Financial Depression
A little less than a year ago I put 4 grand into my RRSP. Why? It seemed a good idea at the time. There was a variety of reasons but I made a snap decision and never looked back. No regrets, no hesitation, no consequences thus far save a tax break and some interest.
Nowadays I agonize over where to invest the odd $100 I have to play with. I’ll be honest with you, I miss my disposable income. I miss having more finances to play around with. I actually enjoy crunching the numbers to see where I am, where I’ve been and figuring out different plans for where I’m going. Planning for the future and observing progress is fun and comforting to me. I realize this is very strange.
But it’s hard to look at your finances like a game when it affects other people. It’s not just your future freedom, fun, and stability - the decisions I make today could determine my child’s future. They may not, but how can I ignore the possibility? The situation’s far more complicated now. And of course when I have the money I don’t have the time to really look into my options in detail and when I have the time I don’t have the money.
It probably also didn’t help that I quit one job and took a leave of absence from another. Don’t get me wrong those were the right choices, it’s just hard to see that on a balance sheet. I guess part of what it all boils down to is a need to redefine ‘progress’. Simply maintaining the status quo while keeping everything afloat is the new progress.
