Grazing Rites

Fantastic.

What? You want more detail than that? Alright, if I must.

Tom Hanks, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Julia Roberts are all outstanding. While the film doesn’t provide a wide range of dramatic opportunities they are all stellar within the bounds of the film.

It’s hilarious, educational, philosophical, thought provoking, and has a strong and relevant message.

Republicans and Conservatives claim the film a propaganda piece claiming the Regan administration gave arms to Osama Bin Laden. Now had Osama, Regan, or even a Republican been referenced in the film there may have been merit to this but there isn’t.

It’s a story about an imperfect man trying to correct what he sees as an injustice, succeeding at first but left out in the cold when the time came to follow-up.

Alan Sorkin is if not at the top of his game then very close to it.

Hmmm, I suppose I should try to say something negative about the film…hmmm…well, I found the directing uninspired. Not bad or flawed, just uninspired.

So there you have it, now go see it.

I said now.

A friend called the other day asking for my review of the latest Doctor Who Christmas Special. Looking at my recent blog entries I notice 2 movie reviews and a follow-up to one of them. I guess I’m becoming a reviewer. Works for me.

As with most things there is a continuum, I would place Voyage Of The Damned above The Runaway Bride but below The Christmas Invasion. The Runaway Bride just had such a ridiculous villain it lost a lot of points. The Sycorax and Satsumas with a new Doctor though? That’ll be hard to ever outdo.

I liked Kylie although it really didn’t look like her at points. She had a very Rose look about her which I honestly thought they would develop into a theme, particularly the visual similarities to their final moments with the Doctor.

The Graske-looking guy was cute and funny, and the midshipman was nice. The professor who kept getting Earth details wrong was a lot of fun and made the Christmas theme almost palatable but I didn’t really feel a connection or affinity for any of the other characters. The villain however was probably the best of the Christmas specials thus far. The married couple seemed to come prepackaged.

Some aspects of the story seemed a little awkward; I got the distinct impression the end of the previous episode was written with no clear plan. Thankfully the effect of this was somewhat marginal.

Best line: “Only Britain’s Great“.

I have mixed feelings about the 80s-rock theme. I’m fairly certain I don’t like the change, hopefully it won’t be permanent.

Now the countdown to Torchwood begins.

The movie seems to have gotten pretty universal praise so I went to Rotten Tomatoes to share my opinion and someone there enlightened me to a new trend in literature where, so help me, description is more important than plot. There seems to be this mentality that you either like it or you don’t get it. It’s very self-supporting elitism - if you’re not with them you’re just unintelligent, uninformed, or lacking culture.

I would like to go on record as being against this new trend. Some of the worst books I’ve ever read valued description over plot and as far as I’m concerned no matter how masterfully you describe something it will never cover up the lack of a good, coherent, or complete idea.

I think it an important component of intellectual honesty to identify bias in advance of statements that may be influenced by said bias. For that reason I feel I should mention the experience surrounding this movie was not a happy one for me. As part of my Christmas gift my partner watched the kid so I could have an evening out with my friend. I contacted my friend in advance to get an idea when he would be available.

We didn’t meet up until 3 and a half hours later than planned resulting in a cancellation of our original plans but we thought we’d see a movie instead. My friend brought a friend of his who I had not met before. This fellow was intractable and inflexible essentially forcing us to watch this movie because in his eyes the Coen brothers, whom none of us were very familiar with beyond Fargo including the man singing their praises, could do no wrong.

Oh, I beg to differ. I’m not saying the movie was without merit but it did fail to accomplish some basic requirements of story telling and movie making.

Failure 1: Establish the Car

My friend and I, ironically the same one I saw the movie with, used to do improv. In one endowment game you pick up a series of hitchhikers and hilarity ensues. But if you don’t clearly establish the set as a car the scene won’t work as the audience spends the whole time figuring out just what the hell is going on to enjoy the nuances of your performance. This can be done with pantomime, props, or if you’re uncreative, exposition.

This movie fails to establish the car in significant ways. Most notably it’s not clearly stated that it takes place in 1980 until someone dies about 90% of the way through the movie. Prior to this the boxy cars, clothes, lack of cell phones, and low motel room prices just serve as a distraction. Had the timeframe been established I would be commenting on the quality and accuracy of the atmosphere but having not established the car properly it was a nuisance, not a nuance.

The characters, their roles and relationships, are not clearly established either. Not so much when it comes to spouses and partners but very much so everywhere else. If I don’t know who a guy is, what he does, or anything about his relationship to other characters, if any, I have trouble giving a damn and getting into the movie. You spend so much time trying to gather clues from the minutia you can’t enjoy the meat and potatoes of the movie.

(I don’t think I will even be able to write the word ‘potato’ without thinking of Dan Quayle. It’s been 15 years and yet it persists. The preceding has been the definition of digression)

Failure 2: Ending

I’m not so rooted in form to think every story needs a beginning, middle, and end or in that order. You can have 2 beginnings, no middle, and 3 endings for all I care. Hell, one of my favorite novels begins with The End; but to have no ending at all? The movie just randomly ends in the middle of a story. The bad guy’s still at large, some folks are dead, other folks may or may not be dead, and there seems to be no point to any of it.

I would love to force Mr. Pompous-That-Was-Not-Satisfying from I Am Legend to sit through this dog.

Failure 3: Under-utilization and Marginalization of Tommy Lee Jones

You take Tommy Lee Jones’ character out of this movie and nothing changes. If anything the plot becomes more cohesive and tightens up. He gives his usual great performance but he’s given criminally little to work with and a character that has no relevance to the central plot of the movie. He does nothing but slowly chase the bad guy, always several steps behind, never getting particularly close or accomplishing anything but making fun of his deputy. Yes, I understand his character was relevant to the overall theme and title of the movie but it was such an insulting footnote of a role that I would have much more gladly watched him in a remake of Smokey and the Bandit.

These 3 failures were personified when my friend repeatedly fell asleep and was snoring loudly and not a single person in the theatre minded. Frankly it added some much needed levity to the whole thing and I doubt a soul would blame him for taking the easy way out on this one.

Now as I said the movie was not completely without merit. The two main characters and their contests of wills and intelligence were fascinating to watch, however the final encounter between these characters is never shown! It builds and builds and then nothing. It was a missed opportunity to have the final encounter between these two very interesting, original, and well-performed characters. Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin given wonderful nuanced performances but are denied a climax. Woody Harrelson does a great job as well but his character has less screen time than Tommy Lee Jones but has infinitely more relevance. I like Woody but we need to acknowledge there is a continuum of acting ability and he falls far behind Tommy Lee Jones and it is painful to see Woody given so much more to do and more relevance. Steven Root is always a joy to see, but his character isn’t even given a name! So help me he is listed as “Man Who Hires Wells”

Perhaps if I had read the novel, a synopsis, or even a movie poster I would have understood and appreciated the film more but you can’t expect your audience to do that, nor should they have to. The fact is as a filmmaker you are telling a story and I think I’ve clearly outlined how they failed to do so and in turn failed seasoned actors and what seems like a great story. Now this is based on a novel, a work of fiction and apparently the movie adheres to the book faithfully. I had hoped that perhaps it was based on a true story and that might mitigate the problems I have with the film as perhaps it was adhere to actual events and life doesn’t play out like a good movie but no, that excuse is not present.

Despite my criticisms the film is intelligent and interesting, it delves into issues of morality, chance, free will, and responsibility quite well but the failures provide such a distraction and detraction from all that it truly is a shame.

I’m not certain exactly who is to blame for where this movie goes wrong but whoever’s fault it is this movie can be summed up in one sentence: A poorly executed set of missed opportunities held up but not completely saved by some good performances.

In defiance of logic the film has received numerous positive reviews and award nominations which I contend, except for the actor’s performances, is undeserved. I think it a case of so many reviewers and awards people seeing so many movies that anything stylistically unique or different is a joy to them that it catches their attention; but just because something is different or fresh does not make it good or worthy. A fart can be both different and fresh but it should not be confused with a breath of fresh air.

After several colds and a rather noteworthy night of misfortune my mom offered to have my son overnight so we might catch up on some lost sleep. My girlfriend wanted to go shopping but I had yet to fully recover from my cold so we compromised and saw a movie. I figured sitting and being entertained shouldn’t be too strenuous an activity.

I had done a little research into the film prior to that day so I had some idea what I was getting into. I read a synopsis of the book and read the wiki article on the 2 previous attempts at adapting the work to film. I was very curious, since I first saw the trailer in fact, how they would end it. It seemed a very difficult challenge. How do you give the last man on Earth a happy ending?

Will Smith does his usual professional and very human and identifiable best; although I think Oscar comments are going a little far.

Spoilers follow.

After the film we overheard a rather pompous fellow comment, repeatedly, how he found the movie “unsatisfying”. I wouldn’t go that far although I found the ending a little uncreative let’s say. They had written themselves into an interesting problem but then just kind of short-circuited the whole thing. All of a sudden there are other survivors and a colony?

Robert Neville’s disbelief mirrored my own.

Why wouldn’t they have replied to his message? Or sent out messages of their own?

And they left a huge thread unaddressed regarding the trap the infected set. When it happened my jaw dropped. Neville had said all signs of human behavior were gone but I daresay setting traps with bait and cars is a uniquely human behavior. At the time I thought the movie was about to get much more interesting as Neville investigates this new behavior.

At that point I saw 2 potential outcomes: either the infected had begun to evolve into a planning, problem-solving community that was working together or this was a sign that they were naturally adapting to the disease such that they’d recover naturally given time. Either way a fascinating moral dilemma would have ensued.

If they were becoming a society the moral question posed by the book would have been relevant: if you’re the last man on Earth are you the cure or the disease? If they were recovering on their own how do you accept the morality of having spent 3 years experimenting on them and subsequently killing them?

But oh no, this totally aberrant behavior seems to have been nothing more than a plot device to kill his dog.

Or how about the fact that they had a leader? The would seem to indicate some organization, although pack animals have alpha males so I can see why this wasn’t pursued.

It just seems like sloppy writing. It somewhat reminds me of all the flaws in the Jem’Hadar seen in specific DS9 episodes that were never picked up again and conveniently solved the episode’s problem.

Now despite my minor bellyaching the film did a lot of things right like not explicitly tying the infected to vampires or zombies. For example the vinegar may have been to throw them off the scent or it could have been like garlic - it works either way and so the movie wisely chooses not to address this in exposition.

Apparently a sequel is being considered but without Will Smith would it stand a chance?

If I had written this movie I would have had Neville survive and make it to the colony. Find out they knew he was alive and what he was doing the whole time praying he was their salvation, or legend if you prefer. End of movie. Then a sequel could pick up on one of those threads I mentioned, like the infected followed him to the colony and he discovers they do have an emergent society and they see him as the devil.

The sequel would then redefine the legend and provide some interesting moral issues. But alas it is not to be, not as such anyways.

So a few days ago we had a surprise birthday party for my mom. My Aunt and cousins did a fantastic job pulling it off with my son as the bait. Ostensibly it was to be a few people meeting the baby for tea. Right, like babies (or me for that matter) know anything about tea. Anyways what was going to be a small gathering for baby became a large gathering for my mom.

We were considering starting a betting pool as to when she’d clue in but it never got off the ground.

I had some interesting conversations with my extended family covering a wide range of subjects from facebook to management philosophies to evolution. A couple noteworthy digressions included John Rawl’s theory of the Veil of Ignorance and the Scientific Method. I always feel like I learn something whenever this group gets together.

This is the kind of thing my mom lives for. Well, aside from my son that is. So I’d just like to take a moment to say thanks to my Aunt and Cousins for pulling it off and another early Happy Birthday to my mom.

You may have noticed a significant slowdown of new content here over the last 3 months or so, there are 3 main reasons for this.

In preparation for the Orlando trip I flashed the ROM on my PDA and subsequently discovered new functionality and programs that help pass time on the bus. This time had become the primary time I would write entries.

Second is Conquest which keeps me off the computer quite a bit more than usual.

And thirdly I’ve been pretty sick on-and-off for the last couple weeks. Plus I’ve covered a wide variety of topics in my nearly 500 entries - I’m not saying the well’s dried up but I’m not pushing myself to maintain a post a day lest the quality suffer for quantity and you end up reading poorly written entries about the minutia of my day-to-day life.

My expectations going in to this game were mixed. It was cheaper than Legacy and way cheaper than Tactical Assault and I knew in advance there were no multiplayer or diplomacy options. However it did sound like it would incorporate some aspects of Birth Of The Federation (BOTF), by far the best and most addicting game of all time. In the end while I found myself wishing for more I was by no means disappointed.

At first I tried Skirmish Mode to get a feel for what I was getting into. It made me long for Encounters as it was very similar but with both advantages and drawbacks.

Selecting targets with the Wiimote is much easier than using a targeting slice but flying the ship with the nunchuk isn’t quite as good. No special power-ups a loss but a fleet of multiple ships a gain. Fewer ships to choose from but more races. Putting everything on a single plain of elevation and removing friendly fire are both wins in my opinion. Some might say it takes a strategic aspect away but I believe it just makes it more fun.

After Skirmish I was not particularly optimistic. Boy was I wrong. I admit I wish it had a random map feature to increase replayability but the more I play the more combinations I can think of within the allotted settings.

The strategic aspect on the galactic map is like a simplified version of BOTF. You can only build one non-military installation in each system for either credits or researching upgrades and special weapons - in a way this is a blessing as there aren’t so many details to manage like feeding your population.

Minor races are a mixed bag. I always like to see the Xindi and the Orions were a pleasant surprise but they’re really just window dressing. Whatever minor race you eliminate doesn’t really make any difference. It’s like buying property in Monopoly except it rarely costs anything. The Ferengi, Xindi, Orions, and Borg aren’t any harder to defeat than any other.

I was initially discouraged by the Admiral idea but it actually works out to make some pretty dynamic strategy. Personally I’m fond of the movement Admiral but that was how I enjoyed playing BOTF: quick, efficient expansion. I have yet to find an appreciation for the attack and defense admirals.

The genesis and system freeze special weapons are good, the virus emitter useless, the healing and system link breaking devices helpful in rare and specific situations. I have yet to put the wormhole generator to effective use.

Each race has it’s unique personality.

The Federation is well-balanced with a scientific edge and their ships can hang in a firefight a long time. The characters their Admirals are based on are not noteworthy although I do enjoy seeing Tucker Smallwood if not hearing him. The voice work gets old fast. If I hear “this is for Earth!” one more time…

The Klingons’ cheap Bird Of Prey can make them a little frustrating to play against, the lack of a movement Admiral makes them a slight challenge to play as. Martok makes an appearance.

The Romulans are the most frustrating to play as for a variety of reasons, they should have a cloaking edge but don’t. Their special weapons are largely useless except in some rare strategic situations. Given their weak ships, relative cost, and lack of movement admiral they take a long time to defeat the Klingons. Their admirals are familiar at least.

The Breen get the Funniest Race award for their Admiral Thot Rong (say it out loud…it never gets old). They are comparable to the Dominion except their ships cost more but they’re more centrally located.

The Cardassians with their 2 movement Admirals are quickly becoming my favorite. Their voice work is the worst in terms of writing - they perpetually give damage reports that don’t reflect reality. Dukat and Damar appear.

The Dominion adheres well to the impressive shipbuilding of the series. Weyoun as movement Admiral is sometimes all you need. The other admirals confuse me, one of the voices is a dead ringer for Keevan but he isn’t in the game. And don’t get me started on the female voice who makes a passable Vorta when there are no female Vortas in the game!

The upgrades can be a critical component but sometimes are useless. Repair rate for example. Some have a very limited application like Admiral cost. Hull strength upgrades are probably my favorite, shield and weapon upgrades a close second, mining efficiency can be helpful and turn rate rarely useful. The rest I could do without.

The game tends to lag during arcade battles with numerous ships and stations and/or graphically intense backgrounds. This is a blessing as the extra time helps you keep track of all the goings on. And games have lagged since Super Mario Bros.

A far more disturbing issue is the rare freezing of the Wii necessitating removing the power cord (only the eject button remains functional). Thus far it’s only happened to me 3 times; given that I’ve played over 20 full campaigns I suppose that’s not bad but it is jarring. That means it happens in about 12% of campaigns. Efforts to identify a potential cause have met with mixed results.

The first 2 times it happened I had been playing for nearly 4 hours and some thin cardboard was leaning up against the side of the Wii. The third time it happened is most distressing as I had only been playing for less than 15 minutes and the Wii was completely free of obstructions. All 3 times were during an arcade battle but I’ve heard of it happening at the pre-battle screen as well.

I have noticed a disc access occurring mid-battle which makes no sense to me, the environment should be loaded. Why access the disc needlessly during the most graphically intense part of gameplay?

Overall Conquest is a great amount of fun for a very reasonable price.

I’ve been pretty concerned that some people may misunderstand my meaning in some parts of the previous entry. Hopefully I can clear up a few issues.

Firstly, the problem that has prohibited us from getting our DLs isn’t a lack of knowledge. I passed YD with flying colours and my girlfriend knows how to drive. The two hurdles have been 1) having a vehicle to test on and 2) not being able to afford a car even if we had a DL. So it’s really been a matter of access, money, and motivation. It’s like credit: you need credit to get credit but where do you start? My girlfriend’s taking steps to address this.

Secondly, it was not my intent to call anyone out over what happened. I’m not trying to cast anyone as the bad guy, hense my repeated mentioning that I didn’t have the whole story. I’m sorry I was unclear about that. I was sick, medicated, worried, and exhausted when I was writing it. I was stuck at home and there was nothing else I could do but try and stay calm so I was just putting what I was thinking and feeling in my blog rather than panic but due to the circumstance I clearly wasn’t expressing myself very well.

And to clarify the story about Calvin; that turned out to be a big misunderstanding that we cleared up years later, I was just using it as an example and didn’t tell the whole story. The main reason I didn’t call Calvin was because I was 95% certain he was in Vegas. Turns out I was right. If anything the subtext to what I was saying was meant to be regret over the fact that we’re not as close as we used to be. We’ve been through some rough patches and I’d think that moving thing was a relatively minor one. That I didn’t feel comfortable calling him on a long shot is my failing, not his.

And just to re-iterate: I was not trying to blame anyone or make anyone feel bad or guilty about what happened. It was unfortunate but this isn’t about pointing fingers. Some people who didn’t know it was happening and due to circumstances beyond their control wouldn’t have been able to help anyways seem to be feeling some degree of guilt over it. While I appreciate the caring and empathy there’s no logic behind feeling guilty about something over which you had no control or knowledge.

Anyways, I really do apologize for any misunderstanding and hurt feelings I may have unintentionally caused.

Frankly I’m surprised so many people still read this thing! If I thought I still had an audience I probably would’ve taken more care. I need to remind myself that this isn’t exactly a diary tucked under my bed.

It’s 1:38am. My partner and son are stranded at a hospital 3.5 km away, it’s pouring rain and only 6 degrees above freezing. We’re all sick. All the cab companies are so busy because it’s a Saturday night that they’re all giving busy signals - not even allowing one to wait in a queue. Burton’s in Hawaii (although I remembered this AFTER I texted him, sorry Burton). Warren and Sam aren’t answering their phones but they’re probably asleep. Jon’s on the east coast.

My partner’s family was nice enough to drive her TO the hospital but now that she’s stuck there, stranded, crying, with a sick baby they’re not answering their phones. Yes, we said she’d call a cab to get home; neither of us expected this problem, but putting aside the questions of transportation if your grandson was taken to hospital, would you turn off the phone?

Maybe they’re annoyed. They DO do alot for us and we try to show our appreciation as much as possible without becoming an annoyance but perhaps we’ve asked for just one too many favours.

I was all ready to bundle up, grab the stroller (as my partner only took the car seat not foreseeing this development what with being concerned about her first born and all), the rain cover, 2 umbrellas, and begin the 3.5 km trek to my family so that we could begin the 3.5 km trek back home. Web MD seems to think I have Bronchitis but nevertheless I’m willing to do this for my family. But just then I get the call, my partner’s finally found someone who can help her. Someone in Port Coquitlam.

It will likely take over an hour for her to get home. The baby keeps coughing and waking himself up, crying uncontrollably. Even the hospital was unable to help get a cab. The entire emergency room has been staring at my sick, crying, abandoned family for all this time and my family will have to suffer this embarrassment for a good time longer it would seem. How much worse off in our colds will all three of us be for this? I hope not at all.

Frankly my fear, anger, and adrenaline at this near-hopeless situation has banished all my symptoms for the time being. I cannot afford the luxury of illness until my family is back home, safe and sound.

Who is to blame for this turn of events? My partner for listening to the demands of the nurseline? My son for daring to have a cough with daily projectile vomit? Burton for going on vacation? Warren and Sam for choosing to turn off their phones so they can sleep? My partner’s brother who usually turns his phone off at night and has no knowledge of the situation? My mother who, distraught of the whole thing, is only able to offer advice? Me for staying home? How do I prevent this from occurring again?

I can find no fault in any of those people.

Here’s where I DO find fault.

Now granted there may exist a side of this story I have not heard but as things stand now I think several failures made this possible.

• The Taxi companies for not having a decent telephone queuing system is pretty high on the list as it would have prevented much of the anguish.
• Me for not going with my family and not thinking to get them to take the stroller and rain gear despite there being no clear reason to do so at the time.
• The nurseline for being so insistent we take the kid in (turns out he just has a cold and should see his regular doctor if things don’t improve in a week - why would the nurseline come up with such a different answer than the ER?), it’s not the first time they’ve done that to us either.
• A couple of grandparents who choose to either turn off or ignore their phone when they knew their grandson was in the hospital.

My feelings on this last point…I simply cannot find the words to express myself. I’m not saying we expect theirs or anyone else’s help. We generally plan pretty well for the worst-case-scenario.

Again, I don’t know their half of the story. Perhaps my partner’s younger sister was on the phone the whole time and didn’t hear the Call Waiting. Perhaps the phone was accidentally knocked off the hook. Perhaps they too were sick and took such strong medication it knocked them out into a deep sleep. Perhaps their house was on fire.

And if it was something we did, some line we crossed, so offense unintentionally leveled, some faux pas, some mistake or insult or poor choice of words resulting in hurt feelings all I can do is ask that the sins of the parent(s) not be visited upon the son. I’m not saying by virtue of having one sweet, innocent, adorable little boy that we should get off the hook for anything but when it comes to him and his suffering, as judging by the screams I hear over the phone now nearly 4 hours past his bedtime he clearly is, we should at least be able to be adults about the whole thing.

I’ve said it hundreds of times if not more, in the absence of actual information the human mind will conjure up the worst thing imaginable. Right now I’m missing part of the story but as things stand right now, with the holidays and season of giving and brotherhood upon us, I am having a great deal of difficulty seeing this story having a happy ending.

For future reference, if something such as this should happen again God forbid, who among you (with a vehicle) should I consider calling? I did give thought to calling Calvin, Patti, Aleta, relatives I hadn’t spoken to in years, some of my staff, even my current and former coworkers and boss if you can believe that but clearly I need to understand boundaries and willingness to help a bit more. So please leave a comment or contact me privately if you would be willing to help, or at least receive a frantic call from a panicked and worried father, at 1:30am.

Likewise if you would like to make sure I do NOT contact you in such a circumstance please also let me know. I swear I will take no offense nor will I be upset in any way. In fact I would be happy to have some clearly established boundaries as I would hate to annoy someone or presume too much. You may think I type that sarcastically but I mean it. The long list of moral dilemmas I faced tonight added alot of stress to the experience.

For example I thought of calling Calvin but he lives so far away and I’m not even 100% sure he was in town. But then I thought back to when I asked him to help me move and his reply was a blunt “I’m not interested in that” it made me think that asking would both get me nowhere and only serve to damage our friendship. At the time of my moving I was quite upset by his response but in retrospect I’m thankful for it - it established some clear boundaries. So rather than stepping on toes later please speak up now.

Frankly I’ve felt so lost tonight I could use any information I can get my hands on. We were alone, stuck in a crappy situation, and the only people either by choice, design, circumstance, or dumb luck, that were there for us were my Mom and my partner’s friend. And don’t get me wrong, we’re intensely grateful for the support we have - this night would have been impossible to get through without a nervous breakdown and some pneumonia without their help.

It’s now 2:15am. I just got a message. It’s going to take them even longer to get home than we thought. It has now been well over an hour that she has been subjected to the stares and embarassment of waiting in the ER upset, with a sick and upset baby, unable to get a ride home.

It’s 2:54am, they’ve finally arrived home. Poor baby is miserable.

It is now 3:33am, we still can’t get the baby to sleep.

It’s 3:45am. He’s finally asleep. My girlfriend’s so tired it looks like she has 2 black eyes. She really needs a good night’s sleep.

Please remove Star Trek: Conquest from my list, I will be getting a free copy for moderating the official message boards.

This list is far from complete but it may help some folks out there…

Ridiculously Expensive ($150+)
Camcorder
iPAQ
Laptop
New Computer (with PCI-E graphics card port and SATA hard drive)
Trip to Vegas…or just about anywhere
TV (at least 26’’)

Reasonable ($25-$150)
Dress Pants Size 32×30 (no blue please)
Dress Shirt Size 15 33/34 (no button down collars please)
DVDs (see below)
Flat-Front (unpleated) Khakis Size 32×30 (no blue please)
PC World Magazine Subscription
Playhouse / TheatreSports Tickets
Red Steel (Wii)
Rockport Dress Shoes (size 8 Wide)
Scene It
Sweater (V neck, no stripes)
Wii Classic Controller
Wii Controller
WiiPlay

Ridiculously Inexpensive (Under $25)
American Gift Card Sent to New Voyages in My Name (http://www.newvoyages.com)
Babysitting
Black Dress Socks (Gold Toe and/or Macgregor brand)
Dave Gahan CD
Jockey Briefs (medium)
Pet Shop Boys – PopArt CDs
Pet Shop Boys: It Couldn’t Happen Here (The Pet Shop Boys Film)
Slim camera case of Sony Cybershot
Star Trek Conquest (PS2)
Wii Points

Don’t forget Gift Receipts, just in case

DVDs
24 (Season 5 & 6)
Bridget Jones’ Diary
Clerks 1 & 2
Doctor Who (2005 and after - region 1)
Family Guy Volume 5
Hustle (TV series)
Sarah Jane Adventures
Sex & the City (Seasons 4 and 6 Part Two)
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Seasons 4-7)
Star Trek: The Animated Series
Star Trek: The Next Generation (All Seasons
Star Trek: The Original Series Re-mastered (HD-DVD/DVD combo – All Seasons)
Star Trek: Voyager (Seasons 2-3, 5-7)
The West Wing (All Seasons)
Torchwood

Please Do NOT Buy

Anything with a stripe across the chest
Fragrance
Fullscreen DVDs (except TV shows of course)
Hats
Jeans
Star Trek Books (have them all)
Ties (don’t wear them, have tons)
T-Shirts (have more than I can store)
White Socks (have years worth)

Here’s an update…

So here I am in Halifax, doing team training so important that they fly 37 people across the country to do, and they decide to schedule me in for another fitness test.  I get there and do almost exactly what I did before, except the people on this coast were a lot nicer.  I quit the running portion right away, as I normally do, and the guy looks at me funny.  I say, “I’m getting out, what do I care for?”  He laughs and says “Fair enough.  Let’s do the rest of your test while these people are running.”  So while everyone else was running, I did the rest of the test.  He asks “should I put zero and zero for your push-ups and sit-ups?”  I say, “no, I’ll do at least 5 and 5.”  After my 5th pushup, I push myself up to stand up and he says “ooooh, 6 pushups!” and we both laugh, then he goes “Don’t bother with the sit-ups, I’ll just write down 5 and you can continue on with your day.”

Afterwards, realizing that I can still make it to work before the start of training (which started late that day), I raced to my room, got into uniform, and headed over to work.  I made it 10 min. before the start.

At lunch that day I sat down with one of my co-workers, Brian, and some other people sat down asking me how the test went.  I laughed and Brian says to them, “He probably put more effort into getting back to work than he did on the whole test.”  I laughed harder because it was true, and then explained the whole story to him.

The rest of the week went off without a hitch thanks in some part to my performance all week.  We passed our assessments on Thursday (a day early) with very high marks, and of course, went out to celebrate out success.  At the bar, my boss comes up to me and says, “Shop talk for 1 min.  Do you want to come to the gulf?” (And yes, that’s the Persian Gulf)  I think about it for a second and say “yeah, sure.”  Why did I say that?  Well no matter how I feel about the military and the whole system in general, I’m a professional and a patriot and I do want to contribute as much as I can before I get out.  So he says to me, “Well I’m going to see if I can’t make something happen, because without filling your head too much, we want you, the ship wants you, you’re the smartest guy we have.”

Well my head can barely fit through a door now and I’ve been given a couple of nicknames, Google Ops (because I seem to know everything), and Hot Mike (but that’s a story for another time)

Tight finances and poor weather mean staying at home as much as you can get away with. I’ve never particularly minded that but I’ve always had my own place where I was master of the universe, like that oft-referenced Depeche Mode song. This time however presents some unique challenges. It’s not just living with someone, it’s not just a small space, it’s not just the baby or the more-than-usually limited funds.

It’s all of those things and more, such as lack of sleep and noncritical snow related injuries, that add up to make me, well, stupid. A little dose of SAD doesn’t help either. I’m finding myself more easily tired, decreased appetite, less patience, and getting frustrated over things both valid and imbecilic. Today news outlets were warning of possible turbidity issues with drinking water in the near future which would just increase the strain.

I guess some patience and perhaps accepting an earlier bed time would be good first steps in addressing the situation. Maintaining some contact with the outside world might help with keeping some perspective as well. Good thing I got the kitchen table and chairs effectively adding another habitable room useful for reading, feeding the kid, and unobtrusive midnight snacks plus I think it gives the illusion of creating space.

I think in terms of entertainment we’re as well stocked as ever. I can always download a game or two for the Wii if we get bored. I guess the writer’s strike doesn’t really help the situation either

As well it probably doesn’t help that a big part of my plan for holiday gift giving just fell through.

I just need to keep reminding myself that things could be worse, I could be in school.