BO And Pride
2 guys got on the bus the other day. One sat next to me and the smell was overpowering. It felt like the temperature went up by 9 degrees. I’d never encountered a smell that was so bad it seemed to raise the temperature of the place, that was weird. And it’s not like the guy was radiating heat or anything, this was like someone threw a switch and suddenly I was in Fiji.
Well, Fiji during a garbage strike maybe.
He sat next to me for one stop and then moved to the other side of the bus. Someone else took his seat and the ambient temperature dropped 5 degrees.
The other guy sat in front of me. When I managed to regain the ability to breathe I noticed he had the same model cell phone as my personal phone. It took me awhile to recognize it because all the original colouring was gone due to wear-and-tear. It looked like a dog’s chew toy.
It’s not like these guys were poor, they were talking about flying to Ottawa for a Stanley Cup playoff final game months ago and buying tickets for this year. They were talking about winning $7,200 at poker after a $2,100 buy in and being upset about not winning $12,000. Apparently he placed second. It’s not like these guys can’t afford showers or new phones.
Where does their self respect come from? Do they feel pride at being able to kill children and small animals just by lifting their arms? Having a cell phone that doubles as a rock? Clearly their pride originates from gambling winnings but they’re still 2 stinky guys on a bus with a phone that’s barely recognizable as such.
I have a little freak out whenever my phone gets a scratch and I’m getting rid of it in February!
Whatever, they’re clearly idiots as they insisted halfway to my place is the worst place in the city when they got on the bus in the poorest postal code in the country.
I think maybe they were headed to a baseball game. Not exactly a roaring endorsement of the sport. Could you imagine sitting next to Stinky? I’d pass out by the 3rd inning! I’d pour beer on him just to cover the stink.
I fear for the future of humanity sometimes.
