Fear Of A Blog Planet
I fear I may have been a wee bit harsh in my blanket condemnation of anyone who dare offer any childrearing advice. As Chef says, “I meant it, I just could have expressed it better“.
It seems some people felt I was outing them by quoting them in my previous entries of complaint. As I tried to make clear, no one person had really done anything wrong - it was the aggregate result that was the problem. I was just trying to cite specific examples in the hopes that I would be better understood.
Now it seems people fear any baby stuff they say will end up in a blog entry the next day. Well, for one thing if I quoted you in an entry and you’d rather I didn’t I CAN go back and edit at your request. More to the point though, not every quote in my blog is negative. Thus I present some positive things I’ve heard recently…I will kept the comments anonymous though, just to be safe.
“In the end, we can only hope to be true to ourselves and live our lives with integrity” I have a fridge magnet that would agree with you. And that is by no means meant to take away from the statement. I was, after all, the one who picked out the magnet in question.
“Babies are not really all that expensive” Where were you months and months ago? Thus far you’re the only person to have this opinion so be warned, there are rampaging hordes ready to disagree with you. I appreciate the comment nevertheless.
“I think you and Mindi are brave but smart for getting on with life” Praise is always welcome. Well, so long as it’s intelligent and not a Full House moment. I AM demanding, aren’t I?
“It is so very lovely to see you supporting Mindi…It was not a role men seemed to care to take <in the past>. That is definitely a step in the right direction for the benefit of the offspring of such Dads and I think to the benefit of the Dads, as well. I know you will be very good at it…May your little darling have the same sunny, smiling disposition you had as a baby. If not, well, hey, serious babies are fun too in a different way.”
In conclusion here are 3 helpful hints to determine if your baby advice will be poorly received…
1) If the advice will not be useful or relevant within the next 3 months it’s best to sit on it until a more appropriate time, my memory is crap - this has been well documented.
2) If it sounds like a platitude/cliché, it’s probably not news. Furthermore if it could just as easily be found in a fortune cookie, greeting card, horoscope, or Brady Bunch episode it’s not likely to inform overly much.
3) If it’s condescending I don’t care if it’s next week’s lotto numbers the information likely won’t find a warm reception. If you find yourself asserting that there is a right and a wrong way to do something, try rephrasing it as a good idea or suggestion rather than a command or instruction. If it requires you to imply I can’t fix a straw if it was bent, best hit the abort button.
So as long as your unsolicited advice doesn’t run afoul of those 3 checks and balances you should be okay.
When in doubt, send it in an e-mail that does not imply it warrants an immediate response and then I can read it when I’m in the right frame of mind.
Now perhaps we can stop living in fear of the Blog.
And one last parting quote for today’s entry to keep in mind…
“There is no exact science to parenting“
