Day Six - Vegas Exploration
Another visit to the buffet for breakfast/lunch and we headed out to explore Vegas in greater detail…it turns out they have more than just The Experience.
We took Burton’s advice and got day passes for the monorail which didn’t quite go as expected. For one thing at the other end of the monorail was another monorail but not connected or included, they justified this by calling it a tram. On the positive side of things Mindi realized that passes weren’t good for the day of purchase but rather good for a 24 hour period beginning at the moment of purchase.
We walked through the MGM Grand which was very nice, we even saw the lions. Then we trekked over to Mandalay Bay, Mindi wanted to see the sharks but she found the price prohibitive. Then came the long walk to the Hard Rock.
Now before I continue and you lambaste me for making my pregnant girlfriend go through this ordeal I want to make it clear that she was the driving force between the rest of the day’s journey.
First we had to pass the army of pimps.
That’s right, saw my first pimp. Basically rows of shady looking characters who don’t speak English line the sidewalk trying to give you cards advertising prostitutes and strippers…”gotta catch em all” takes on a whole new meaning.
It’s not just, presumably Mexican, guys either; 40-something overweight women wearing orange t-shirts advertising strippers are among their number. Thanks but no I don’t want to rent your daughter.
From this depressing example of society on decline we got to walk through several blocks of poorly lit construction. Suffice to say the Personal Assessment of Threats to the Safety of Yours truly (or PATSY) radar was operating at full power.
Once there we met a hyperactive and incredibly insincere hostess named Ashley. She was the embodiment of ‘Aggressively Friendly’, Mark would have loved her. She made a point of getting to know the names of everyone in the party before us, go so far as insisting to shake each person’s hand. Mindi was giving off bad vibes enough to create a protective barrier around herself so she was spared personal contact at first, I wasn’t so lucky.
I’m probably not doing a very good job conveying just how obnoxious this person was, you probably think I’m being harsh but try to remember the movie Office Space. Remember Jennifer Aniston’s character’s coworker? The keener blonde kid with all the flare? Picture a female version without buttons but on Red Bull. She was so off-putting that when our normal and sincerely friendly waiter came by we were I hope understandably cautious and reserved.
Then the video for YMCA came on at triple volume. Just as I was about to apologize for this bizzaro Hard Rock I noticed a waitress on a table. I looked around the restaurant to find that all the staff had tapped into their inner gay guy from the disco era and was either dancing perfectly to the song or standing on a table and singing. I thought to myself “given the things I’ve heard about Vegas if this is the weirdest it gets, I’m actually getting off pretty easy“.
Then the kitchen staff came out and formed a line. Mindi and I became experts at taking a sip of our drinks when any of the staff got near lest they pull us on top of something. Oddly enough Ashley was not to be found among the revelers.
After finishing our meal we walked back to the strip to watch the fountain show at the Bellagio. I was impressed but strong winds also left me rather damp which I didn’t mind but forced me to become an expert at timing to protect my camera.
