Keep It Rare
“Too much of anything, even love, isn’t necessarily a good thing” -James T. Kirk
One of the things that seemed crazy to me, and indeed one of the expecting mothers as well, at our prenatal classes was this idea that the fathers-to-be would PLAN to constantly tell their partners that they were beautiful throughout the third trimester. One guy went so far as to suggest writing a list of compliments and then just rotate through them! Another suggested using MS Outlook to schedule calls home to check on their partners every 2 hours when the fathers-to-be are at work.
At what point does that cease being thoughtful and become patronizing? Rather early on I should think. Even if they were to keep this plan a secret from their partners, none of which were going to as they were all too proud of their idea to stay quiet, if the mothers-to-be had half a brain they’d figure it out. What’s more if such behaviour was so foreign to the men that they’d need to write instructions for themselves and put it on a timetable the behaviour should stick out even more.
So not only are these gents behaving in a way that is completely forced and false to themselves but they’re doing so on the premise their partners are stupid!
Perhaps this is one of those it’s-the-thought-that-counts moments but if you ask me upon deeper reflection those thoughts stink. At least they’re preparing to be a parent, practicing treating their partners like children and all. I recommend these fellas look up the word ‘paternal’.
My girlfriend knows I think she’s beautiful. She doesn’t need to be reminded from a script every 2 hours. Granted I could probably express that thought more often than I do but saying it only when it specifically occurs to me and the spirit moves me makes it more special and respectful.
They say “keep it real“, which is a laudable goal but I suggest we also keep it rare. Regimented, regulated sincere thoughts repeated too often lose their power.
If I told her she looked great every day, out of some sort of habit, then what would I say when she looks exceptional?
So, yes, I COULD lavish everyone with an unending stream of compliments but I think I’d rather keep it real and rare, so that when I DO have something to say, you’ll know I mean it. And in turn I’d like to think it’ll mean more.
