Grazing Rites

A week ago I made the observation that I hadn’t seen either of my crazy neighbours in quite some time (one of whom I discussed in ‘Consequences’), about a week and a half. It was like living in a normal apartment building. Doors kept closed and locked, quiet at night, and, oh yea, no crazies. After the first week or so I began to wonder what had happened to them.

I wouldn’t characterize myself as ‘concerned’ per se but rather curious and mildly apprehensive that they’d return crazier than ever - is there such a thing as a sabbatical for the mentally unstable?

I’ll be honest, if both of them dropped off the face of the earth never to return I wouldn’t mind overly much. He is a complete drain on society - unappreciative and unrepentant. He is perhaps only the second person I have ever met that gives nothing to the world. He takes, he drinks, and he swears but beyond that he is absent from existence. A black hole personified - although he emits great waste and foul language instead of gamma and x rays.

If he were to disappear society would improve by the most marginal of degrees and it gives me no pleasure to say so. She on the other hand is something else. She’s crazy but concerned, a drinker who wants to improve conditions for herself and others. She can be a useful ally and an annoyance. In the end I figure she’s more hassle than benefit.

During the couple weeks when they were gone it was great. It hadn’t been that normal in the building in over a year. Shortly after I made this revelation the end of the month arrived and I received a call from the landlord. He was wondering where they had disappeared to. Now the last time I saw the crazy guy the cops were talking to him so I figured he’d just as likely been in jail, which suited me fine. The landlord said he had spoken to him earlier in the day, it was the female he was looking for, I told him I hadn’t seen her.

A few days later the crazy guy had indeed returned and as I feared took things up a notch. He was yelling, screaming, and swearing in the hallway like before but the subject matter was decidedly more random. Before he would curse and scream at the injustices allegedly perpetrated against him by the world that didn’t subscribe to his hippie ideology. This time he was yelling about how people don’t know who Humpty Dumpty and Scooby-Doo are. I heard him yelling at passers-by but did not feel it necessary to intervene. Then he started yelling “I believe in the Apocalypse. That’s the way to go! I’m going to blow up the whole world! It’s all going to burn!”

This had me somewhat concerned.

Then he loudly set up a drug deal to take place in ten minutes. It was at this point I felt it incumbent upon me to share my tale of woe with the non-emergency line for the police. Sure enough they arrived 10 minutes later but they seemed to misunderstand the complaint. They told him not to drink outside his apartment and stop yelling at passers-by about “Humpty Dumpty and The Apocalypse“. He swore at the cops, disrespected their authority, and said he would take his drinks inside but otherwise wouldn’t listen to them. The police had a big laugh over the whole thing and left.

I was less than thrilled with their response. Miraculously though it seemed to have the desired effect, he shut up and stayed in his apartment and hasn’t bothered anyone since.

Oh, and the crazy lady? Well last night I saw the light on in her apartment so I assume she must be back and alive. So it seems our crazy compliment is back to full.

I’ll try to contain my excitement.

This entry was posted on August 8, 2006 at 11:13 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.