Grazing Rites

Bill 29 was the act of the BC Liberals that allowed them to sacrifice THOUSANDS of health care provider jobs on the alter of privatization. The Supreme Court recently ruled that this Bill, which broke numerous collective agreements negotiated openly and freely agreed to by all sides, was illegal. The provincial Liberals had to be told that breaking contracts was illegal!

And their response? “Judicial Activism!” they cry. Right. Courts and judges upholding the law is ‘activism’? No, it’s doing your freaking job! I wonder what precisely the BC Liberals want courts to do when faced with something illegal? Well the provincial Liberal approach seems to be if it favours you embrace the crime and if it doesn’t throw the book at it and then claim stiffer penalties are needed.

Remember the other day when you asked me the definition of hypocrisy and I said “ARGH!“?

And guess what these theoretically activist judges did? They gave the BC Liberals a year to “do something about it“. Break the law, get a year to “something about it“? Are you freaking kidding me?

They got the lightest slap on the wrist possible (frankly I think they had to create a new increment of light just to cover this situation as we previously did not have a unit of measure small enough!) and they STILL cry foul. Were we stateside Jon Stewart would be all over this.

So how do you define “do something about it“? Well apparently to the provincial Liberals it means continue the illegal activity for a year and then stop and take no action to reverse your crimes. Predictions are another 650 health care providers will lose their jobs in that time. Again all in the name of privatization.

Hold on, I could have swore we were facing a nursing shortage? That’s sure as hell what I was told when the birth of my child was delayed 14 hours. They had the room, the doctors, the medication, but no nurses. The BC Liberals solution? Fire people. And not the people causing or failing to address the shortage, the people we’re short of.

Great. Do they also put fires out with gasoline and cure hunger with a diet?

Jesus. The dumbest person in the country knows there’s a national health care problem, why don’t our leaders?

And privatization, wow. How distinctly un-Canadian. Ask any Canadian what makes us different from Americans and you can bet health care will make the list. And privatization has worked so well for the Americans, none of them are complaining. That’s what Michael Moore’s new film Sicko universally positively reviewed even by Fox ‘news’ is about, right? How everything is great in the states’ health care system?

No? Hmmm, how could I have gotten that wrong?

But surely the best health care programs in the world in Europe and Cuba are products of the free market?

No? Huh. Looks like we’re screwed then.

Our physical health, laws, and national identity are being attacked by the BC Liberals. Tell me, how far must they go before we DO SOMETHING?

Maybe if they break other laws? Oh wait, they have.

Restrict access to information? They did that too?

Drunk driving then? Damn.

How about purchasing sex toys with taxpayer money? Did that.

Drown a puppy? Anyone? No? Okay so they haven’t done that…as far as we know.

Seriously, they are running out of crimes to commit. And an electorate that seems asleep at the wheel only emboldens them to find new ways of ruining the province.

I know what you’re thinking: what the hell is he on about now with a title like that? All I can say is have a little faith, it may be beneficial…

In my last year of University I had to read a book by Robert Putnam called Bowling Alone. The book was largely about what he identified as the collapse of the American social community as evidenced by declining registrations in bowling leagues. I realize that sounds crazy but it was actually a fascinating book. In one chapter he describes the personality traits of an ideal capitalist and how such traits would actually work to counter this trend.

So let’s save you money and the social fabric of society shall we?

The core of this personality actually is a close match to my own - frankly I was shocked at the time but in the years since I think my modest prosperity has demonstrated some strength to the theory.

So this is how it works. You are frugal with yourself but generous with friends, family, and other loved ones. So you only expend money upon yourself when it is a need rather than a want or you are getting a great price. With regards to family, friends, and loved ones you don’t even look at the price. This saves you money and makes you fiscally responsible because you live a somewhat minimalist existence but are well liked by friends and loved ones. You take pleasure in the joy you bring others and pride in your own efficiency with regards to yourself.

This also strengthens the social fabric as we generally only get luxury items in the form of gifts. For one thing it makes gift giving easier. We all have that friend who buys whatever they want whenever they want. They make more money than us yet never seem to have any savings but have the biggest TV. I’m looking at you Jon. Compare and contrast with me a year ago - living in a tiny apartment, small TV, long wish list but happy with significant savings and I was making less than half of what he was. How is this possible? Robert Putnam knows.

But that’s not the only support for my philosophy. Take The Prisoner’s Dilemma in which two people are caught by the police and no evidence of the crime exists. They separate the prisoners and try to convince each prisoner to rat out the other. They offer amnesty to whoever rats out the other first but if they rat each other out both go to prison but for a much shorter sentence. The deal only applies to the first person to squeal.

So if you are the only rat you get off Scott free but the other guy gets a long prison term. If you both stay quite you both go to jail but not for very long. If the other person rats you out but you stay quiet you get the long sentence and your partner gets off Scott free.

So there’s an incentive to be the first rat but if you look at the greatest utility (let’s call it fewest man-hours spent in jail total) of the system it’s better for both to stay quite and serve a very short term.

So in the late 80s a group of computer programmers decided to use the prisoner’s dilemma to test algorithms. They programmed different computers to do different things in repeated cases of the dilemma and then had the computers play against each other. For example one computer would always rat right away, another might never rat, yet another might rat every other time, and so on. The object is to serve the least amount of jail time over multiple games.

They found that in cases in which very few games were played, say 1-3, the one that always ratted right away came out on top. When a mid-range number of games were played say 3-20, they found a program that just repeated whatever the other computer did on the previous move came out on top. When many games were played, around 20-60+, the computer that never ratted came out on top.

So what does all this mean? Well let’s replace the prisoner’s dilemma with your standard social interaction. You could be a dick (i.e. the rat) and try to get whatever you can out of the interaction or you can be generous (i.e. stay silent) betting on the eventual payoff of a lasting relationship. What they did in the late 80s was to prove an argument in favour of being a nice guy.

Now other conclusions can be made from this experiment such as if you are certain never to have future interactions with someone than it’s in your best interests to be a selfish prick. So one may conclude that you don’t need to be nice to some you’ll only meet once while on vacation, for example a ticket seller at an amusement park you never plan on revisiting.

Also for situations in which you will encounter someone a guaranteed limited number of times you should treat them as they treat you. Another vacation example would be the concierge at a hotel.

But for the vast majority of situations it pays off in the long run in mathematically proven ways to be a nice guy. They say nice guys finish last, which in this case is true, but they finish with the most stuff and in the best position. So getting back to my main point it pays to be generous with friends, family, and loved ones but when it comes to yourself the minimalist existence is the way to go.

I should mention that I am NOT nice to people because of these theories, these theories just show quantitative evidence that my way of behaving will be good for me and others in the long run. It’s just support for how I want to behave anyways.

So what does this all mean in the real day-to-day world? Well for example I generally only buy groceries that are on sale or at a good price unless it’s something someone else wants. For example I generally won’t pay more than $0.50 for a chocolate bar but if my partner puts it on the shopping list I’ll probably pick it up regardless of price. Would I go out and but myself a PS2? Probably not. I can’t justify that kind of expense. That said I bought one for Burton last Christmas without blinking twice - I knew it’d make him happy.

Now I’m probably painting a pretty grim picture here and it’s not like we don’t spoil ourselves from time to time. I have bought the occasional video game and treat myself to pizza whenever a new episode of 24 is on. But these are rare and carefully thought out. Even when I get something for myself I make sure I pay the lowest price (so I buy a used video game rather than new) or get a good deal (use coupons for pizza).

So let’s assume I know what I’m talking about and you want to give it a try. How would you go about doing that?

Groceries is an easy way to try it out. Go to the grocery store without a list. Only buy things that are on sale or have a really good price (for example chocolate bars for $0.50, a 12 pack of pop for $3.50 or less, a 2L bottle of pop for $0.99, etc.). Now don’t be silly and buy stuff you don’t want or won’t eat or will expire before you get to it. Maybe it isn’t something you want today but you may want it next week when it’s not on sale. That’s how I do my grocery shopping.

The next time you see a video game or clothes or electronics item you want to buy ask yourself some questions. “Is this the best price without going online?” if the answer is no, keep looking. “Is this my only chance to buy it?” if yes, then consider picking it up. “Do I really need it?” if not then ask yourself “do I really deserve it?” and even if that’s a yes ask yourself “will someone want to get this for me for my birthday/Christmas?”

How do we judge when to treat ourselves? I generally use 3 possible reasons.

1) Tradition. I always have pizza with new episodes of great television. So long as I can afford it, I do it.

2) Hard Work. If I work more than 8 hours in a day or have a rough day I might treat myself to something. For example when I bought Smash Bros it was at the end of a very long summer season of work. 6 months of hard work and all I got myself was a $60 video game. It provided endless hours of fun and I got to enjoy the pride of being wise with my money. To give you another example whenever I quit a job I buy myself some food I’ve never had before to celebrate.

3) Success. I believe that good financial planning and management is all about thresholds. Sets limits, both maximums and minimums, for your various accounts and let those thresholds dictate regular behaviour. For example let’s say you want to keep $2,000 in your bank account to avoid services fees. Let’s say rent is $500 a month and you are paid every two weeks. A good threshold would be to have at least $2,700 in your savings account after each pay day. That gives you $200 spending money ($100 a week) plus $500 for rent and $2,000 to avoid fees and for use in case of emergency. So everything above say $2,800 you can invest. If you don’t have any tuition or other sweet tax credits you might put all the overage into your RRSP until you max out your deduction limit for the year, everything after that can go into a high interest savings account. So let’s say you’ve done all that and your high interest savings account is getting rather large, say more than $2,000. Now might be a time to adjust your spending habits a bit, treat yourself a bit more. Get the brand name food instead of the no name stuff. Go shopping, drop $200 on some nice new Rockport shoes. But when you notice the funds starting to drop below your thresholds it’s time to reign yourself in.

Now all of this does not apply while on vacation. Vacation is the one time it’s acceptable to be completely irresponsible with your money (within reason of course). Vacation PLANNING is a good time to be frugal but while actually ON vacation go nuts - or at least nuts by your new minimalist standards.

Now I’m not saying I’m right and telling you good folks what to do, I just hope to give y’all something to think about.

So the weather actually didn’t turn out to be too bad on Father’s Day, unfortunately for us we had already made other plans. Tova and I were disappointed on that score but I think most everyone else still thought it too cold for such activities.

Wimps.

Oh well, I guess there’s always next year and as I pointed out to Tova we don’t need a holiday to hit the waterpark(s).

So instead we went for a late lunch at Old Spaghetti Factory. I seemed to be the only one who enjoyed their food - although actually upon further reflection Tova didn’t have any complaints either. I guess we’re the troopers of the group.

I got a couple DVDs, some snazzy new batteries (will be handy in Orlando), and a tie of questionable taste as a gag gift. Tova even made me a card and got me a wallet which was very sweet of her.

We also asked someone to be a godparent and a representative on their behalf declined on the grounds that it was ‘heavy’. On odd experience to be sure but we’ve got the perfect backup, they’d go through hell just for the honour itself.

Overall it was a pretty good day. I suppose in retrospect my original requests were perhaps a little child-like. What can I say? I lack experience.

Had another strange dream last night, brace yourself as this makes less sense than the last one. First I was called in to discuss every blog entry I ever made with my boss with particular focus on any entry that alluded to her. Actual work situations keep pulling me away from the presentation which for some reason uses the image scrubbing technology from Minority Report.

In the dream no one I’m presenting to has any concern for the real work calling me away. They’ve become so focused on the minutia of my blog they’ve forgotten why we’re there - to help people. Every time I try to return to the presentation from my work area I get lost along the way - only adding to the anxiety.

Then about halfway through the presentation I realize I completely forgot about a paper that was due that day for a class that would affect my work.

Now this last wrinkle is familiar territory. I’ve had numerous dreams and several nightmares in which I’m back in school but have completely forgotten about a class and only realize my tremendous error after it’s too late, when no amount of hard work or sacrifice will fix the situation. What’s weirder still is generally when I wake up I’m completely convinced it actually happened.

Sometimes for hours after waking I’ll still be completely convinced that it was a genuine memory come back to haunt me rather than a product of my imagination. The fact is that never even came slightly close to happening at any level of my education.

Now you might think such dreams holdovers from my school days but the fact is I never had those dreams until AFTER I got my degree, how bizarre is that?

So what does this particular iteration of the dream mean? I’m going to go with cautionary tale - and perhaps an expression of frustration with recent events.

Since June of 2005 I have had “review European hotels on tripadvisor.ca” on my To Do list and I have finally gotten around to doing it.

Now given that it’s been 2 years (wow, has it really been that long?) since the trip I had to call up the old itinerary file from that trip to get the names and methods of booking of the relevant hotels. I also whipped out some of my photos from the trip, most notably from the Flic Flac because it was charming and the Hotel Galles because it needed it’s failings exposed to the world.

Going over the itinerary I am again reminded of how much effort Craig put in to planning that trip. My mommy bankrolled the trip but he was the one who, through his labour, made it take shape. He used expedia quite a bit which I am just, 2 years later, beginning to see the utility of. I have to admit in some of the early planning stages I had some reservations about letting him do all the planning - it’s not that I doubted his abilities but rather I was concerned my mom’s interests and requests would fall by the wayside.

At first it certainly looked that way, starting out she made 2 requests. All she wanted to do was see the Tower of Pisa and the Crown Jewels of England - and with a wee bit of digging she wanted to take a gondola ride in Venice. Since she was backing the trip it seemed reasonable to include these 3 reasonably humble activities but the initial plan included none of them. Now this was when the 3 of them were all living together in a house - a social experiment with potentially disastrous consequences if you ask me.

Meanwhile I was working my butt off at a month-long Halloween event that was still in it’s infancy and requiring a fair amount of my attention so my research and planning time was limited in the extreme. The original plan called for stops in Frankfurt, Prague, Vienna, Salsburg, Rome, Milan, and Montpelier. I did some research and put together a presentation in favour of adding Berlin, Venice, Paris, and London.

Now admittedly my additions were perhaps a bit more mainstream tourist dessert to Sis and Craig’s meat-and-potatoes stops but mom wasn’t overly concerned with the cultural significance of castles and such. However Craig did such a great job selecting interesting locations and doing his best to make them come alive for us that by the end we all had cultivated a grateful appreciation.

Now I freely admit I was very interested in visiting the 4 cities I had added but I was emboldened to fight in favour of Venice and London because by rights those stops should have been the impetus behind the trip. Craig’s superior planning skills even found a way to stopover in Pisa. In retrospect I don’t think it was so much a matter of her wishes being ignored but rather she likely wasn’t being very vocal about her wishes and naturally her and my requested stops were the most expensive.

So Venice and London, while also VERY high on my list were largely battles fought for my mom. Paris I also fought for because I was certain mom wanted to see the Eiffel Tower even if I couldn’t get her to admit it at the time. It’s one of those things you have to do at least once in your life and this was her best chance. Berlin on the other hand, that was all me. It had cultural, historical, and political relevance and was a pretty party town - I don’t think much of that interested my mom but that doesn’t mean she didn’t enjoy that addition to the trip.

But here I was, armchair travel planner, laying out requests and suggestions but it was Craig who had to find a way to make it work and stay on budget. And he did it very well. We stayed at 4 star hotels for the most part and he found some phenomenal apartments - well, more so Prague than Rome but nevertheless I don’t think I could pull off such a feat today.

I boast about my travel planning, preparedness, and deal-finding but my little side trips to Edmonton and Las Vegas are nothing compared to the complexity Craig had to wrap his head around planning that trip. And we were not particularly easy people to please either. I think to a limited extent we all felt we had some ownership over the experience although in truth had my mom just come down and made all the decisions she would have been well within her right to do so.

But in the end it all worked out. Sure there were issues but those were issues of personality not planning. The planning was complicated, thoughtful, detailed, and went off almost completely without a hitch. Looking back it’s an experience I wouldn’t mind repeating, with some modifications of course. I can’t help but wonder what kind of a trip I could come up with given what I know now. Unfortunately the budget just doesn’t exist at present.

So I’m looking after my son tonight as my girlfriend goes out with her mom.

12 minutes after she leaves he starts crying.

2 hours later he finally settles down and goes to sleep when someone phones my work cell, the battery dies as it’s ringing so I don’t see who I need to kill because sure enough the baby’s awake and angry - he got about 3 minutes sleep.

I spend about half an hour calming him down and he finally goes to sleep again. 10 minutes later my neighbour smashes a ladder in the bedroom window doing no damage but waking the now thrice pissed off baby. I would run outside and beat him to death with the ladder but I have a baby to look after.

Half an hour of crying later, mommy came home.

Evening Totals

Time Spent Crying: 3 hours.

Time Spent Sleeping: 13 minutes.

Time Spent Calm: 12 minutes.

People I Need To Kill: 2.

I should probably mention that my son’s been rather colicky of late so if any recent blog entries have seemed unfairly harsh, particularly those about the blog itself, that was a contributing factor. Once again I whip out the Chef quote…

“I meant it, I just could have expressed it better” -Chef

I guess it just sits very poorly with me that a form of cathartic self expression may have inadvertently sabotaged me due to the actions of others.

Know your audience, it’s the cardinal rule of writing for most media - unfortunately this medium makes that challenging. Sure I could password protect my blog but that would hurt my audience. I just have to hope my audience has a good balance of virtue and discretion.

Note: Delayed post.

I had the first busy day of the season today, worked 10 hours straight. I’m exhausted and the weird thing is despite how very tired I am I feel pretty good.

Maybe I just needed some public speaking and hard work to snap me out of my recent ennui.

How sick would that be if it were true?

Maybe it’s just leaving work late. Something about walking the site in the evening when few people are around knowing you’ve made a difference. Worked hard, put in an honest day, maybe even surprised someone. Perhaps done what a lesser man wouldn’t have handled as well. Maybe it was just being able to make decisions that made many people’s lives easier.

As for the public speaking I found myself wishing I could conduct the whole session rather than just my 10 minute bit. I don’t wish to appear critical but standing at a podium reading a script isn’t very engaging. It’s never easy to go in front of crowd mind you, not for anyone, so I have no complaints - I just wonder if I couldn’t have given it a bit more life.

Wacky workaholic me.

We’ll, there are other training sessions on the horizon that I really get to sink my teeth into and make my own. I genuinely believe I make an impact there. There are precious few opportunities to make a difference than in the shaping of young minds - but I’ve blogged about that enough before. Look it up if you’re curious, I can point you to specific posts.

So a pregnant woman at the bus stop with her friend decides to start smoking, as I get up to stand elsewhere she starts talking about how she can’t wait to get drunk tonight. When the bus finally comes between the two of them they don’t even have enough for one fare. They begin talking loudly and obnoxiously, theoretically joking, about dumping the baby in a garbage can after it’s born.

Do I really even need to comment? I think the stark depression of reality speaks for itself here.

I got it in my head last night to take a look at my air miles and it turns out I have enough points for some pretty sweet stuff…

Car Rental - 425 miles

I can get a $50 gift card for either Alamo or National car rentals. That’s over a day free! I must say this is one of the most tempting rewards because it makes the Orlando trip even cheaper! To give you an idea of how awesome this is let’s say we rented an Aveo from Alamo for the full week and had 4 people going on the trip, assuming one of them a driver 25 or older. The cost would work out to $8.77 USD per person per day ($61.39 USD per person for the whole trip), but if you factor in the gift card it would only be $6.98 USD per person per day ($48.86 USD per person for the whole trip).

Now you see what I did there? Sure I COULD just put the gift card towards my portion of the rental and be a totally selfish prick but no, vacations are a time to be nice and generous so I’m willing to share my good fortune with the group. Hopefully if anyone else in the group has sufficient air miles they’d consider matching my gesture. And the above is all assuming we can’t find another other way to knock down the price which I’m pretty sure we can. Or alternatively the gift card could pay for a GPS device for the week!

Books - 185 miles

I could get a $25 gift card to Chapters or even a $50 gift card for 365 miles. Why, I could put that towards a travel guide for Orlando or something to read on the plane.

Charity - 170 miles

I could donate money to Kid’s Help Phone or the Special Olympics however I don’t think I could claim that as tax-deductible so I don’t see it happening.

West Edmonton Mall - 135 miles

I have enough miles to get 3 tickets valid for Galaxyland or the Waterpark. Getting there would be the challenge. And to be clear, 2 tickets would be for me - one for each attraction, and the third would be for a travelling companion. Don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up here.

Splashdown Park - 100 miles

I can get a single adult admission or take the whole family for 300 miles. Again getting there would be the challenge but much less so than say, Edmonton.

Movies - 75 miles

I can get a single ticket to the local theatre for 75 miles or two for 180 or a Cineplex package for 175. Eat your heart out Scene card.

Bowling - 30 miles

I can get 2 games of bowling in Richmond for 30 miles - that means I have enough miles for 28 free games.

Nintendo Wii - 2900 miles

I have 15% of the miles needed for this. Sigh.

Death By Gift Cards - 115 miles

Banana Republic - $25 - 185 miles

Gap - $25/$50 - 185/365 miles

HBC - $25/$50 - 200/400 miles

Earls - $25/$50 - 195/385 miles

Kernels - $15/$25 - 115/185 miles

It’s amazing how many points you can rack up living across the street from a Safeway for 4 years. So, now that you know the options, what do you think I should get and what should I use it for? I’m thinking as soon as a driver 25 or older signs on for Orlando I’ll see about getting the gift card for the rental car and if that doesn’t pan out I’ll see if I can arrange transport to Splashdown. And if all else fails, maybe I’ll go back to Edmonton sometime after Orlando.

“My life’s a trial. I’m not denying that every little bit hurts. It’s a problem that I’m not solving; don’t mind admitting I feel like quitting this job for awhile, getting away, before it gets any worse today” -Pet Shop Boys ‘In Denial’

In ‘Orlando Information’ I showed you how to save money, what weather to expect, how to get around, highlighted an improv murder mystery attraction, and covered your duty-free allowance. In ‘Event Planner’ I explained how more fun can come from a larger and more diverse group, to say nothing of additional savings on things like a rental car (less than $10 per day per person!). In ‘Timezones!’ I explained how the travel time wasn’t so bad. In ‘Orlando Early Planning’ I explained the brilliance of the plan and in ‘Book Now’ I gave careful step-by-step instructions on how to get the deal.

So, the question remains, why haven’t you booked yet?

Oh wait, I know. The price. In ‘Book Now’ and ‘Travel Market Fluctuations’ I talked about how the price had gone up by $60-$150 per person. Yes, I could see how that would be quite discouraging. But the funny thing about market fluctuations is that they’re dynamic in both directions. What does that mean? Well, it means the price can go up OR DOWN.

And it has.

Gone down.

Currently expedia.ca is offering the exact same trip we booked for only $24 more per person. Oh and get this, you’d only have one connection to make going there whereas we have to make two. So for $24 more per person you get spared a stopover. Is this a better deal than the one I got? I leave that for you to decide but no matter how you slice it, $596 CDN per person for a week in Orlando is pretty damn sweet.

You’re running out of excuses NOT to treat yourself to this. Don’t you deserve it? Don’t you work hard? Isn’t the Vancouver winter a little depressing? Wouldn’t it be great to have some fond memories of sun, fun, and water parks to look back on to get you through the grey haze that is just a few months away?

Oh and I think I can get you a deal on travel medical insurance, something in the neighbourhood of 35% less than a bank would charge.

See? Not only am I, your humble blogger, looking out for your spiritual, emotional, and physical health but I’m also looking out for your wallet. Why not take advantage of it? When you travel with me, you have precious little to worry about. My research skills are well known, I can’t think of a road trip I’ve been on that my Navigator’s Clipboard hasn’t added to the enjoyment of. Remember my Vegas vacation? Pulled that off without a hitch! Planned it all myself, from the train to the hotels to the concert to the flights on different airlines and everything else and that was WAY more complicated than this trip.

Yes, I’ve never been to Orlando but I had never been to Vegas either. And you haven’t been to Orlando either, why not fix that? When I was in Europe my brother-in-law went on at length about how much fun he had in Orlando. We were in Europe, like gazillion times more expensive and it was all he could talk about! (Okay, I admit it was only like one rainy day in Prague he was going on about Orlando but nevertheless he himself said I should make Orlando my next destination).

Consider if you will my Anaheim trip. Disneyland with no wait longer than 10-15 minutes and most rides with no wait at all. I’m not promising anything but just think about it logically for a moment, why would the east coast be any different from the west coast? I tell you September is the month to travel. It’s the cheapest time and the smallest crowds, it can’t be beat.

Just to give you an idea of how prepared a traveler I am, I have a power converter that works in any car. So you can plug anything from a cell phone to a laptop in to charge in any car in the world and I don’t even drive. If we plan to rent a car you can bet I’ll be bringing that just for the convenience.

And the attractions speak for themselves. A small army of amusement parks to fit every personality: Disney World for the Burtons, Sea World for the Jons and Mindis, and Universal Studios for, well, who doesn’t like Universal Studios? I mean, look at this for god’s sake: http://www.geocities.com/cow_manx/flume.jpg

That’s from Anaheim but they’ve got the same ride in Orlando. In fact my preliminary research indicates they’ve got rides that make this thing look like the kiddie swings.

When I go on a trip, it’s an adventure. Harnessing the powers of Calvin for example Jon and I met Jay Leno: http://www.geocities.com/cow_manx/jay.jpg

Even got his autograph on a free pad that I won in a trivia contest! http://www.geocities.com/cow_manx/leno.jpg

So why am I mentioning all of this now? Two reasons. Firstly tomorrow is the day seat assignments are made for our flights, and yours too if you get booked. You want that window or aisle seat? Book now for the best possible chance.

Oh and that second reason? I’m planning to begin the real research next week. That’s right. I’ve found an insane deal the sharing of which drops jaws. I’ve found free discount cards and coupon books and attractions most people never would have been aware of and I haven’t even started to get serious yet.

I know, it’s only a week. And I don’t intend of planning things in great detail, the itinerary will likely only include things like flights but my experience has only solidified my belief that superior knowledge makes for a superior experience. I’m not going to plan what we’re going to do when, we’ll go where the spirit takes us. But when the spirit moves us towards any particular thing you can turn to me for anything you need to know about it and how to do it as cheaply as possible.

And I have the technology backing me up. My PDA with Pocket Streets and any data I pre-load from maps to contact numbers and directions. Digital Camera, 4.1 mega pixel with over a gig of memory plus zoom and panoramic lenses (if mommy lends them to me). Oh and it can capture video just fine. Here’s a nice little sample for you: http://s157.photobucket.com/albums/t46/cow_manx/?action=view&current=MOV01428.flv

If Burton and Jon join us our powers only multiply. Technologically speaking Burton has his laptop and Jon his camcorder. Both are excellent drivers that can probably save time on commutes. And they’re both a hell of a lot of fun.

So there’s a hell of a lot of reasons and advantages to going and very few reasons not to. It’s not even a solid week so any school or work you’ll miss will be the last 2 days of one week and the first 3 of the next. If I play my cards right I won’t miss any days of work so the opportunity cost is insanely low too (I’ll only be doing 4 days of work a week then anyways).

And you’re not exactly tied to our plans either. Say you only want to go for 6 days instead of a week and stay at a different hotel? Price drops to as low as $532 CDN. 5 days and a different hotel? $516 CDN. Join us for all or part of the trip, it’s up to you. But look at it this way, a week works out to $85 a day, 6 days is $88 a day, and 5 days $103 a day so the week is by far the better value. But I understand people have different budgets and different priorities, that won’t hold you back from sharing the fun.

Alright, I admit I’m selling it a little hard here but I’m not doing it for me - this is a message from you in an alternate future who never went on this trip: you’re kicking yourself, believe me.

Oh and I will mercilessly torture you with pictures and video and stories of the fun you could have had, but didn’t.

Mmmm…feedback…*drool*

The latest comment I received went thusly: “For the record I enjoy your blog the way it is and wouldn’t change a thing!”

That’s certainly nice to hear.

An interesting note about this person, they contacted me awhile back to remove their name from the guest book on my website (online since July ‘97, nearly 10 years now - wow) and at the time I thought the request, well, let’s just say a little paranoid I guess. But after the recent issues with my blog I’ve since revised my opinion from paranoid to wise.

Although, again, I never used my real name here.

Anyways, I recently inadvertently tested the statement that “everyone’s reading“. Two of the people I would have expected to be in the category of ‘everyone’ nearly feinted when they met my son, they had no idea I had procreated. So it seems the contagion hasn’t spread as far as some claim. I think I’ll take that as good news.

Why do I hate almost all ‘reality TV’? Why do I find it depressing?

Popular Opinion Over Ability Or Hard Work
Granted having an interactive aspect to a show is an interesting idea but when such interactions are used to judge and issue valuations of people it becomes a vacuous popularity contest. Perhaps the audience will acknowledge talent and hard work but it seems the person’s hair is just as important to many viewers. When even Simon Cowell, one of the pillars of Reality TV, dislikes an aspect of it then clearly it has issues.

Toying With People
When announcing if someone will make it to the next round jerky gimmicks are the order of the day. Convince them they’ve failed and once they’re about ready to cry drop the ‘good news’ bombshell. They call it drama or unexpected twists but it’s nothing more than a child saying something hurtful to another child and then adding “not” at the end several minutes later.

Crying
I have a rule, if someone on TV is crying and not an actor I change the channel. Sometimes even if it’s tears of joy depending on context. I refuse to turn someone’s misery into sport or entertainment. Am I morally superior to the viewing masses or just cognizant that it may be me crying on the 6 o’clock news one day? I leave it to you to decide but let me ask you this, when Sharon Osbourne is the only defender of the innocent what does that say about the rest of us?

‘Dramatic Style’
Listen to the music of any reality show, then watch the song and music writing scenes from Wag The Dog. Observe the broad sweeping camera angles, then go watch Ed Harris in The Truman Show. You’ll feel manipulated and not just a little dirty. Yes, scripted TV does the same thing, albeit with more class and subtlety, but they’re not trying to present ‘reality’.

‘Reality’
What’s more real than Vern Troyer getting drunk in a hot tub with a former model or castaways riding elephants? Cutting your lawn! Get a life people, don’t live vicariously through others, your life is far more interesting and even if not the dramatic impact should be greater.

Virtue v. Pandering
On these shows virtue becomes a liability and ruthlessness a prerequisite. The worst behaviour is often rewarded. Any hard work happens off-camera or is edited out.

Economics
Reality TV is far cheaper to make than scripted TV. For one you rarely need more than one ’set’ and even that you often don’t need to create such as an island or stage. Thus carpenters and the like get less work. You also don’t pay the vast majority of your on-screen people (I refuse to call them talent, contestants maybe). So the next Al Pacino or Robin Williams can’t get work because we’re fascinated by the Amish getting makeovers. And the next time someone asks “Why is Paris Hilton famous?” check the mirror reality TV fans.

Assumption Of Audience
Just watch the first few minutes when any reality TV show returns from commercial, they will often spend that time recapping what has already occurred in the program thus far. They think so little of their audience that they feel the need to review what they just saw 2 minutes ago. To the best of my figuring this is done for one of two reasons, or perhaps both. First because the IQ and attention span of the average reality TV fan MAY be lower/shorter than average so they feel the need to constantly repeat themselves worse than Barney to keep their audience in the moment. The second possibility is that the show itself is so empty they need to find any excuse or gimmick to waste screen time. I suppose it is conceivable that they expect a great many viewers to be tuning in mid-show however why cater to what ideally would be a very small portion of your audience and also who knows if these channel surfers are switching right after a commercial break? If this is really their concern why not have a scrawl at the bottom of the screen constantly explaining everything? This would also help with those lower IQ viewers. Although I suppose the barrier then becomes literacy which may be asking too much. I could recap what I just said but I think too highly of you, dear reader.

Any Exceptions?
I freely admit I don’t hate ALL reality TV. Last Comic Standing and Dragon’s Den are both great. But were these shows produced a decade or two ago they wouldn’t have been branded reality TV. I also do on occasion appreciate an episode of America’s Got Talent but the entertainment comes not from the ‘contestants’ but rather David Hasselhoff - himself the only real paid actor on the program. Thus returning us once again to the paradigm of entertainment, writing, and acting as profession.

Orlando can’t come soon enough. I’ve felt mildly smothered by routine of late but the hell of it is routine is actually pretty ideal under current circumstances. In fact with regards to my son we could benefit from a great deal more routine. But I can’t help but feel the vast majority of my current day-to-day life is a road without any turns.

On a weekday I need to get up at a certain time, get ready, catch the same bus, make the same transfer, get off at the same stop, go to the same office, do the same work, take the same buses home, figure dinner out, help with my son, watch Reality TV with my girlfriend that all follows the same formula, style, music, format, and depressing themes, when it gets to be a bit much I do stuff on the computer, followed by a crime drama, then at 11pm it’s Daily Show, then Colbert, then bed.

Weekends aren’t much better, there is on occasion a few hours on Saturday and fewer on Sunday where I can choose what I do from very limited options. Then Sunday night it’s family dinner, maybe a board game, then back home and bed again.

It’s not that I particularly resent any part of it, well perhaps the Reality TV which I find a little soul-crushing but the rest of it is okay. It’s not like there’s no variation, hanging out with Jon and Burton for example and new Doctor Who but I can’t help but feel a distinct lack of control. No one’s really done anything to cause it but nevertheless it exists.

At the end of a weekend full of diverse food I found myself having some difficulty getting to sleep. My stomach was making all sorts of noises and I honestly thought I was going to be ill so I borrowed one of my partner’s Tums; probably only the second one I’ve had in my entire life to give you an idea how bad it was. I guess the bizarre combination gave rise to the following dream.

For some reason I was attempting to infiltrate a culture known for it’s rather paternalistic views towards women. Actually paternalistic is a rather polite word for it. I won’t identify which culture but those who worked with me at the theatre should be able to decode the message in the title of this entry. For the rest of you the only hint I’ll drop is their occasional killing of mothers and daughters - sometimes their own.

I don’t recall how exactly I infiltrated them but before long I was welcomed into the group and having to engage in some morally questionable activities.

The undercover operation came to a conclusion at my work in which a bizarre rite of passage occurred in which each man was told to choose a woman, or indeed several, from those sitting on pair of bleachers. All the potential partners seemed willing but I had my doubts. For one thing fully half of the group of women were of a different race.

Thus I found myself in an O’Brien-like dilemma (think ‘Honor Among Theives’) in which I needed to participate in the depravity to keep my cover intact but I had a family at home.

Not entirely surprisingly there was quite a bit of chaos as the men tried to get the most attractive partners before anyone else. I was able to ride out the storm for most of the selection process but before long it was just me and a handful of less attractive women. I tried to pick the least attractive of the bunch hoping that I could find an ally. After making my selection we began to walk away and I inquired about her willingness.

She seemed perfectly content but before long and without much probing her reluctance became quite clear. I observed that I didn’t have proper protection hoping this would afford me a way out but she simply said “have faith in your brothers” sounding much like an automaton. Horrified I looked skyward for a brief reprieve and noticed the CBC setting up a camera crane.

I excused myself saying something about needing to protect my ‘brothers’ from exposure and went over to a Manager. Apparently the CBC was doing some kind of fluff piece about my work and I tried to talk them out of it - if my picture was pasted all over the news I’d no longer be effective in undercover work. My pleas fell on deaf ears it seemed until someone took me aside and said “don’t worry, your party won’t be in frame, we look after our brothers”

They were everywhere. They had infiltrated the media.

Oh no. My operation was a joint venture between the CBC and the police, both groups wanted to blow the lid on this story but the police didn’t have the resources to build an effective cover and the CBC lacked the authority. They were working together to put me in harm’s way but if this producer-director was a ‘brother’ it was only a matter of time before my cover was blown. I had to get what I needed tonight.

My primary goal was a special jade bracelet, given to new inductees when they had been completely accepted into the group. With that as proof my account of events would be as good as physical evidence but without it then it would be my word against theirs.

Returning to the woman I told her I had ensured protection of the brotherhood but we didn’t have time for anything before the meeting at the end of the party. She agreed, clearly relieved, and we returned to the bleachers. Shortly thereafter a meeting was held in which I was issued a jade bracelet. I had done it!

See, this culture had by and large begun to respect the rights of women but a core group had returned to the abusive old ways. It was a political, legal, and public relations dance in which the core group stayed one step ahead of authorities but now I had the hard proof. I walked off into the sunset, victorious and morally untarnished.

Then I woke up, 15 minutes before my alarm was due to go off.

Why did I share this with you? A variety of reasons. First I started this blog with a dream, I have a tradition to maintain. Second the story was just so involved and well thought out it would make a pretty good movie. Thirdly I think we’ve all gotten a little sick of the meta-blog (blogging about the blog).

Seems the subconscious creative centers of my brain are quite capable of creating an engaging and complex plot. It even made good use of time, wrapping up all the loose ends and even a tidy denouement.

Balls.

Remember how I suggested 4 different potential Father’s Day activities? It seems all 4 have been struck down by one means or another. Cultus and Splashdown were cut down by the forecast which currently predicts a High of 15°C, a Low of 12°C (officially cold by my figuring), Rain with a POP of 100%. Laser tag eliminated because the baby can’t participate. The movie vetoed. I don’t mean to sound negative but it almost kind of makes me wish I hadn’t been asked.

Bowling was suggested which I guess would be alright so long as it’s 10 pin and not at Revs. I’ve been trying to think of other ideas and I haven’t gotten very far vis-a-vis things I’d like to do. The current attractions at Science World and CN Imax don’t interest me. A day or even weekend trip to Seattle or Victoria might be nice. Seattle is expecting cloudy with showers on Saturday and cloudy periods on Sunday. Victoria is expecting scattered showers on Saturday and rain on Sunday. Or maybe some mini golf at Castle Fun Park? (http://www.castlefunpark.com/)

Any other ideas?

What a tangled web. I still have resources though. I think I’ve determined the route this blog epidemic took to bring us where we are now. I tell 2 people, one of them tells 2 more, those 2 share it with someone and it’s brought back to me. Claims that everyone is reading may be overstating things. I’m not quite ready to hit the panic button yet. I have however taken yet more steps to protect myself.

Specifically I have made some adjustments to my friendster profile that makes me harder to track down including changing my shortcut URL. Now this won’t do anything to anyone who has me on their friends list nor anyone who bookmarked my blog but it will make hunting me down via Google a great deal more difficult.

Today was somewhat revealing in that I was told that the myspace mirror never factored in to the equation. I also received contradictory information that everyone is reading and that only a select few are reading that created a rather bizarre short circuit if you will.

Frankly I’m less than pleased that no one has stepped forward to admit to reading and discussing it behind my back. I mean really, how different is it from finding someone’s diary in the lost and found, photocopying it, and spreading it around all the while having a good chuckle? Yes, it’s on the Internet but at no point have I used my real name. I’ve shared it with a select few (although obviously not select enough) who felt they could share it with others. I’m not saying it’s a breach of trust but there was definitely a lack of good judgment in some cases.

My friends and family are furious over the whole thing. What kind of behaviour and ethics allow this to become an issue?

Look, if you read my blog I don’t mind - I just don’t see why people seem to feel the need to do so from the shadows. Perhaps they should ask themselves that very question. If the answer is because you feel guilty or think that doing so is somehow wrong then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate what you are doing.

Again, the above does not apply to Family, Friends, Total Strangers, or anyone I shared my blog with. But the people who know me who are not family, friends, or did not receive this address from me I’d humbly like to request you either come out of the shadows and talk to me directly or take a serious look in the mirror and ask yourself what business is this of yours? I don’t mean to be rude but frankly this situation has begun to become quite tiresome.

Note: Most former coworkers count as friends, so long as I didn’t fire them

Aside from the odd relationship milestone I’ve never had a day in the spring-summer before. 3rd week of September, yea, and there’s Christmas but the other half of the year not so much. So when the question was posed “What do you want to do for Father’s Day?” I was a little taken aback.

For about 5 seconds.

Then my brain operating independently of the rest of me blurted out “Slashdown!”

Gotta love autopilot, particularly when it looks after you as well as mine tends to.

Then the rest of me caught up and revised “Cultus!”

Now keep in mind I have a history of asking for everything and settling for less. Well, settling isn’t quite the right word, enjoying would be more apt.

Cultus I don’t really see happening just because of the distance involved however it IS the sweeter water park and is open daily 10am-6:30pm. It’s $19.81 ($21 with tax) per person and apparently there are weekend coupons in local newspapers although I have yet to see any. Frankly I’d be willing to pay for the whole group so long as someone provided transportation. And there’s always Castle Fun Park and A&W on the way back.
http://www.cultus.com

Splashdown is much more likely. They’re open 10am-4pm on weekdays, 10am-6pm on Fridays, and 10am-7pm on weekends. It’s $20.95 ($22.21 with tax) per person and there is a special family of 4 rate available, as well I have a 2-for-1 coupon. Plus I can get 4 $2 coupons.
http://www.splashdownpark.ca

Always one to provide options there’s also laser tag. 1 game is $8 and 3 games are $18 ($6 each). This option, despite being more centrally located, could end up being more problematic as the whole family can’t join in. But we’d be reasonably close to Burger Haven and Old Spaghetti Factory for food.
http://www.planetlazer.net

Of course there’s always Ocean’s 13 and La Rustica or Earls.

Either way, should be fun.

So in addition to Stefania’s words of support (thank you by the way) I received an e-mail with some answers to the questions I posed about my blog recently. To protect his identity let’s call him Dark Enigma. Yea, they’ll never figure that out.

Q: Topics you wish I’d NEVER write about?
A: My romantic life.
Have I ever?

Q: Topics you wish I write about LESS?
A: Nothing. Seems good to me.
Thank you.

Q: Topics you think I handle just fine?
A: Well this is a matter of opinion, but I haven’t been displeased, and that’s what really counts.
It’s opinions I’m after.

Q: Topics you wish I’d write about MORE?
A: Me and my adventures.
Feel free to submit suggestions of specific adventures you would like chronicled but I suggest a better approach is to just have more adventures that I’m present for and thus would naturally write about (read: Orlando).

Q: Suggestions for topics I haven’t covered?
A: Me and my adventures.
That’s not fair, I discussed your visit with TheatreSports and awkward mobility, plus I told the tale of Trip One, more or less accurately.

Q: What do you think of my language? Do I need to adjust the ‘rating’ I shoot for?
A: I think that the language should reflect the emotion of the blog in question. For example, if you’re writing about how much you liked the meal you just had, perhaps aiming for a G rating would be appropriate. If you’re writing about an ‘incident’ on the bus and you’re angry, use some language that would cause you to loose money if spoken aloud (swear jar).
Despite recent issues I do want a diverse audience though, I’d hate to prevent younger readers from having safe access.

Q: Should I be more anonymous when discussing things and people? Take greater steps to protect identities and obscure details?
A: Speaking personally, I don’t care, as long as it’s not going to make people hate me. Maybe for things you want to say in a negative light, change names to protect the innocent.
Thanks Jon. I’d like to think I had protected people’s identities in the past but perhaps my method of concealing identities didn’t stop smart people from figuring it out.

Thanks for the feedback, please keep it coming!

So apparently my blog has been getting far more attention lately than I thought. Remember the accidental canary trap that yielded a possible result and how I brought my suspicions to someone who told me I was crazy and paranoid? Yea, today she told me pretty much everyone is reading and discussing my blog. If it weren’t all so secretive I’d be really flattered.

I’ll be honest, I wanted a large readership of friends, family, and total strangers but I had kinda hoped to restrict it to those groups.

Anyways what it all boils down to is me restricting my myspace page to friends-only. I suspect that’s where my unintended readers are coming from as myspace is more popular than friendster. The funny thing is myspace was just meant to be a mirror. It’s features are quite limited and I don’t like the layout. Updates to the myspace blog were essentially me backing up my data lest friendster suffer some kind of technical or financial difficulty.

I’ll continue to backup to myspace but access will be restricted because the myspace backup was a bit more rough due to editing limitations. Remember if you want Grazing Rites the way it was meant to be seen and in real time Friendster is where it’s at.

Hopefully very few readers will be affected by this. Maybe I’ll even get a better idea of who my mystery readers were on myspace.

Recent revelations have forced me to rethink the nature of this forum.

For one thing apparently someone thinks I’ve been using this as a soapbox to complain about a certain group of people. I decided to review my entire blog to investigate. That’s right, all the way from Iraqi Vacation to Oddity. Over 300 posts. My research indicates that of all my posts regarding these folks only one or two has been negative while all others have been positive. Glaring and fulsome with praise even.

But I guess it’s the exception that disproves the rule. Frankly I’m a little disappointed to see someone in this group have such a distorted impression of my opinion of them. I’m not upset that they felt the need to voice their concerns, although I do wish they had been voiced directly to me. Perhaps I could have explained that one criticism doesn’t negate a long history of positive feedback.

Oh well.

Whether you believe it or not I’m intently interested in feedback. And it’s not like I don’t listen. Jon requested I cease posting about hockey and for nearly a year I did. I’ve even written on requested topics. I can’t really think of a blog-related request I didn’t follow to some degree or another.

Perhaps I haven’t made enough of an effort to solicit feedback, Friendster doesn’t exactly make it easy to comment on an entry, you have to be signed in and to do that you require an account. But I would like to encourage everyone reading this to comment on the future of my blog. Some questions you may want to answer include…

-topics you wish I’d NEVER write about
-topics you wish I write about LESS
-topics you think I handle just fine
-topics you wish I’d write about MORE
-suggestions for topics I haven’t covered
-What do you think of my language? Do I need to adjust the ‘rating’ I shoot for?
-Should I be more anonymous when discussing things and people? Take greater steps to protect identities and obscure details?

Ever curious and desirous of being aware of my surroundings I googled ‘Main @ Hastings’. Apparently it’s the poorest postal code in Canada and Carnegie Community Centre used to be just a library built as a joint venture between the city and a philanthropist for $5,000 each per year and is now known as the area’s ‘living room’ and is allegedly drug-free.

I also stumbled upon a forum called Virtual Tourist in which visitors to our fair city were debating the merits of the area. In all but 2 posts it was usually condemned as “avoid at all costs” some because of unsubstantiated claims regarding crime but many reaching the common sense conclusion that it’d just be a downer on your vacation.

Of the 2 dissenting opinions one poster felt the need to explain how to score drugs without getting ripped off. His screen name was sickboi.

Apt, that.

The second dissenting opinion claimed the area a monument to the city’s poor handling of their poor and addicted.

Now I’m not saying the city’s approach is great as it’s clearly not working but when did it become the city’s fault that people were poor or on drugs?

(comic relief: when first typing this on my PDA while on the bus it came out as “when did it become the city’s fault that people were poo“. An attractive woman with red nails reading over my shoulder tried not to laugh lest she give away her nefarious reading - as a result the stifled giggles made her look like she was having a seizure. Good times.)

So I’m sure you’re all quick to ask “what about the mentally ill?” Well it was PROVINCIAL funding cutbacks that downscaled Riverview.

Or perhaps you’re thinking, “what about those addicted to drugs, it’s not their fault?” I beg to differ on two counts. One, at some point, assuming they weren’t all crack babies, they made a choice in favour of drugs. Two, how is this the city’s fault. “Oh the city doesn’t do enough to help addicts“? The city had the only supervised injection site in the country, I daresay the city may have done too much to help them but that’s a debate for another time and before you summon the riteous indignation I haven’t decided how I feel about that whole idea yet.

What about the poor? Our economy’s booming. An idiot can get a job. Employers are too desperate to marginalize anyone. Employees are a resource in scarce supply right now so they can call the shots more than ever before.

There’s plenty of blame to spread around but the recent trend to lay it all on the city is ill-conceived.

So I received an e-mail request for a ‘touch base’ meeting to follow up on my performance appraisal. At first I was concerned, my boss is pretty busy so why would a little chin-wag be a priority unless there was a problem with my performance she needed to discuss? So I was a wee bit anxious for a little while until I remembered the one issue I brought up at my appraisal: insufficient feedback.

She probably just set a reminder for herself after my appraisal to follow-up 6 months later. The timing fits. Besides I received another nice compliment from our primary supplier today. We were talking about his new business venture and the frustrations it’s heir to when he says to me “you know, in this business you’re quite the oddity”

“Oh?” I asked.

“Well you know what you want well in advance. In this industry I usually get orders the day after they need them filled and half of them don’t even know what they want. Plus you never panic or yell, that’s a bonus. Hell, you even give me travel advice! Before you told me about that Orlando deal I had told my family there wasn’t money for a vacation this year” he said.

“Wow” I said.

“Frankly you’re the most organized person I’ve ever dealt with professionally” he added.

Now this isn’t any kind of sycophant, he’ll tell it to you straight banking on you appreciating the honesty.

I hope I don’t come off as sniffing my own farts here, I just thought I’d share something positive.

Frankly I think my first year’s success is as much thanks to luck and my team as anything I did. I had no idea what I was doing ordering stuff last year, I’m just incredibly lucky the mathematical formula I came up with worked so well, it just as easily could have blown up in my face and ended in disaster. Expensive, embarrassing disaster. It wasn’t even that complicated a formula, really.

Would it come off as a little pretentious and self-congratulatory if I prepared some numbers to show my boss how much money I’ve saved the company this year or would it just be smart self-promoting?

A delicate dance, these things. How do you impress the boss but appear humble? Feed YOURSELF the compliment sandwich? It would show self awareness and pretty much do her job for her.

Perhaps I’m over thinking things. I do tend to do that.

Maybe I should just find a humourous way to ask for free food and have done.

So the other morning my girlfriend gave me a bit of a talking to about not taking night shifts with the baby. I suppose it was a matter of time really, the timing was pretty good for her being pregnant in the winter months but that means when baby’s at his most needy I’m putting in the most hours. October to January I only put in 2 days a week at my primary job but the summer is harder.

And it’s going to get worse before it gets better. While I’m at full time hours my workload isn’t so demanding but late July to mid-September I put in more than full time and the work becomes more physically and mentally draining. Granted it’s no GS but that doesn’t mean I won’t have to hit the Red Bull even under ideal circumstances.

She also mentioned she’s had a migraine EVERY SINGLE DAY since leaving the hospital which was news to me. Several, yes, but every day? Damn.

Oh and she’s had a cough the last few days and the pharmacist essentially said too bad, it happens to all new mommies.

All that and I haven’t even started to tell you what the bad day was all about.

My son in tow she trucked down to the passport office only to discover the ID she always used was no longer acceptable despite no changes to policy or procedure. “Why” seemed an impossible question to answer.

My son’s application was likewise rejected because his birth certificate was the “short” form, the exact same kind I used to get my passport. Again, no policy or procedural changes and no explanations.

Then she found construction blocking every direct route to an elevator at Skytrain.

Then people at the mall kept trying to manhandle our child.

Frankly she’s a braver person than I for attempting all that.

I sat next to an import car model on the bus today.

Insert irony here.

So it turns out Odds weren’t performing the night we had tickets but nevertheless we had a great time.

I wore my 54*40 t-shirt which was interesting on 3 counts.

1) I was the only one which leads me to think I was one of maybe 4 people there primarily for the band. For me the hockey was incidental, for most the reverse seemed true.

2) People kept asking me when and where they were preforming. I figure they could tell I worked there despite my disguise or they thought I was a roady. There’s a funny thought. On the other hand maybe they just thought a true fan would know the score.

3) The shirt made me invisible to staff. One of the people who conducted my panel interview, who I’ve worked with for years looked right at me, not a glimmer of recognition. This happened repeatedly.

They started off with Love You All which was interesting because usually that’s their patented show ender. A message to the fans if you will.

Lies To Me was awesome, as always.

When Crossing A Canyon came up I was very excited, it’s a great song and I remember rocking out to it at the Stampede in 2001 but at the point where the crowd USUALLY goes nuts, I was the only one jumping around like an idiot. Even the mosh pit behaved itself…for the first time that night.

When One Day In Your Life was announced as the next song I let out a loud “YEEAAAA!“. There was an echo, the band looked at me, it was awkward.

Thankfully by that point I didn’t care. After One Day In Your Life I turned to Mindi and said “only one song can top that!” meaning of course Ocean Pearl.

But I forgot about Since When.

The Go Giants Go remix of Ocean Pearl was interesting. At first I wanted to throttle the crowd for chanting over the song but then one guy started chanted the band’s name back at the crowd. I joined in but we were out numbered. At the usual spot of the song they turned the mics to the crowd, ostensibly to see the song but the stupid hockey fans wouldn’t stop. The band look frustrated, the other fan and I were ready to kill people, but then the band and I remembered the first rule of improv.

Don’t fall in love with an idea. So the Go Giants Go remix was born.

Thankfully the crowd had them out for an encore. Encore at a free concert in which the crowd over-chants your biggest hit? What can I say, 54*40 are professionals and great entertainers even if they did look a little tired. We were treated to I Go Blind for the encore.

All told it was a great time. 54*40 at their worst still kick more sour frog ass than many at their best.

In an effort to further inspire (read: light a fire under) our friends (read: JON! Burton! Sam) to begin planning (read: Book now!) their Orlando vacations I’ve put together some information that will make the trip more enjoyable and cheaper. Knowledge is power. Obedience brings victory. Victory is life.

Magicard
http://www.orlandoinfo.com/magicard/
-$5 off at the world’s largest Hard Rock Café
-10% off food or merchandise purchase at Planet Hollywood
-$5 off at TGIFriday’s
-$5 off at Tony Roma’s
-10% discount off at Medieval Times
-Free coupon books for multiple malls / shopping centers
-Discount car rentals
-Discounts on attractions that don’t interest me (Gatorland, Ripley’s, etc.)

But why get just the card when you can have the card plus an entire free package of Orlando information from the Orlando/Orange County Convention & Visitors Bureau including a Visitors Guide? They’ll send it to your home for free in about 2 weeks, sign up here:
http://orlandoinfo.com/requestform/

Weather (for September)
Monthly High: 32°C
Monthly Low: 22°C
Sunrise: 7:00am
Sunset: 7:30pm
During the same period last year (Sept 20 - 26th) it only rained 2 days out of the week, 0.2cm on the 20th and 0.5cm on the 26th. Put together that would be less than the width of your pinky finger at the narrowest point.

Trolley
International Drive, where we’re staying as well as Universal, Wet & Wild, and Sea World, has a trolley! $9 for unlimited travel for a week! (5 days is $7, 3 days is $5, 1 day is $3) Services is every 20-30 minutes though so it may no be the best way to go but it’s nice to have another option. It operates 8am-10:30pm.

Murder Mystery Improv
http://www.sleuths.com/
What? That’s right. What happens when you combine a murder mystery and improv? Well I sure as hell hope to find out! Oh, and for the alcoholics in the group (Jon, Burton, Mindi): unlimited beer and wine. Shows at 7:30pm nightly plus an additional 8:30pm show on Saturday. Could this be my Birthday celebration? Maybe. Shows are 2.5 hours and include audience participation, sweet Jesus!

Duty
A 7-day absence allows you to bring back up to $750 CDN in goods, duty-free.

I suppose it’s about time I commented on this…

A few years ago a back-door deal was reached between the provincial Liberals and NDP to approve a pay hike that would circumvent legislative procedure. EVERY sitting MLA was aware of this and agreed to it. Then word got out to the public and media and suddenly Carole James had a change of heart when the masses started crying for blood. What kind of leadership does this show? Listening to the will of the people? No. This is noticing which way the wind is blowing and switching sides.

My immediate reaction to this was to download a list of all then-sitting MLAs and vow NEVER to vote for any of them ever again.

Seem a bit harsh? All they wanted was a raise. And the fact is had they just followed proper procedure to give themselves a raise I would have been okay with it. I might not have been thrilled but I would understand. But the thing that sits so poorly with me is how they were completely willing to violate the law (i.e. legislative procedures are set out in an Act if I’m not mistaken). I would expect this sort of thing from the provincial Liberals but the NDP?! It’s even worse for them because they, the opposition, had to work in secret with those who it is their mandate to oppose (it’s right there in the name) behind closed doors.

Not one single MLA spoke up or expressed ANY reservations about the plan. That makes them all equally responsible. Now it is a bit of a shame with regards to Adrian Dix because he’s done some really great work since then and nearly redeemed himself in my eyes. Thankfully I moved out of his riding though so I’m spared that moral dilemma next election cycle. But when news of this first came out I wanted to demand a refund for the donations I made to his campaign.

Frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes a bid to replace James as leader once they put her down.

So here we are, years later, and once again MLA pay increases are in the news. I read today that the bill was passed on the last day of the session and that debate on the issue was capped. Now the way they went about it this time was a bit better. It wasn’t back-door deals however the raises were made at the recommendation of a 3-person ‘independent’ advisory group hand picked by the premier that in no way reflected the average citizen’s views or demographics. But leave it the the provincial Liberals to not even play by their own rules as the final recommendation was done when one of the three people weren’t even in the province and over her objections!

And of course this pay hike is WAY higher than the previous attempt.

I’m also not particularly happy about the way the NDP handled dissent within their ranks. 3 NDP MLA abstained from the vote, one of which initially said he would vote in favour of the raise before being put down by James and doubtlessly the party whip. So I think it’s safe to assume those 3 were in favour of the raise. Meanwhile the Liberals encourage their party to have a free vote on the matter. They also made an opt-out option available to any MLA who wanted to refuse the pay hike.

Now the opt-out option was a one-time non-reversible option and it included the new pension plan. Carole James said they felt the pension plan was just but the raise was not so they would accept the raise but donate the overage to charity. And many of the MLAs have already followed suit and begun to donate the money. That’s all well and fine but it doesn’t negate complicity in past crimes.

Now you can’t give yourself a raise without taking a PR hit, that’s just a fact of self-regulated life. But who comes out looking worse in this little contest? Clearly the NDP has much more to lose as the provincial Liberals are already pretty shady and evil. I can’t even keep track of all the crimes the provincial Liberals have committed both as individuals and as an organization and yet somehow they keep getting a free pass from the electorate.

I wonder if Gordo drowned a puppy but said he was high on E at the time if it would affect the polls? Driving drunk and risking human lives didn’t seem to make any impact after all. But these are issues for another time.

So, am I surprised at recent events? No. Past history has established a very low bar of acceptable behaviour in the realm of pay raises for MLAs. Has recent events changed my mind about anything? No. I plan to continue to consult my downloaded list from the previous pay hike issue before voting but this thing was a provincial Liberal Juggernaut that couldn’t be stopped. God willing the electorate will wake up from their coma at some point and hold the provincial Liberals accountable but in the end we can each only be responsible for our own vote.

So when the next provincial election rolls around if the NDP candidate for my riding is on my no-vote list, it looks like I’ll be voting Green so long as their representative isn’t some crazy right-wing nut job.