Beware Light Cheese
I had a slight falling out with Pizza Hut during the recent boil water advisory. Due to the full advisory recommended against washing dishes I was relying on ordering in a bit more than usual. When I ordered Pizza Hut the cheese in the stuffed crust was horrible. It was damp and like it came out of a tube or something. it made cheese whiz look like fine dining. I was crushed, stuffed crust pizza had been one of my favorite foods since A Final Unity.
Maybe it was a one off but I don’t really want to risk having to endure that again and try as I might I can’t get my cognitive dissonance to think it was somehow the water advisory’s fault.
Flash forward to after the advisory and I’m using some cheddar cheese on something, it doesn’t taste entirely right but I don’t really think much of it.
A few days later I’m grating some more cheddar and the cheese stinks, I had only had it a couple of days but it was rank. Then when I sit down to eat it, it tastes just like the crap from the stuffed crust. I sat back on my couch in terror.
“My god, am I starting to dislike cheese?” I wondered aloud, “no, that can’t be right“. Determined, I got up and went to the fridge looking for answers and after several minutes there it was: LIGHT cheese. The word ‘light’ was in a small font made up of orange and white on an orange and white label. How could a reasonable person expect to see that? Frankly I doubt either my girlfriend or mother posses sufficient vision to even see it, at any distance.
Therefore I am getting the word out: avoid light cheese at all costs! It stinks and saying it tastes like ass would be a compliment! I don’t care if it makes me need-a-crane-to-get-out-of-bed fat I’m never having this light crap again. I would sooner die of heart problems because a world where I have to eat light cheese isn’t one I could bare to live in.
