Grazing Rites

Why do I work so hard to ’sell’ people on things like Orlando? For as long as I can remember I’ve come up with plans for fun things to do and then work my butt off to get people on board. I wonder where this tendency comes from? I guess I learned a long time ago that great things never happen to you. Parties don’t plan themselves and vacations rarely fall into your lap.

I’m not saying I’m the only person who does this. Burton’s become quite the vacation planner and deal finder and the second road trip to Edmonton was largely Jon’s show. Mindi put most of Mother’s Day together. But it’s almost like I need to have a plan in development. I like to think this is largely a benefit to those around me. I guess I’ve just always felt that things are better the more people partake.

Would Orlando be great with just Mindi and I? Of course. But how much more fun would it be with Jon? Definitely more laughs. What about Burton? Hitting up a club is always more fun with that guy. Sam? Easy going and cool. Josh? Great sense of humour. The more the merrier, not to mention cheaper. We can pool our talents, knowledge, experience, and resources. Plus we can take advantage of team splits.

For example Jon and Mindi like animals, I could care less so Sam/Josh/Shauna/Burton and I can hit the rides while they waste their time with the lower life forms.

Another day has come to a close for Jack Bauer so it seems a good time to look back and take stock of the season that just ended.

Prequel

The 10-minute prequel was interesting and entertaining but told us virtually nothing about what was to come, as such it succeeds as a vignette but fails as a prequel. In fact thus far the only prequel that was any good in my opinion was the prequel to season 4 which actually progressed the plot and had some great performances. The prequels for seasons 5 and 6 have just been car chases which I understand is how you pay for them but they could have done much more and still included a nice car chase.

Loose Ends

What was the “high price” they paid to get Jack back?!

Was Chase killed in the Valencia detonation? (He was last reported to be working for a security company located there)

Is Logan dead?

Is Phillip Bauer really dead? (the boat coming to get him could have made the pickup before the explosion)

Silent Clock?!

The Conclusion

Capturing Cheng was an interesting choice. Perhaps they thought he still had the circuit board but that wasn’t really their focus, had it been they would have at least inquired about the board or searched him.

Jack’s jump to the water, in my opinion, wasn’t well played. There was no sense of change or discovery in Kiefer’s portrayal. Perhaps this was intentional to make us wonder as Josh wonders but it just seemed a little lazy to me.

What will Bill and Karen do in the private sector I wonder? Revive Tony and Michelle’s old business?

Overall

I have to say this season ranks very high on the list. It seems that, among other things, 24 has inherited Star Trek tendency to have better luck with even numbers. Thus far seasons 2, 4, and 6 are vastly superior to any odd-numbered season. Seasons 2 and 6 both have their drawbacks though, Season 2 had some ridiculous Kim plots and Season 6 missed some great opportunities with respect to Assad and Milo who were both hugely underutilized in my opinion. Thus I have to rank the seasons, from best to worst: 4, 6, 2, 3, 1, 5.

Day 7 Musings (spoiler alert)

Within days of season 6 concluding information about day 7, both fact and rumour, already began to surface.

Confirmed cast would seem to include Jack, Chloe, Bill, and Audrey. This is interesting when combined with other rumours, on it’s own this information isn’t particularly noteworthy beyond my elation that Bill will not be left behind. Audrey seems to be an odd choice but further research indicates her show, The Nine, while well received by critics did not pan out and was canceled so perhaps she’s returning to her bread-and-butter as it were; also apparently she’s signed on for the movie.

Unconfirmed cast include Karen, Morris, Nadia, Noah, Tom, and Wayne. Karen and Morris are just natural extensions of Bill and Chloe being confirmed. Nadia I could see being completely rumour, again when combined with other rumours floating about. Noah, Tom, and Wayne I would all love to see back (although Noah to a lesser extent) and while I do feel that the white house intrigue plots have become a wee bit tiresome perhaps they’ll stop trying to make the white house such a soap opera and just have them deal with the global events instead of all the petty in-fighting.

Multiple sources seem to indicate that we will not see CTU next season. One would think this should be reasonably easy to confirm, all you’d have to do is find out if the set was still being used. All you need is one carpenter with a big mouth and no fear of non-disclosure agreements. Frankly I think this would be refreshing. 24 isn’t about CTU, it’s about Jack and to a lesser extent world events. I think getting away from CTU will force both the characters and the writers to innovate and whenever they do that, the outcome is usually awesome. But without CTU why ever would Nadia be back? Don’t tell me she’s the new NSA following Karen’s career path, that just wouldn’t be believable.

Apparently the show is trying to “reinvent” itself. This can be a good thing depending on the degree to which this is taken. As long as Joel Surnow and Robert Cochran are still at the helm I have faith that they’ll do the show and the audience justice. Watching the DVD special features you can’t help but develop enormous respect for these guys. They’re smart and they have a smart audience and they’re not afraid to respect our intelligence and force us to do some of the mental footwork to get to a better place.

Eric Balfour recently said “Jack’s going out in the field and they’re moving locations. It’s time for a new look and a change of scenery. That’s another reason I thought Milo needed to get out of there.” So it looks like for pretty much the first time ever a 24 actor has requested his character be killed off - usually they’re begging and pleading NOT to be killed off. Apparently he asked to be killed off so he could appear in Protect and Serve, a pilot for a CBS police drama co-starring Dean Cain - I give it 6 months. But moving locations is visually and dramatically a good idea, plus it helps with the suspension of disbelief - only so many things can happen in LA after all. However budgetarily and logistically it’s a nightmare, so leave it to the gang at 24 to find the most challenging way to do something, and then go and do it better than anyone else. So where would they be moving to? Obvious choices would be NYC and DC. Alternatively they could make it some nondescript area and just continue to shoot in LA but pretend it’s somewhere else.

Manny Coto had several interesting things to say about Day 7…

“There will not be a ticking clock on a nuclear device” Oh Manny, why do you have to give in to the hype? Granted there have been nukes in 3 of the 6 seasons thus far…and in each of the even-numbered ones…hmmm…maybe he has a point.

“We’re hewing much closer to real life: tighter, more personal, more difficult for Jack” Closer to real life sounds great, more personal definitely brings it back to more of a Season 1 feeling which was great, it set the stage after all. In a way events almost became too big at times. But more difficult for Jack? Sigh. While I intellectually understand the dramatic need to raise the stakes but really, how much more difficult can it get for him? Jack himself pointed out all the stuff he’s seen. More difficult. Pffft.

“There may even be a plot thread that doesn’t take place on U.S. soil” That would be nice and refreshing. Hmmm, there were rumours about the movie being filmed in London, I wonder if movie and season 7 rumours may have gotten mixed up. Either way this sounds like a cool idea to me.

“We’re going to be introducing a new stable of characters, along with a couple of old ones” This sounds promising. Just so long as we don’t end up with non-characters like the family Jack was living with at the start of Day 5. They were flat and boring and got dropped and forgotten fast.

“Jack’s not living under an alias. He’s found a place he thinks he belongs and a job he enjoys doing that doesn’t involve the government” Perhaps working with Bill and Karen? Maybe he’s a rancher in Montana. I mean really, anything is possible.

“What’s also refreshing is the choice of villain: It’s not a Muslim terrorist” Manny, Manny, Manny, what are you doing? Stop feeding the stereotypes. Let’s review bad guys:
Season 1: Serbians.
Season 2: Muslim Terrorists supported by US officials.
Season 3: Mexican Drug Cartel support by a former MI6 agent.
Season 4: Muslim Terrorists.
Season 5: Russian Terrorists supported by US officials.
Season 6: Muslim Terrorists supported by Russian officials and US businessmen.
So yes, half the time the bad guys were Muslim terrorists but even then they were never working alone. It’s far too simple a generalization to say that’s what 24’s always been about.

“In fact, it’s not a terrorist at all” This is also refreshing, also explains why CTU might not be in the picture.

“The character is fascinating, someone with a supremely dark past who’s done something horrific and whose ambition is to regain his stature in the world” Oh boy. Let’s start the list…
(in alphabetical order)
-Charles Logan (assuming he’s still alive and not actually reformed, perhaps psychotic)
-Cheng Zhi (China may have gotten him back)
-Eric Rayburn (Palmer only had him relieved)
-Miles Papazian (was going to be transferred to the white house under Logan)
-Noah Daniels (Palmer wanted his resignation after all)
-Philip Bauer (could still be alive)
-Reed Pollock (dodged the death penalty, maybe he had a few more cards in his deck)
-Roger Stanton (I would love to see Harris Yulin return)

Oh, the possibilities…

Or better yet, they find a cure for overdose, bullet to the head, and atomic bomb and bring Tony, Milo, and George back. That would be sweet.

So the expedia deal lasted about 4 days, the hotels.ca deal another 4 days, and now both of them are much more expensive, in the area of $150 more per person.

But all hope is not lost. I, your faithful blogger, have found that booking directly is now the way to go. For less than $20 more per person you can get the same vacation by booking directly with the airline and hotel. Frankly I would have preferred to do that myself because I’ve done it that way before and am more comfortable with  that level of control but I find comfort in the 62nd rule, “the riskier the road, the greater the profit“.

Hopefully the 48th rule, “the bigger the smile, the sharper the knife” won’t counteract the 62nd. Either way I take greater comfort from Burton’s previous Expedia expeditions. In fact it would be fair to say if it wasn’t for Burton I wouldn’t even be going on this trip. Although if we followed that line of reasoning if it wasn’t for Burton I’d probably be a penniless pauper dead in a gutter somewhere.

Seriously, without him I wouldn’t have been able to register for classes that year in Langara when he lent me his cell phone, or moved ever. The list goes on. He’s still in top running for man of the year - Jon better get his butt in gear if he wants to present a serious challenge. A good start would be offering to drive a rental car in Orlando - free shuttles are nice but we have to adhere to their schedules and they don’t go to Kennedy Space Centre.

Of course before all that he has to book his trip. He doesn’t have a Visa so that may be problematic but if he prints out prices from online and takes them in to a Flight Centre he can probably pay with debit.

What else can I do to encourage people to join us? Oh, I know. We need a theme song…

Toronto was Alanis Morrissette
Portland was Never Let Me Down by Depeche Mode
Edmonton was 54*40
Anaheim was Goo Goo Dolls
Toronto 2 was California by Wave (don’t ask)
Edmonton 2 was Family Guy
Europe was Will You Remember Me? By Michael Feinstein (yes mom, secret’s out)
Edmonton 3 was 24
Las Vegas was Everyday Is A Holiday by Esthero
Also various Seattle trips included Celebrity Jeopardy, Sarah McLachlan, Stop by Spice Girls, and Jacksoul.

So what does that leave? The temptation to use Pet Shop Boys is great but I think I need something more mainstream.

Here are some songs I’m considering…

Get It Together by Seal
Reason: Funky beat, danceable, “now’s the time for stepping out“, “love like we mean forever”
Meaning: Have fun together, make memories to last a lifetime
Drawback: Slow and irrelevant opening, repetitive

One Day In Your Life by 54*40
Reason: Rocks, “one day in your life shouldn’t be a problem…because it’s one day you might never be around here”
Meaning: You deserve a vacation and time with your friends because they won’t be here forever so seize the day
Drawback: 54*40 associated with other things, song associated with Canucks, morbid

Se A Vida É by Pet Shop Boys
Reason: Super upbeat, “come outside and see a brand new day”
Meaning: shake off dreary day-to-day life and discover a better way
Drawback: Non-English parts

Satisfied by Odds
Reason: Rocks, positive
Meaning: Life and friendship is good, enjoy both
Drawback: Encourages inaction and complacency

The Sodom And Gomorrah Show by Pet Shop Boys
Reason: Carnival-like, “Sun, sex, sin…I lived a quiet life, a stranger to champagne, I never dared to venture out to cities…the freedom and the time to play a life so easy it intrigued me when you called to say are you gonna go…it’s got everything you need for your complete entertainment”
Meaning: Try something new
Drawback: Sodomy

Vote now!

Perhaps it was the trip I took at age 13 with my father to Edmonton or maybe it was the trip to Squamish with my sister and Roger before that but whatever the genesis I’ve always enjoyed road trips. The more the better.

In fact if anyone’s looking for a navigator I come highly recommended if I do say so myself. I have a fair amount of experience, my research packages know as The Navigator’s Clipboard are immanently useful. I even have a power converter! My PDA can hold maps of any city. My 4.1 MP camera has over a gig of memory, 512 MB more and special lenses if my mommy doesn’t mind lending them.

But I digress. I meant it, I just could have expressed it at a better time.

So the original plan was to go to Edmonton in 1998 with Jon, Jeff, and Eric. It ended up being Jon and I going to Portland in 2000.

Jeff and Eric suck.

Why Portland? Well I have family there and it was near Christmas so free hotel and food. Besides it’s not the destination, it’s the journey - this is particularly true of road trips and virtually a complete lie of air travel. Also it was a reasonably tame goal for our first outing and being December we sure as hell weren’t going north.

We left as the first snow of the year began to fall. We went to the Super  Mall which it turned out, was not super at all. It was barely a mall. I was able to hack into a pay Internet terminal to get free net access though so it wasn’t a total loss. We saw Dude, Where’s My Car? And the promptly lost track of the car. Hilarity ensued.

Well, maybe not for Jon, it was his car.

We stayed at a Motel 6 on Military Road, Jon thought it was kismet. What it turned out to be was a lesson that “South Seattle” does not in fact have to be IN Seattle. Or anywhere near it for that matter.

We made it to Portland without incident and discovered that was where Spring was hiding. Back home they were setting snowfall records and toying with declaring a state of emergency.

The city was very pretty but there wasn’t much to do. We met a friendly hairstylist though. I’d tell you the rest but then I’d lose my most popular family and bar stories and violate my self imposed PG rating on my blog. I’ll let your imagination fill in the blanks until you can ask me about it in person.

In a recent entry I wrote “The flight(s) there will likely leave around 8am and arrive around 10pm. Yea, I know, 14 hours commute but that’s how the game goes.” but I forgot to account for time zones! The itinerary hotels.ca sent was all in local time of where we’ll be at the time and since we’re going from one coast to the other things actually aren’t so bad. This is how it breaks down for us…

Total Duration There: 10 hours, 37 minutes of which only 7 hours and 17 minutes is spent in the air (leaving 3 hours and 20 minutes to kill in terminals).

Total Duration Back: 8 hours, 15 minutes of which only 7 hours and 25 minutes is spent in the air (leaving only 50 minutes to kill in a terminal).

So round trip the added connections only add 4 hours and 10 minutes to the entire trip. That isn’t so bad. Plus it doesn’t look like there are any direct flights anyways.

Saw the BK kid again today, didn’t have much of a chance to talk to him but he seemed to be doing alright. It was game night and they were super busy and they were hugely understaffed, even the regular number of staff weren’t there. He was managing the insanity quite well, kept his sense of humour and was even pretty slick.

Would it be uncool if, next time I need to hire somebody, I tracked him down and gave him my card and a head’s up? I’m sure he could use the money with a kid on the way. He kinda reminds me of Mike Russo who had his flaws but by and large was fun to work with and a hard worker too…hmmm, Burton may have competition in the next hiring cycle for my department.

Damn, when you find a deal like my Orlando one you need to jump on it. I went back to Expedia a few days later and my great deal was $80 more per person! Thankfully I went through hotels.ca and found the same deal. Oddly enough it seemed like hotels.ca was just a front for Expedia as not only was the layout the same but you could even sort by Expedia picks.

Whatever, lower prices and just to make sure I gave their support hot line a call to see what the wait time was like and got a human in under 90 seconds!

The terms DO say price can change without warning but I asked and that’s only prior to booking. Once your itinerary number has been created your price is locked in. They can’t guarantee the room will be exactly as requested but other than that it seems reasonably risk-free. We do have 2 connections on the way there and one on the way back but as Mindi said, that’s how you get the crazy deal.

So here’s how to get the crazy deal, now that we’re booked I’m happy to share details. Go to hotels.ca and choose the air & accommodation option. Select Orlando and a departure date of Sept 20th anytime and a return of Sept 26th anytime. Then select the Day’s Inn near Universal.

The flight(s) there will likely leave around 8am and arrive around 10pm. Yea, I know, 14 hours commute but that’s how the game goes. I’ll bring my PDA, DS (with New Super Mario Bros & Tactical Assault), and my ultimate mp3 collection. I’ll get Mindi to bring her DVD player. Jon may have his laptop by then. There will be plenty of entertainment options however it may be a bit much for any kids.

Jon, I’ll even play backgammon or watch Heroes, that’s how committed I am. Although I’d prefer Guillotine and The Unit. Hell, improv games in the terminal anyone? Just don’t say “bomb” in your scene.

A little time on my hands and an Internet connection is all it takes to give birth to great plans.

7 days in Orlando for less than $575 Canadian. Less than $85 a day for flight and accommodations. Both Universal Studios theme parks AND the water park all within walking distance. Free shuttles to Disney World and Sea World.

Who wouldn’t be interested in that?

Besides the mentally ill and the poor I mean.

Jon could bring Max for less that $1,200 - that’s less than 15% of his anticipated severance package. Mindi could go for a similar percentage of her savings. My portion would cost less than 6% of my liquid assets, less than 2% of my net worth - I’ll make more in interest this year!

So, from that point of view, it’s almost free.

Now granted I’m not including expenses so these figures don’t tell the whole story. In Vegas for example my expenses seemed to average $100 USD a day but I was mostly paying for two and many things we did like The Experience, Second City, and Wolfgang Puck’s weren’t cheap. And then there was the buffet, I do love a good buffet…but I digress.

Although I do have my secret stash of US cash so that shan’t be much of an issue for me at least.

Everyone pays their own way this trip though.

Oh, and we’d leave the day before my birthday. And Universal has night clubs.

There was a woman getting on the bus without paying on my way to work today. The bus driver called her on it and she started yelling “It’s your MANDATE to take us home! Your MANDATE! And you know it!”

Um, yea, but not for free.

It’s my mandate to manage my department, that doesn’t mean I provide the service free of charge. We’ve all got families to feed - what makes her so special? You know, besides being crazy.

It’s like those stinking APC people who think they can stalk and harass the VANOC board members at their homes but that’s a subject for another day.

But it’s all part of the same culture of entitlement (not in the way the Conservatives used that phrase to bash the Liberals), it’s like there’s an entire class (socio-economic class I mean) of people who think they should not have to put any effort into anything and have everything handed to them. IF we lived in a communist utopia we could tolerate that but in our current capitalist system in which we all currently must live it just puts a strain on everyone else.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your rights end where everyone else’s begins. You claim you have a right to free public transit, which isn’t exactly a bad idea it just isn’t true, but I have a right not to have to pay for you being a freeloader. Granted different circumstances of this philosophy I’d take different approaches to like instances of a true social safety net but this woman had just come out of brunch at a restaurant on Main Street, she’s not exactly poor she’s just lazy and that shouldn’t be tolerated.

And where does she think her knowledge of the word “mandate” is the secret password to free bus rides?

I would have reamed her out myself but I was on my way to work and thus branded with corporate logos.

But the next time I’m on the bus on a day off and someone tries to ride for free, watch out because the driver’s going to have some backup.

The other day I remarked how it was incredibly stupid in my opinion that we don’t call Rome or Vienna by the names which the locals know them as. If you were looking for Vienna the signs that read Wien would likely escape your notice and your quest would be without end. Roma being Rome is easy enough to deduce but it’s still inexcusable to disrespect and disregard their identity so.

Names can be anything, spelled any way and pronounced completely differently. It’s one area in which independent spelling and pronunciation rules don’t apply. If Prince can be a symbol why can’t we respect the self-identification of these cities?

In fact much of Italy was once comprised of city-states so you could almost call it national identity in Rome’s case. Yea, there’s also the Vatican but I’m not going to get into the whole ball of wax except to use it to bump the number of countries I’ve visited up by one (currently at 10: Canada, US, Holland, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, Italy, Vatican, France, and saving the best for last, UK).

Hey, it’s not like they’re using non-greco-roman (insert irony here) characters. If this were Korean, Japanese, Chinese, or even Russian you might have a case but not here.

And these cities are far older than, you know, North America; so who are we not to call these places by the correct names? They have seniority!

I’m also not touching the religious aspect of God telling man to give names to everything in creation, it’s a moot point anyways since man already gave these places names, we’re just getting it wrong.

And this whole thing feeds into the stereotype of stupid North Americans (mostly Americans) knowing nothing about and generally disrespecting Europe.

I launched into a pretty decent rant on this subject the other day when my significant other of German descent felt the need to point out that it was my people, the English, who renamed these places.

Well, alright then.

That makes it okay.

What? We beat them. It was the British EMPIRE, after all. Ruled most of the known world for awhile. To the victor the spoils, we chose naming rights.

I suppose using that logic the Germans could have ‘reinterpreted’ names of places in France and Poland for example. Oh well, too late now. Missed your chance. Might let you have another go at France though, they could use some straightening out.

Besides, to paraphrase Gul Dukat, the English don’t make mistakes.

Well, except for Tony Blair’s friendship with Bush and Robby Williams’ career. Call those a mulligan and a footnote.

I also hate yarfing in my office. Bah.

Why is there neon yellow fluid inside me?

Why did it want to leave?

Be glad you weren’t me today.

Got our free tickets to the first game of the Memorial Cup yesterday. The baby-sitter’s been arranged and my 54*40 t-shirt dug out of mothballs. Looks like we’re ready to go. So we’re getting a free hockey game, lower bowl no less, and a free concert with 54*40 and the recently re-formed Odds all this Friday. Definitely makes the week easier to take knowing this particular light is at the end of the tunnel, not that this week has proven to be particularly hard to begin with.

I already booked Friday off so I can be rested.

I’m hoping we can get some pretty good positioning for the concert. It’s probably a bit much to hope we’ll get as good a spot as Kim and I had the last time I saw 54*40 (also for free care of my work) at the Plaza Of Nations - we were front row centre. It was awesome, crowd surfers were floating above us, the band like a metre away, I think I even got hit with band sweat. Okay, I can probably do without that last one.

Last night I got out my old 54*40 and Odds CDs, I hadn’t converted many of them to mp3 but the process is underway. Since I only had a handful of 54*40 tracks and only one Odds track on mp3 I had kinda forgotten how many awesome songs both bands have.

For 54*40 it’s easy to remember concert hits like Lies To Me, Love You All, and Ocean Pearl. And thanks to my road trip videos I’ll never forget Crossing A Canyon which is another awesome track - actually the rule with 54*40 is the songs are okay canned but amazing live, with this one particular song I think you can experience it’s entire awesomeness canned. And of course Hootie wouldn’t let us forget I Go Blind. But tracks like Since When, which itself is great, easily fade in one’s memory - it’s for the best I suppose since it allows you to re-discover them later.

And with Odds I think everyone remembers Eat My Brain but easily forgotten but totally wonderful are tracks like Radios Of Heaven and Oh Sorrow, Oh Shame.

This is going to be freaking sweet.

It’s been a good year for concerts for me already with my row 7 on the floor experience with Jon at BNL in February. I was looking through the pictures and videos I took at the show, I should post them at some point so people can get a sense for how awesome being that close can be. As Jon once said, “I can feel the jealousy growing within you…” (that prick still has yet to lend me his Transformers DVDs)

Oh and I was poking around wikipedia today and discovered that apparently Hootie & The Blowfish have a contract to perform each New Year’s in Las Vegas…hmmm…I’m not saying I could pull off (read:afford) both that and Orlando but if for some reason Orlando fell through I can just say screw you all and take off to Vegas at the end of the year…it’s good to have contingency plans. They’re also going to be performing in Red Deer (RED DEER?!) on July 19th…and Las Vegas on June 9th as well…Anaheim July 28th…San Diego the 29th…I wonder what PSB is up to…

I’m constantly amazed by my workplace. Sometimes in not-so-positive ways but more often than not their generosity both in terms of tangibles as well as of spirit. Granted there have been specific individuals and situations by which I got royally screwed but these are few and far between, if occasionally major. But lately in particular I’m frequently surprised but things the organizing in general and specific people in particular have done.

They decorated my office on my birthday and got me ice cream cake, my old department sent me not one but two good luck and congratulations cards when I got my current position. My years of service pins arrived last week. Recently I was able to get my hands on several hockey tickets for me, my business contacts, and a few friends. Late last week I managed to get a couple tickets to the memorial cup which includes a Giants game and a 54-40 concert featuring the recently re-formed Odds.

When my son was born they sent flowers. And not small flowers either.

Well today I came to work to discover a bundle of joy for my bundle of joy on my desk. So this time the fair saw fit to provide…
(be advised I don’t know the proper names for most of these)
-2 Golf Shirts (6 months and 12 months)
-2 Piece Set (clothes of some kind I presume)
-2 Sesame Street Burp Pads
-3 Pairs Terry Booties
-5 Flannel Receiving Blankets
-A Card
-Cargo Shorts (12 months)
-Johnson’s Take along Pack (Shampoo and stuff)
-Jumper (3-6 months)
-Khaki Pants (6-9 months) sweet
-Sleeper (6 months)
-Top (6-9 months)
-Winnie the Pooh Fleece Blanket

Is it any wonder why I’ve worked here for going on 11 years? It’s not just the incentives, it’s the thought behind them.

As the title indicates this is the 300th entry in my blog. By and large this has been a positive experience, I’ve been able to share my thoughts and feelings with the people I care about as well as total strangers, it’s brought me closer to some people and clarified my stance on a number of issues.

Now I need a subject to write about that is equal to the task of doing justice to the 300th post.

My kid projectile vomited all over me again today, worse than before, this time I was covered from sternum to butt crack. I just went straight to the shower.

What?

It seems my recent adventure in interviewing wasn’t all for naught after all. It was also not what I thought. The exercise was exactly that, an exercise. Given the speed at which the dominoes fell after the decision was handed down the outcome was assured before the process began. While by no means a certainty, let’s for the moment assume this is the case.

Then why go through the process? Procedure wasn’t followed for the dominoes that fell after so it couldn’t be due process. Perhaps then the appearance of same? The conclusion is nearly inescapable, they humoured us.

But what then of recent behavior? Such effort being expelled to ensure I understand my worth? The constant assurance of a bright future? The meetings with my superiors? The cryptic advice from my boss to look at my current position as a learning opportunity before returning whence I came?

Hints have been dropped that while the process was largely a front there was one thing they weren’t counting on. Yes, they expected me to apply but it seems they never thought I’d do so well. In fact given that I apparently had someone on the inside lobbying for my interview, at the risk of sounding immodest, the point of the whole exercise may very well have been me.

I was the only X factor. Everything and everyone else was known, including the outcome it would seem. I was a mystery. Apparently my actions and methods had long been a source of confusion and consternation. It seems my advocate had a negative view of me but given recent successes and professionalism in my new post, to say nothing of bringing a department under budget for the first time in history, put this individual in the mood to re-assess his opinion of me.

What was I thinking? What was the logic behind what I did? How much was me and how much was policy dictated from above? Who am I? What do I want? Where am I going? What am I capable of? But mostly the Why’s, the motivations, and the philosophy.

Apparently I turned the negative view completely around. A detractor became a supporter.

Alright, that was all part of the plan, why is this news?

Multiple signs seem to indicate this story isn’t finished yet. it may not even be on hold. Opinion in some quarters is that things could drastically change for me as soon as weeks from now. All a direct consequence of my interview it would seem.

My girlfriend was suffering from a migraine last night while my son discovered the unparalleled joys of projectile vomiting so I was forced to cancel my golf plans with Jon to stay home with them until my mother was able to come over and look after them both. Since that did not occur until late in the day we decided to go see a movie instead. Jon wanted to see some independent film but I vetoed that and lobbied for Next instead.

It was a good film, I definitely recommend it. The ending was somewhat unfufilling but very original. I really hope they make a sequel but given that it came out against Spider-man 3, which I have yet to see, it’s box office performance is likely to suffer. It had a good story that could have moved a little faster but was still very engaging. The special effects were nice but not in any way cumbersome or overdone.

One of my staff presses the wrong button causing a machine to lose it’s calibration. I tell another of my staff to restart the machine but she can’t find the power button so she pulls the power bar out of the wall causing the computer to reboot. I’m the only person with sufficient access to log back into the computer. The result? Going to work on my day off.

Once operation has been restored I figure I should put in a few hours to make the commute worthwhile. I go to my regular Subway at an irregular time on an irregular day to discover a lineup going out the door. So I head to the backup, BK.

Once there the kid behind the register asks me 3 times if my order is to go when I clearly said it was not in my initial order. He acknowledged the error and commented that he was tired due to lack of sleep. In a similar position myself I commiserate with the lad. He waited up until his girlfriend got home at 2am and then had to get up at 6am for work. I have a newborn, 5 days old with a voice to rival a car alarm.

He leans over and tells me he’s going to be a dad himself but he hasn’t told anyone yet. Not wanting to spill the beans to his coworkers I just say “yea, I hear ya, that’s where I was at a few months ago“. I suppose his secrecy gave me just cause not to say “congratulations” which suited me just fine. It’s not that I disagree with the sentiment but he’ll be hearing that enough in the months to come.

There’s something about large groups of people all saying the same thing that rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I just don’t like seeing people behaving like cattle, going with the herd and all that. Plus it lends itself to stereotyping and thusly seems to make it harder to be an individual. But I digress.

Once again I find it hard not to compare our situations. His girlfriend works until 2am every night and he works the cash register at BK. He’s a good kid though, he cracked a few jokes and seemed more aware than most people after a full night’s sleep. Frankly I toyed with the idea of recruiting him. He’ll make it work though.

Why not round 2 predictions? Because every prediction I made about round 1 came true! In the words of Stephen Colbert…

I CALLED IT!!!

There was no need to make round 2 predictions because I had already accurately predicted the makeup of the second round.

That, however, was where the clairvoyance ended. However my predictions for the second round were correct in 2 out of 4 series - that’s not bad. So, time for round 3 predictions…

Eastern Conference

Buffalo vs Ottawa - Ottawa

Western Conference

Detroit vs Anaheim - Detroit

So in conclusion my revised prediction is that Ottawa will win the cup in a contest with Detroit.

Hopefully no more revisions will be needed, one is enough for me.

Someone recently posed some questions via e-mail which I suspect (read: fear) I’ll be asked alot in the near future so I thought I best address them here and try to cut the rampaging hordes off at the pass.

When is your girlfriend and son expected to be out of the hospital (if they’re not out already)?

They’re out already.

How did it feel to become a dad?

Warm, bright, a little dizzy. We were in the operating room and I was in scrubs which included a face mask so very warm and bright.

Was it as much of a life altering experience as you thought it would be?

As much as I expected it to be? Yes, more or less. As much as other people made it out to be? No. Don’t get me wrong I love my son and it was a unique experience but it didn’t change absolutely everything about me. I still enjoy the same things I used to, I still have 2 arms and 2 legs, my skin didn’t turn green, no head explosions. I still watch Doctor Who on Sundays and 24 on Mondays. I still like Pet Shop Boys and pizza and chocolate. I still enjoy my job and my relationships with most people are more or less what they were before.

People seemed to revel, almost maniacally, at the looming all-encompassing life-altering experience. I don’t know why they do that. It’s like they’re enjoying trying to make you face an abyss, shoving your face into it as it were. It seems rather perverse if you ask me. Did having a son change the nature of who I am? No, it just added to it a little. The heavens didn’t open up, angels didn’t sing, I didn’t fall to my knees weeping with joy. The instant of his birth did not cause some sort of fundamental metamorphosis.

Again, he’s a great kid and I love him but let’s not make this into something it isn’t.

If things change it will be a series of small steps determined as much by his emerging personality as mine.

Now the epidural on the other hand, that nearly broke me but that was the result of several factors, mostly the completely unnecessary 13 hour delay we encountered due to a nursing shortage. That, however, is a discussion for another time.

I think it would be nice if it stopped being about how things did or did not change for me and became more about finding out what the little guy is like.

Communication is a powerful thing. Changing how we communicate has frequently redefined the world we live in. A lack of communication on the other hand can really be a pain in the donkey.

I found out today that half of the new program that was supposed to revolutionize (and integrate I might add) my department had been shelved and as a result recent work I had done not only was invalidated but annoyed the project manager, soured a relationship with a business contact, and cost the company nearly $3,000. All because someone made a decision that would make a huge negative impact on me and my staff and neglected to tell anyone!

The old question “if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound?” is open to interpretation. But if you make a decision and don’t tell anyone IT DOESN’T COUNT!

You can hardly get annoyed at someone for following your instructions that you countermanded IN YOUR HEAD.

Oh and the answer to that tree question? Only if there’s a sound engineer on the project.

It amazes me that a bunch of wheeling and dealing on my part to save the company 3 grand can be undone because someone couldn’t be bothered to send an e-mail or make a phone call!

I’m thinking I could be a Project Manager.

If nothing else the bar for communication and follow-up seems quite low. We’re talking Suliban limbo bar low.

In my defense I wasn’t the one who sent the e-mail in question, it was my boss but the entire content of the message was work I had done.

Was my work wrong? No. So how does an e-mail cost $3,000? Apparently it triggered 20 man-hours of unauthorized work at $145 per man-hour.

Now how does that become waste? The Project Manager decided to switch companies and do that work later. Neither me, my boss, our department liaison, or the business contact was aware of this. As far as I can determine no one knew and prior to the e-mail nothing had occurred as a result of this decision. A decision made in a vacuum shared with No one that changes nothing…does IT make a sound?

Oh, and the goal of this ninja-invisible decision?

Save the company money.

This whole induction thing has some odd consequences. For one thing you pretty much know the kid’s birthday, April 27th or perhaps 28th. For another you know the last day before you’ll become a parent. Okay, yes, the length of labour could push that back a bit but days spent in the hospital hardly count.

You know it’s interesting, within moments of birth we’re already converted into heartless numbers. Pounds, dates, a social insurance number for the RESP…The closer the big day gets the more convinced I become that I am NOT going to reveal my son’s birth weight to the world. I’ve always disliked how the first thing, or perhaps second if gender is unknown, that everyone seems to ask is the weight.

I get it that the number is somewhat tied to the baby’s health and the ordeal the mother went through but really…my baby’s not a fish. I’m not going to be posing for pictures holding him by his feet with a tape measure. Silly cultural idiosyncrasy.

So what am I doing the day before? Wearing blue jeans against my will. Stupid charity. Why force us to wear uncomfortable clothes for a $5 donation? How about I give you $20 and I get a receipt for my taxes and wear whatever the hell I want? You get more money, I get a tax break, and my jeans can gather more dust. It’s win-win across the board.

What about those pricks at Levis? Ha! They’re owned by Dockers. So there goes that argument. No one loses. Why not have a wear your khakis to work day? Again make it a $20 donation so we get the tax break…now all we need is a charity.

So I’ve decided what the first goal the swear jar will work towards: digital cable. Then depending on how successful that is we’ll look at other things like a PVR or a Wii. The philosophy behind the jar states the funds are to be used for the enjoyment of the family, digital cable while nice will also have better parental controls so there’s a practical aspect to it as well.

Actually looking at how quickly the fund is growing we may need more ambitious goals.

Rich potty mouths welcome.

Current Totals
My girlfriend - $10 (owed)
Me - $6 (paid)
Carole - $1 (paid)
Isabella - $1 (paid)

Inscrutable said this to me after a meeting today. One thing I had hoped was that he and I might have an opportunity to bury the hatchet and I think this qualifies. We had a bit of a minor misunderstanding right near the end of my time in Ops and never really had a chance to resolve it.

But there’s more to it than that. Everything has nuance these days. Details are important. For example he said this to me as I was standing next to someone who they had interviewed on the same day and he didn’t even acknowledge her existence. And what’s more my former boss was standing next to her and was similarly ignored. Could mean nothing, could mean a lot.

It could mean nothing because he works with both of them far frequently than I. Were he interested in commenting to either of them he may have already done so or will make use of ample opportunity ahead.

It could be good because it seemed like a sincere compliment. In that regard it meant a lot. If nothing else, a tertiary objective accomplished.

It could be bad vis-a-vis my non-existent chances because he could be laying track for what they would think I would see as bad news.

Some other things struck me as odd. The two women were openly discussing the interview, which of the 3 of us only my former boss had yet to take, within earshot of him! They didn’t seem to care and neither did he. Far be it for me to judge my elders and superiors but that seemed unprofessional in the extreme and not just a little bit rude.

Never one not to take advantage of an opportunity I ‘overheard’ parts of the conversation including some questions she had been asked. None were the same as mine. I even mentioned this and my former boss suggested they were tailoring the interviews to examine our weaknesses. It also seems I’m the only one of the three to have done any kind of preparation. One didn’t even have a current resume!

I found myself wondering if they actually wanted the job.

It’s interesting, I had heard a rumour that they had 3 specific candidates in mind before even posting the position. I wonder, what if it were us 3? That would have been ironic. But it was good, the 3 of us sitting together, working together on a project, and sharing some laughs. The very antithesis of cold adversaries locked in competition which we aren’t. We’ve worked together well in the past and with a little luck will again.

So almost all of my fears have been lifted. So long as the front line folks in the rumour mill are well informed there shouldn’t be any misunderstandings.

And, as always, the fair will provide. All you have to do is serve with honour to share it’s bounty.

Note: We’re home from the hospital now, no longer blogging in real time.

I’ve been sent home from the hospital as I’ve developed a bit of a cold. I’ll be headed back early tomorrow as the current plan is for my girlfriend and son to be released sometime tomorrow.

Things are good, still facing some challenges with feeding but otherwise things are good. Haedy was an enormous help on the feeding front. Speaking of which if you’re looking to help support those who support us, here’s a great place to start:

http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR?px=1096064&pg=personal&fr_id=1203

You’ll be rewarded at tax time for your generosity. This is a cause very dear to my girlfriend’s heart so I’m sure she’d love to come home tomorrow, or whenever, to see people supporting the walk.

And since I’m asking for things I’ll update the stuff we need list which still includes Charmin TP for home and professional baby photos (not really a need but I think my girlfriend and the Grandmas can really get behind this idea, packages start at $15) but I’d also like to add a cutlery tray that can fit in a drawer 24cm x 39cm for the kitchen at home.

Thank you all for your support, my son and the rest of us are all the better for it.