Stress
My boss mentioned months ago that we should be self-aware of how we deal with stress. I figured after the things I’ve been through nothing they could throw at me would phase me and until the last couple weeks nothing had.
Accusations of slave labour, sexual innuendo from a woman twice my age, and a disreputable company’s threats of sending a collection agency after us all seemed pretty tame and more a source of amusement rather than stress. Then as this month began I found myself stressing. Not to the levels I encountered regularly in my old job but it was enough to make me behave less than professionally a couple of times.
Why did I lose my cool? I’ve been through worse without huffing and puffing about it. After some introspection I think I figured it out. In the past I was part of a united front solving problems that needed solving. What was bothering me so much was that many of the problems were the result of the people who should have been helping. Stupid mistakes, laziness, and inexperience mostly and generally by people with equal or greater authority than my own.
Now I’m not trying to shirk my responsibility, I’ll admit I could have done more and made my team work harder but I frankly didn’t accurately predict the level of incompetence I encountered from those who, while not directly above me in the chain of command, have a higher rank and more years of experience than myself.
To use an analogy it’s like an army general being put in charge of a volunteer community police force in a riot - varying levels of experience, training, aptitude and commitment having to deal with your own people in a less than rational state without clear authority or well-established procedures.
Fun times.
But I already see my team rising to the challenge and we’ll be stronger and wiser for having been through it such that next year will be MUCH smoother. Now if I can just get the people we have to deal with in line…
