Road With No Turns
Life has lately felt largely like it has been made up solely of obligations. Granted there has been the odd oasis of personal choice like Transformers and Seattle but day-to-day the feeling of a lack of control persists.
My life used to be like that Depeche Mode song In Your Room…
“In your room
Where time stands still
Or moves at your will
Will you let the morning come soon…”
I oversaw every detail of my space and within those walls I was absolute ruler. I effectively had control of day and night.
Now it wasn’t all roses and champagne, there were challenges and serious problems but it was largely up to me what would happen.
2 loads of laundry took 2 hours under ideal circumstances and I had to walk a block and a half to do it. I figured having laundry facilities would make this easier and while mostly that’s true the other day it took me about 24 hours to do one load.
I also had an intermittent problem with mice which was very troubling and thankfully that’s behind me but now I get bugs because our windows have no screens. If it were just me the answer would be simple, don’t open the windows, but with 3 bodies and constant sterilization of bottles that isn’t really an option.
I used to have mold in some places, also very troubling. Now I have to deal with constant dampness due to the constant sterilization.
I’m tired of getting “suck it up, you have a kid” or “what did you expect?” in response to the airing of these concerns, it just trivializes my thoughts and feelings. Frankly compared to those common responses Sam’s “sucks to be you” seems downright respectful, caring, and empathetic. That’s right, pointing and laughing at me is almost preferred because it at least acknowledges my plight. Of course Jon’s “it will get better soon” is even more preferable.
And there’s no one responsible for all this which makes it harder to deal with - it’s almost easier when there’s a bad guy.
I know work will eventually taper off in the fall (assuming recent developments don’t have any impact on my status), vacation is less than 2 months away, and my son will eventually be more independent but when I wake up to a day in which my only choice may be what sub to have for lunch it’s a little hard to be enthusiastic.
I think a lack of regular new entertainment is part of the problem. No 24, Doctor Who, or Torchwood to look forward to each week. Not even new Dragon’s Den. Other people are constantly trying to get me to watch new shows but they don’t interest me.
There is one thing I’m a little excited about but I hesitate to mention it lest it turn out to be rumour but it looks like the software company whose message board I moderate are working on a Star Trek game for the Wii…
And if it’s true you best believe there’s precious few things in the ‘verse that could stop me from getting one.
