Dream A Little Dream
Given that the impetus behind the creation of this blog (other than Jon’s demands for it) was a dream that I was able to recall in perfect detail (see ‘Iraqi Vacation’) I feel I should share with you the only other dream I’ve been able to recall since then.
It involved this girl I used to have a HUGE crush on. She was throwing a house party in the dream and it turned out after I agreed to go that only couples would be attending. Now in this dream, unlike reality, we were both single so when I mentioned my discomfort at being at a party full of couples she turned to me and said with a smirk “what’s the worst that could happen, we end up making out?”
Dream or no, how could you argue with that logic?
And who says “making out” after high school? Or “crush” for that matter. But I digress…
So sure enough we end up making out after the party and it’s great. As it’s happening I think back on how much I wanted to be with her back when I had my huge crush on her years ago and how cathartic the experience is, the latter of which an odd thing to think in a moment like that. So then as things heat up I suddenly realize that I have no interest in moving beyond kissing - I’m not attracted to her sexually! Trying to think my way out of this pickle I remember that she is friends with an ex of mine and then I wake up.
What the hell does THAT mean?
My best theory is that it was my subconscious purging any remaining amorous feelings I may have once held for her, although I hadn’t consciously thought about her that way in years. Maybe this is how someone evolves from an object of desire into a sister-like friend (well not MY sister, but you get the idea). She hinted back when I expressed an interest in her years ago that we weren’t sexually compatible, perhaps this is my way of finally admitting that she was right and I was wrong.
The male ego’s messed up, yo.
What’s next, cross-dressing on the moon with Hitler?
