My Left Foot
So I’m riding the bus home from work today when a scuzzy looking guy grabs my left foot.
“Sorry” he says when I pull my foot away violently in shock and glare at him askance.
Sorry? Did he somehow accidentally grab my foot? Did he perhaps think it was some kind of handrail on the ground? Did he mistake my Florshiems for some object one would want to grab? Did it look like a quarter or a dollar? They did come with a wallet but that wallet was at home. Was he going to hold my shoe ransom were he able to acquire it?
Does he not have sufficient motor control to stop his hand from reaching down and grabbing someone’s foot? Granted I know very little of neurological diseases but I tend to think of our brains very much like computers: when something is wrong it’s far more likely not to work at all rather than act strangely in complicated and complex ways. It’s takes a great degree of motor control to grab someone’s shoe when they don’t want you to, I daresay it could even be a challenge.
He didn’t seem to exhibit any other strange behaviour though.
I did here about that fellow stateside who tapped his foot in a bathroom somehow soliciting gay sex but I had been seated for a few stops before this fellow got on the bus. I assure you I did not at any time tap my foot despite the music I was listening to. I’m just not much of a foot tapper and perhaps that’s for the best.
Actually I retract my earlier statement about no other strange behaviour. As I write this liquid started to come out his nose and he felt his hand, the one that had previously grabbed my foot, was the best place to put it.
Ever see the movie Outbreak?
Ever feel like you’re sitting next to the monkey?
For the record this fellow has gray salt-n-pepper hair and a beard. Caucasian wearing a black hat and a black Wilson hoodie with blue jeans and dirty white and black sneakers. He had a large black backpack and got off at Main @ 33rd. Good hunting pathologists. Maybe Dustin Hoffman could play me in the movie.
My foot feels warm. Probably psychosomatic.
