Moving?
Note: This entry was written some time ago, many of the issues herein have since been addressed.
My girlfriend mentioned to me the other day that she wants to move. When we viewed the place I was the only one who noticed the lack of a living room and that seems to be the reason she wants to move.
I had also expressed concern over the lack of nearby services but she told me they were very close; a couple days ago a trip to the grocery store left her in tears. I also expressed concern over a lack of a bath but she assured me she’d find a way to make it work. She seemed very keen on living here so I relented.
It’s not like I was against the place per se, I just had serious reservations about certain issues. I do like the place and our landlords are awesome, they were a big part of what sold me on the place. I just think it sucks to have the issues I brought up come back to haunt me.
I am beginning to understand why some guys operate unilaterally. Had I done so on this issue we might not have to be considering moving when we have neither time nor money. And I had promised Burton I wouldn’t be moving again for awhile, well over a year at least. Now 8 months later I might have to break that promise because someone else made a decision. Wonderful.
Do you ever get the feeling you’re on someone else’s out-of-control roller coaster?
I hate breaking my word and letting people down but I seem to have no choice in the matter lately.
I got this bombshell shortly after waking up to a, at minimum, 10 hour work day. Clearly I didn’t have enough to do or worry about.
I spent most of my weekend of freedom cleaning our place and making room, not even a week later I’m essentially told it wasn’t good enough and thus the entire effort was largely a waste.
A month or two ago she wanted to give my boxes, several never used, which cost me $60 away for free to a stranger on the Internet. In fact she had already promised them when I got wind of it but since they were my property I felt almost no guilt in making her go back on her word.
It’s almost like she’s trying to make this more of a challenge. I know she doesn’t mean to but it’s hard to interpret trying to give away all our boxes and then move as anything else.
Maybe I wouldn’t be so upset if I felt I had a vote. It’s not that I don’t have a say in most things, it just seems like everyone’s formed an opinion on this matter and has felt the need to inform me of it. Instead of being told what’s what by people (including those who haven’t seen the place!) it would be nice to be asked.
I always believed that to make a relationship work you needed to compromise. I always figured if you cared about someone you’d do what you can to make them happy. It seems that strategy does not work as I’m getting kicked in junk here. I suppose I should have just done my own thing and had faith in the 285th rule, “No good deed ever goes unpunished“.
I wanted to find an apartment in the suburbs not a basement suite in the city. The market was very sparse at the time and I somewhat doubt it has gotten any better though.
I probably shouldn’t be talking about this on my blog but she was looking after her sister shortly after telling me. Hopefully I phrased that right as I’m not allowed to call it ‘babysitting’.
I can’t even use certain words to describe certain activities! Maybe the jerks have it right. Put your foot down, to hell with compromise, and only think of yourself. It’d probably result in lots of arguments but I’m wondering what the lesser of those two evils would be at this point.
Maybe nice guys really do finish last.
August 21st, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Well, as to the moving point, I just want to say that since I was a parent who had to look at this decision regularly, and as “I hate moving” and always have, have made those choices purely on what my kids needed. It always cost more, never less or the same, but space was needed, and since I wanted to do the best I could for my kids, I made it work. It wasn’t easy, but in the long run, I think they were generally happy with most of the places we ended up in. Selfishness never entered into the picture, as I readily gave up my large bedroom to a son who convinced me ‘he needed it more’. So, all I can say, is you’re not breaking a promise because life is full of unexpected changes that will cause you to alter a decision, for the sake of the well-being of your family.
August 21st, 2007 at 6:13 pm
One further note, as to convenience for me, shall I state how I would travel on a bus over to Kerrisdale, from South Burnaby, just to keep employed, earning enough income to pay for the convenience of living close to a mall with a bus terminal for my son to have reasonable access to work, college, and then university?