Day Two
This was one for the books. Usual stuff for the most part, Security guys being dicks after close and the like.
Then came the PM parade. I showed up a few moments late after letting someone in my former department vent their frustrations to me to discover no one there. I got a call informing me the parade was running 15 minutes late due to the concert running late so I caught some of the Flying Canucks to pass the time. They’re pretty good. Getting the city ready to properly appreciate some Olympic events we’ll be hosting.
I laid the groundwork for our area and the team showed and we got ready. Moments before the parade my boss and I felt a couple drops of rain.
“Bring it on” I said.
“I dare you to rain” she said to the sky.
Foolish mortals.
The parade and the rain began at the same time. The rain got progressively heavier. I was in a short sleeve thin broadcloth dress shirt, new shoes, and new pants. The rest of the team had vests and jackets. Not I.
So what does pneumonia feel like? How would I know if I had it?
Well if I were to contract it, then in the performance of my duties is the way to go.
A parade person came up to me and informed me of a patio umbrella at the edge of the beer garden that was swaying dangerously close to the floats.
“An umbrella you say? I’m all over it!”
The shaft of the umbrella had broken and some genius thought packaging tape, and not very much of it, would hold it. I was happy to stand under it and keep it steady.
My boss saw the shelter I had ‘discovered’ and motioned that she would join me. A large and long float passed between us as a security guy came to take the umbrella away as it was a danger to public safety.
“It’s broken” I said, pointing to where the pole had snapped.
“Yea, but they taped it” said the security guy.
“It’s wood” I explained “a little bit of tape often isn’t sufficient to fix wood, especially when baring a load with wind and rain”
He took the umbrella away and disappeared before the float had passed. Once it did I looked at my boss, water pouring down my entire body, and shrugged. She started laughing so hard I nearly called First Aid.
Once the parade passed we ran to clean up. I had two dry spots on my wine-coloured shirt, directly under my enormous ears. Pants were somewhat dry from the bottom of the thigh down by virtue of being in the ’shadow’ of the rest of my body and being the resident of a rainforest that I am I know how to adjust my posture to assure minimum exposure. But other than that I was drenched.
My boss wanted to take my picture so we headed back to the office. Along the way I decided to surprise some former coworkers. I went up to a booth of my old department and saw that I knew both people there and they were looking down at a document. I slammed my hands down on the counter. They jumped up and back.
“For the love of GOD take me back!” I yelled.
The started laughing really hard and asked “what happened to you?” between giggles.
“The parade! The God damned parade!” I yelled in my best crazy person voice and left to get my picture taken.
A normal person would probably have been annoyed or embarrassed. Not me. I actually kind of enjoyed it. It was hilarious.
One day, many years from now perhaps at a retirement or 30 years of service party this picture will find it’s way on to a large screen. We’ll have a good laugh and I’ll think back with nostalgia and pride.
It’s moments like these that make up a life.
