to remind everyone.

Sam Nunn
Why go with this guy for foreign policy experience when you can have Richardson? It just doesn’t make sense unless you feel you need an old white guy to reassure people you’re not crazy. He’s been out of politics since 1996 for God’s sake.

Ted Strickland
I see no substantial reason to have him except believing in the myth that he’ll deliver his state of Ohio.

Kathleen Sebelius
Wasn’t she the one who gave the DNC response to the State Of The Union? OMG no, please, for the love of God I’ll take Hillary making my ears bleed over her putting my entire family in a coma.

Jim Webb
Everyone keeps mentioning this guy, but who is he? He’s Ronald Reagan’s Secretary Of The Navy, that’s who. Kicks McCain in the teeth in more than a few areas but he’s been in the Senate for less time than Obama and has a tendency to say crazy things, like he didn’t want the job.

Mike Easley
He’s more of the myth that he’ll deliver his state; why else would anyone even consider someone who once polled to see if his electorate liked King of the Hill?

Chuck Hagel
He represents the end of the Republican Party as we know it, and I feel fine. He’s already giving McCain the beating of his life and for no other reason than he believes in what he’s saying. Oh, and he believes in Obama too. But he’s still a Republican, what if Obama get relieved under the 25th Amendment and this guy goes crazy on conservative issues?

Bill Richardson
There are 2 reasons not to do it and countless reasons to do it. The reasons against are Clinton supports still hating him and thinking he endorsed Obama for the spot and that they could be branded the diversity ticket. Other than those two issues, he’s fantastic. He’s charismatic, intelligent, experienced, and passes the “because I could die” test easily.

Ed Rendell
Yea, sure, you could pick a prominent Clinton supporter to unit the party, only problem is if memory serves he was a bit of a dick while campaigning for Clinton, I just don’t see it happening.

Conclusion
For me it’s a coin toss between Wesley Clark and Richardson. Hagel would be my third choice, Webb my fourth. Only if all those people said no would I then talk to Hillary. And what a dark day that would be.

This phrase once meant you had parents who didn’t understand technology and refused to listen to you when buying a new PC and you’d be stuck with an underpowered, overpriced computer that couldn’t be upgraded and came bloated with pre-loaded software no one ever used. But times are changing.

I knew I said I’d never do it but once PC World rated Dell as having the fastest sub-$1,000 PC I knew it was time to re-evaluate my stance. So I have placed an order for a new PC, I would have waited longer but the deadline for getting an XP system was looming. So here’s a breakdown of my upcoming upgrades…

Old Processor: AMD Sempron 3100+ 1.8 GHz
New Processor: Intel Pentium Dual Core 2.2 GHz

Old RAM: 1.5 GB DDR1 at 200 MHz
New RAM: 2 GB DDR2 at 667 MHz

Old Video Card: 256MB AGP Radeon All-In-Wonder 9600
New Video Card: 256MB PCI-e Radeon HD 2600 XT

Old HDD: 200 GB ATA
New HDD: 250 GB SATA

To translate, the 4 core components are all upgrading to superior technology. My old processor was single-core, my new one will be dual-core. My old RAM was DDR1, the new will be DDR2. My old video card was AGP; the new one will be PCI-e. And my old hard drive was ATA; my new one will be SATA. Why is this noteworthy? Well I’ve been through many computers over the years but I’ve never had so many fundamental upgrades at once. ATA for example has been the standard since 1986. So this won’t just represent a huge improvement in performance but it will make future upgrades possible as I had run into a bit of a brick wall with the limits of the aging technologies of yore.

So Hillary has said she could take her fight for the nomination all the way to the convention. Even the insane Geraldine Ferraro has accepted that Hillary has lost, she’s already begun talking about the effect of Hillary’s campaign on the next serious female running for president, whoever that may be.

So I’m on the bus watching The Big Bang Theory on my wicked awesome new PDA when the guy next to me starts to look over my shoulder. I’ve gotten pretty used to this and, yes, I rather enjoy the attention. Anyway he makes a face and takes out his ghetto iPod that doesn’t play video and cranks up the volume and begins to mouth the words to whatever it is he’s listening to.

Then he begins to headbang. People look at him as if he were insane.

Driving people mad, I am.

Note: This entry was delayed to allow for yesterday’s response post.

So night before last I had a dream about going to Orlando with Jon. We stayed at the same hotel I was at last year. We went to Wet N Wild and SeaWorld and I somehow ended up under the tracks of The Kraken. Then we went to a flea market and bought N-Gages which we were told we could hack to make them compatible with the Wii. The vendor offered to throw in some ice cream to sweeten the deal but stiffed us on the ice cream in the end.

So it would appear my subconscious is as obsessed with vacations as my conscious mind, although it is much more creative. I mean come on, N-Gages? How obscure a reference is that? I debated including a link to the Wikipedia article just so people would know what the hell I’m talking about.

Anyway as with my recent Treasure Island dream I thought to check the numbers. The Days Inn doesn’t have a rate calendar so I just checked dates 30 days before my birthday and 60 days after. The cheapest was 5 nights, Sunday September 21 to Friday 26, $612 Canadian per person including taxes and fees.

Is this what I’ve been reduced to, imaginary vacations?

Wow, it was really just a hypothetical question I was throwing out there; I didn’t expect such a strong response.

First I want to clarify that I’m not saying I’m depressed on the whole or that there aren’t things that I enjoy or make me happy. For example I had the chance to see Ironman over the long weekend which I appreciate – it was enjoyable and entertaining, I just don’t know if ‘fun’ is the right word to describe it. Perhaps we all have different definitions of the word. I was thinking in the Amusement Park, Water Park, Laser Tag, Travelling sense of the word, perhaps ‘exciting’ would have been a better fit. Although you can have negative exciting experiences also so that wouldn’t be a perfect descriptor either.

Also people seem to be interpreting this as being about going on vacation, which given recent posts I can see where you might get that idea but really it’s just a general sense of ennui. Yes, a vacation would probably fix me up nicely but a lack of vacation isn’t the sole cause. I guess I’ve been feeling a lack of control the last few weeks. My schedule has been almost completely dictated by others for the last few weeks, for both good and ill, and I guess I was just feeling a lack of control. Now if you’re having fun a lack of control doesn’t really matter but when both are somewhat absent, well, life sucks.

In response to my mom…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the trips I’ve had, particularly last September.

I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy Niagara Falls, I thought the falls were pretty and the trip was fun overall, I just had a bad case of jet lag when we landed that made me moody and impatient, but don’t let that one thing colour your impression of the trip. It was a major factor in me going back to Toronto in 2003.

I’m not ruling out the possibility of taking the family along on any potential vacation, I’m just concerned that my son would be happier at home than being dragged somewhere by car or plane. If perhaps we were a larger group, with you or Louis and Megumi for example we could have the flexibility to keep him entertained more.

I don’t know that my son needs defending just because I’m feeling a little down, but I do take comfort in the fact that so many people care about him and have his best interests at heart.

To be clear I wasn’t posting about this as some sort of passive aggressive attempt to guilt or shame people into bending over backwards to send me on vacation, I was just talking about my feelings. Not that I don’t appreciate any offer or efforts towards that end, I just don’t want anyone feeling as though they HAVE to.

If you’re willing to look after him for 5 days or so that’s something we can talk about, nothing needs to be set in stone yet, I just don’t want you feeling as if it’s something you have to do. That goes for anyone else thinking along these lines.

I’m not mad or offended and believe me I think I understand the reality of the situation all too well. Just don’t confuse understanding with being happy about it; if I was ignorant of my responsibilities then I wouldn’t be feeling this way. Even if I were to go on vacation, say with Jon, I’d probably end up feeling incredibly guilty. Heck, I took a day trip to Seattle with Sam once and felt like crap almost the entire time because my family wanted to come along but couldn’t. That’s a big part of the problem, even if I blew off my responsibilities I’d be guilt ridden and that wouldn’t improve things. I’m no stranger to responsibility, but the prospect of going years without so much as a week off is somewhat daunting, to put it mildly.

Other people take vacations, what did I do to deserve exclusion? All I’ve done is be responsible and caring. Sure I could do more around the house, but who can’t? If I didn’t work hard, I’d understand. If I was bad at managing my money, I’d understand. But I do work hard and I manage my money well. I’m not extravagant; I tend to lead a minimalist existence. I don’t treat myself very often and even when I do like getting the Wii last year or a new PDA this year it’s benefitted my family as well – Mindi plays the Wii and got my old PDA. I don’t go out drinking, I come home every night straight from work and if I make a stop along the way it’s to get reasonably priced groceries for my family. At times I feel like I’ve flown more straight and narrow and been more responsible than most people but seem to be denied things those people get to enjoy. It just doesn’t seem fair. I’m not blaming anyone, I just don’t see the problem with talking about it and acknowledging it – it might make the whole acceptance thing a little easier.

And again, I am grateful for the vacations I’ve had: Orlando, Toronto, Europe, Las Vegas, Edmonton, and Anaheim. Maybe that’s the problem - I had such a crap-load of fun in Orlando, Las Vegas, and on road trips that I’m somewhat haunted by the experience and depressed by the thought that those days may be gone.

In response to Jon…

You officially pay more attention to my blog than I do. Not that I mind, but you broke this story long before I got wind of it.

I think that an occasional break from responsibilities makes one a better provider, in terms of patience, attitude, and sanity if nothing else.

I do envy your opportunities to travel; that said I have almost zero interest in Asia. Maybe when I’m older I’ll be more into it.

Oh I frequently underestimate my kid’s resilience, only now am I learning to just assume he’ll be fine more often like when he falls down or has a cold. Damned if WebMD and that Nurseline didn’t almost send us to the hospital again over a common cold not too long ago. WebMD was screaming to take him to the hospital ASAP as were books on the subject and certain articles on Wikipedia, we waited and took him to his doctor who said he was fine, just had a common cold, didn’t need any medicine or monitoring or tests or anything. He also told us to stay away from Wikipedia for medial matters; I think this officially makes me Barclay. I think a lot of these so-called expert sources are responsible for a lot of the paranoia prevalent in parents nowadays. Plus the media, one bad thing happens to one kid in incredibly rare circumstances and suddenly ‘Doctor’ Phil is saying “tune in for something EVERY PARENT MUST KNOW”. And in the end it turns out you apparently need to talk to your 4 year old about being a whore or how pillows are trying to rape your adult child.

I hate ‘Doctor’ Phil.

But I digress.

As for communicating, I don’t think my son quite grasps the concept of a phone just yet.

All that having been said if something here lights a fire under you to arrange a vacation for us, ignore whatever it is I’ve said that might calm you down. Remember what Troi said in ‘Decent’ (TNG), “feeling angry about an injustice could lead someone to take a positive action to correct it.”

I don’t know if I’d elevate dim vacation prospects to the level of injustice but if it gets you going who am I to argue?

Have you ever felt like it’s been so long since you had some real fun that you’d have trouble recognizing it?

Last night I had a rather involved dream about going to Treasure Island in Las Vegas. It even included an absent waiter who instead of bringing the bill got me a fish. Anyways, it seemed like a lot of fun in dreamland so I thought I’d take a look at reality.

Checking the rate calendar the cheapest time to go before December would be $635.78 Canadian per person including all taxes and fees for 4 nights Sunday November 23 to Thursday November 27.

Sigh.

Only Robert Downy Jr could sell this role. I think anyone else would have come off as unforgivably arrogant or, worse, a characature. But it wouldn’t be fair to say he carried the film as it was very well written. I particularly liked how the relationship with his assistant was handed, except for the silly name they avoided all of the stereotypes and cliches. Stan Lee’s cameo was priceless.

Overall it’s a fun film that you don’t have to shut your mind off to enjoy.

I spent a good portion of the other day looking into computer options. Dell seems to be the only place selling XP PCs but that’s alright as they were top rated by PC World recently. It’s not so much a question of where or what but when and what options. This isn’t the best time for me financially, what with having bought my new wicked awesome PDA recently.

There is a deadline looming though, Microsoft won’t let retailers sell XP after June 30th and by all accounts Vista is something to skip. It seems the drive behind Vista was security but the drive behind Windows 7 is efficiency - using less power and memory specifically.

I was walking to the bus stop today when I saw a red taxi. It caught my eye because you don’t see many red taxis, they tend to be yellow, black, white, or some combination thereof. I think there’s a taxi company in Richmond with red taxis. ‘It probably mostly serves the airport’ I thought to myself.

I thought ‘I could throw up my arm right now, take that to the airport and fly some place for the weekend. I have the means. Heck, I’ve got a 50-50 chance of no one at work noticing. And it has been said that I’m not spontaneous enough. But that wouldn’t be fair to my family’

Then I noticed it’s light wasn’t on anyways.

So my West Virginia disappointment didn’t last long, Edwards endorsed Obama yesterday. According to some sources if Edwards’ delegates follow his lead Obama only needs 25 more delegates to win this thing. It will be nice when this is over, instead of rampant speculation over when Obama will win we can move on to rampant running mate speculation.

I hear that Webb said he wouldn’t do it so with Edwards also out I think that makes Richardson a very strong possibility. Although I can’t help but wonder if Edwards could pursue his anti-poverty initiative from the Vice President’s office. Listening to his endorsement speech I think he’d make a strong candidate in 2016.

I have to admit I wish Obama had contested this state a little. I understand he’s got bigger fish to fry, it’s just that no one likes to see their guy get beat by 41 points. I know in a week he’ll have this thing sewn up, I just dislike this thing dragging out so long - I think it’s time to consider a mercy killing.

So my plan today was to take the day off work, sleep in, relax, do a few things around the house, clean, vacuum, and make a nice dinner for my family. Well it turns out the kid isn’t completely well and has taken to screaming whenever he feels bad so I’ve been up more or less since 3:30am and haven’t done much but feel like crap all day.

So with Mindi getting the okay to head back to work blog entries shall now resume. We’re probably still going to look into a more ergonomic keyboard though.

You may have noticed a lack of blog entries of late, there’s a variety of reasons behind the slowdown but primarily because my partner has hurt her wrist and I’m trying to encourage her to limit her computer time. But some of you may be curious what’s going on so I’ll try to give you a roundup (in no particular order).

2 more primaries tomorrow, I plan to take a half day to watch.

I finally got around to opening the kid’s RESP and my mom set up a trust fund. Interest rates have dropped though. Set up beneficiary info, now I just need to get a will.

I finally ordered a new PDA; I’m expecting it to be delivered tomorrow.

I’ve been fighting off a bit of a cold, as has the kid, but it hasn’t been too bad.

I’ve been pretty depressed about the lack of vacation options. Not quite ready to upgrade ‘depressed’ to ‘obsessed’ but I’m getting there for some reason. I guess I just feel like I need a break – it feels like I’m working at work and I’m working at home.

It’s the kid’s birthday party this weekend; we just realized we only have 1 pair of shorts for him so we’re hoping to get more. Also looking forward to seeing people we haven’t in awhile.

Jon might be in town for my birthday but vacation plans have been pushed back, possibly until next year.

Mindi’s friend recently moved in to town and has been spending a fair bit of time visiting.

My ban from The Huffington Post seems to be sticking, still no response to my inquiry.

Obama won Guam, but only by 7 votes so the delegates were split. His campaigning the last few days has seemed more focused.

Playoff predictions: Pittsburg over Philadelphia, Detroit over Dallas. Detroit wins the cup; my friend Sam becomes very happy.

Some news about the 24 TV movie next fall, it takes place in Africa.

The last few episodes of Doctor Who were pretty awesome; it’s shaping up to be quite a season.

Work’s gotten busier, I’ve had to cover some shifts minding the store but we’re reaching a stride now with the new team.